Reality
by WhosYourMutti
Summary: This story is C/O, with a dash of A/O and is how I would have written the character of Casey Novak out of SVU at the end of last season as opposed to the stapled on send-off that she got. It is rated M for language, adult situations and adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: This story came about as a result of challenging myself to provide a more fitting and more realistic exit for the character of Casey Novak. It is an AU C/O fiction that begins during Undercover. All things SVU belong to the mighty Dick Wolf and Wolf Productions. No harm, foul or infringement is intended. I write for fun, not profit. All the original characters belong to me. In these first chapters we have major spoilers for Undercover and Night. Liberties are then taken for the rest of season 9. Enjoy!_**

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Detective Elliot Stabler heard the clicking of heels on the squad room floor and looked up. "Hey Case."

"Morning, Elliot." Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak looked around the room. "Liv around?"

Munch walked over nibbling a powdered donut. "To what do we owe the honor this fine day, counselor?"

"I wanted to talk to Liv about her testimony...the Richmond case. Is she in yet?" The detectives exchanged glances. Casey looked back and forth between the two men. "What?"

"Casey, maybe you should talk to the Captain. Liv is on assignment. Undercover." Elliot fidgeted nervously, tapping his pen against his fingers.

Casey crinkled her brow. "On what case? Do _not_ tell me the FBI scooped her up _again_." Why wasn't anyone looking her in the eye?

Munch walked over and sat on the edge of Elliot's desk. "The Alvarez case."

Casey looked at Detective John Munch. He was a jokester, but this was beyond even him. "You're not kidding, are you?" The statuesque woman's face clouded with concern.

Elliot shook his head and looked her in the eye for the first time.

"Ok, so I'm not imagining things here, can someone please give me the complete story? Where exactly is Detective Olivia Benson?" Her green eyes widened and her nostrils flared.

"Casey." The familiar, fatherly baritone of Captain Donald Cragen spun her around. "In my office, please."

She folded her arms and brushed passed the detectives and captain. Casey stood with her jaw set, her shoulders squared and her eyes filled with a mix of anger and confusion. "Well?"

"Sit?" The Captain offered meagerly. She shook her head. The captain folded his hands and began to explain. "Olivia has voluntarily gone deep undercover at Sealview Women's Correctional Facility. She wants to catch the CO that raped Justina and repeatedly raped her mother."

Casey sunk in to the chair as her face went white. "And you _let_ her? Elliot _let_ her? How? And why the hell was I kept on the outside, Don?" Her stomach knotted at the prospect of Olivia in prison...alone...unprotected...unable to protect the inmates. "The last I knew the warden wasn't cooperating."

The captain took his seat and leaned back. "It was all her idea and there was no stopping her. You know Liv." He took a deep breath and rubbed his bald head. "No one on the inside knows, not even the warden. We managed to get Fin a new job as a CO there, but that's the only lifeline she's got. She was committed as a drug offender."

"This is north of insane, Don. Let's trap Olivia in prison with a raping Corrections Officer, identity unknown, with no way to pull her out if it gets too dangerous." Casey rubbed her forehead. "Christ almighty." She exhaled.

"It's already done, Casey. I'm sorry." Don didn't know what else to say. "She's the best. You know that. If anyone can pull this off, she can."

"And I was left out here why?" Casey looked heavenward and felt tears that she'd never let fall sting the back of her eyes. "I'm her fricking ADA, Don."

"We needed to keep it as tight as we could." The captain was matter of fact. "The fewer people in the know, the safer the operation."

"I see. How is she communicating back?" She needed to think.

"Fin is her only way." The captain steepled his fingers.

"And have we heard from her yet?" Casey questioned.

"Not since she went in two days ago."

Casey sat silently turning the facts over in her prosecutorial mind. "I'm thinking the DA's office might want to offer this prisoner a deal in exchange for her testimony. Call the warden and arrange the meeting." Casey stood. "Today."

"Casey, I can't let you. It's too dangerous to send you in there." Cragen reasoned.

"Don't explain the dangers to me, Captain. Someone has to protect Olivia if you can't." Casey spat the words.

"You'll watch your tone, counselor. I don't like what you're implying." Cragen's cool exterior was heating up a bit as he placed both palms on his desk and leaned in.

"Get me in to see her. I'll find out what she knows, what she thinks and establish a way for us to come in to extract her at a moment's notice." Casey turned to walk out.

"Ok. Your plan has merit, Casey. I know you're just looking out for your detective. But you know you're not the only one." The captain held the angry green eyes with his gentle gaze.

"I know." Casey stormed through the squad room, heels clacking and her blue coat swaying as she stormed.

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The guard brought Olivia in cuffed and chained. She looked pale and had dark circles under her eyes. The orange jumpsuit did nothing for her olive complexion. There was a bandage on her left arm with a dab of blood on it. "Good afternoon, Miss Warren. Thanks for meeting with me."

Olivia stayed in character and let out a whistle. She narrowed her gaze at the red haired attorney. "Well, sweetheart, I'm never one to miss a date with a redhead." She leered at Casey as she sat in the chair opposite her. Her brown eyes roving over Casey's body and lighting on the low cut of the white shell under her dark suit.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?" Casey was impressed by Olivia's act.

"Nah...not unless you want to ask Barney here to leave and you throw in a foot rub." She winked at the redhead causing Casey to shift uncomfortably in her chair.

"Well, if you're certain you don't want anything, we'll move on. I'll ask to be alone with the prisoner, officer." Casey took some files out of her briefcase. "Oh, and please uncuff and unchain her as well."

"Damn, tiger. I'd have expected you'd prefer me tied up." She licked her lips as she lifted her bound wrists for the guard. "You heard the lady."

Casey felt her cheeks color slightly. Olivia was good. She cleared her throat. "Miss Warren. Are you enjoying being a guest of the state?" She posed the question as the guard exited.

Just in case the guard could still hear them Olivia played for a moment longer. "Oh, yeah. Five fuckin' stars, darlin'. Five fucking stars."

"I'll ask you to please watch your language. I'm here to discuss a deal." Casey played with some papers and looked up.

"Casey, why are _you_ here?" Olivia rolled her head from side to side.

"Because no one had heard from you since you went under and frankly I wanted to make sure you were safe. Oh and to tell you that you are insane for doing this." Casey held the gaze across the table from hers.

"Oh." Olivia read the genuine concern in the emerald eyes. "I like one guy for it. Justina's mother is dead. I know he did it but can't prove it. Can Warner arrange an autopsy? The inmates aren't really chatty, but I've got some leads. And I've been initiated." She lifted her arm.

"Ok, good. Write down the badge number of the guy you like. I'll talk to Melinda. God, Liv. Were you badly hurt?" Casey reached across the table, pushing a fake photo to Olivia.

"Just a scratch." Olivia smiled now. "So, you're gonna cut me a deal if I give up my dealer?"

"Something like that. And a DA witness can be yanked from the system with a simple warrant to compel." Casey pushed a paper across the table. "Just sign here."

"Uh huh." She grabbed the pen, signed and wrote down the facts they had just discussed. "Nice work, Case. Thank you."

"Please be safe, Liv. Let Fin know the minute you want out." Casey grabbed the pen back and squeezed Liv's hand. "Now on with our show."

"What should I do?" Olivia asked.

"Cause a ruckus. Just enough for me to call the guard back." Casey braced herself.

Olivia nodded and got back in character quickly. "So, whatdya say, Miss Novak? We've played let's make a deal...now..." She stood, circled the ADA then approached her from behind.

"Yes, we do have a deal. You'll be expected in court, per a subpoena that will be forthcoming. Please go back to your seat." Casey felt a little nervous as she felt Olivia standing behind her.

Olivia leaned down, her face inches from the crook of Casey's neck. She inhaled deeply. "Mmmmm, what is that, sweetheart? Honeysuckle and a hint a fear? My favorite." She placed her hand on Casey's shoulder. Casey's shudder was genuine.

Casey hit the red button on the side of the table. "Guard!"

"Shame. Things were just getting interesting." She held her palms up as the guard entered.

"Back off, bitch!" The guard grabbed Olivia hard and forced her to the ground. The crack of Olivia's head hitting the floor made Casey wince.

"Easy! She wasn't hurting me. Just a little too close for comfort. No need for _undue_ force, officer." Casey made her thoughts on roughing up inmates known in a single sentence and glare at the officer.

"Yes, ma'am. Just can't ever trust the feisty ones." He had Olivia recuffed, chained and was leading her out.

"Miss Warren?" Casey asked hoping for one more chance to make eye contact.

The officer spun her around. "Yeah, Miss Novak?"

"Do you have any questions for me on the arrangement we decided on today?" Casey was placing files back in her briefcase.

"Only one, sweetheart. You a natural redhead?" She winked and felt the CO's forearm pull her head and body around as she was led from the room. "Wear something with a slit to court for me, huh? I'm a leg woman...can't lay off the tall ones."

Olivia's last comments were hurled over her shoulder as she was led struggling from the room. Olivia was just playing a role. There was no need for Casey to feel as flustered over the exchange as she did. She explained it away as being hard for her to watch the guard be so rough with her friend. She knew better.

She smoothed out her skirt and collected herself. She felt the color subside from her cheeks.

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The moment Casey heard about the TB hold, she made a call. "Dr. Warner, it's Novak. I need to break medical protocol at Sealview to pull a witness...NOW. Meet me at Petrovsky's in 15 minutes...time to wake up a judge."

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Casey and Melinda came down the stairs behind Stabler and Munch. They learned Fin had gotten there in the nick of time and Olivia was for the most part unharmed.

Both women rode with Olivia in the ambulance to Manhattan General.

"I don't know why we're doing this. I'm not hurt. Fin got there in time." Olivia just wanted to go home and shower...for a few hours.

"Liv, you know why. We need to examine you and frankly, we need to collect any evidence of your assault." Melinda spoke professionally. She knew Liv knew this.

"We can't let this inhumane S.O.B. get away, Liv. Not after everything you've been through. I simply won't allow it." Casey grabbed Olivia's hand and squeezed it.

Olivia sighed deeply and squeezed Casey's hand back. "I know. I just want to get it over with and get home."

"I'll make sure they get you right in and handle everything quickly and accurately." Melinda's voice was still all business. "That was a ballsy thing you did, Liv." She finally smiled. "We need to make sure we nail this scum."

Liv nodded weakly.

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It was almost 2am before Olivia was dressed, packed and released. Casey stood in the doorway. "You ready to go?"

"I can get my own way home, Casey." Olivia laced up her sneakers.

"You did this for me once, Liv. I'm driving you home and making sure you get settled in. It's final." Casey folded her arms and set her shoulders with resolve.

"Guess Kat Warren would think I'm a pretty lucky gal having you drive me home." Liv smiled.

"Yeah, that was some performance, Liv." She grabbed Olivia's bag and walked her down the hall.

"I've seen a lot of scum try to get under people's skin. Inappropriate sexual banter is the easiest way to fluster most people...especially straight laced attorneys in power suits."

Casey led her to her car. "I'm not so straight laced, you know."

"Yeah, but it flustered you, right?" Liv played with the hospital ID bracelet on her wrist.

Casey hit the button to unlock her car. "My chariot, for instance."

"A freaking Prius? That makes you not straight laced?" Liv widened her eyes.

"Just get in. It's late and you've had a long day." Casey started the car. Liv gave her directions to her place. Casey parallel parked it like a champ in front of Liv's building.

"Thanks, Casey. I appreciate...everything." Liv said as she got out.

Casey turned off the engine and got out.

"You don't have to walk me up." Liv was getting exasperated with her ADA.

"I know I don't _have_ to. I _want_ to. Lead the way." Casey gestured to Olivia.

"Did you know you're stubborn?" Liv teased.

"Yes. It's on my resume." Casey could give as good as she got.

"Don't make me lapse in to Kat just to intimidate you again." Liv smirked.

"Kat didn't intimidate me." Casey countered as they got on the elevator.

"Oh no?" Olivia flipped a switch. "Alone at last, Miss Novak." She placed a hand on either side of Casey's head and pressed in to her personal space.

"Liv, stop." Casey tried to yank her arms away, but Liv was strong.

"Thought you weren't intimidated?" Liv tilted her head.

"I'm not." Casey flushed as the elevator indicated their floor and the doors opened.

"Uh huh." Liv stepped away and fished her keys out of her bag. "Here we are."

Casey followed Liv in to her apartment, uninvited. "Nice place."

"Thanks. Look, Case..." She took off her jacket and hung it up. "I'm sorry about the elevator. I don't know what got in to me. My head's not on straight."

"That's why I'm here." Casey smiled shyly.

"Thank you, again. I'm settled though. I'm showering and going to bed." Liv tried to sound like she had it all under control.

Casey loitered in the entryway. "When was the last time you ate something?" She questioned using her prosecutor voice.

"I don't remember, counselor." Liv pursed her lips. At the mention of food her stomach lurched a little. "I'm actually not feeling very hungry right now."

"Go shower. I'll make you something light. You really should eat something." Casey waited for Olivia to respond.

"You're being a special kind of pain in my ass. Good luck finding anything in there. If I remember correctly, I've got beer, spoiled milk and fish sticks." She gestured down the hall to the kitchen.

"Just doing my part to help those that protect and serve." Casey took off her coat and made her way towards the kitchen.

"Suit yourself. I'll only be a few minutes." Liv walked down the hall looking forward to a very cleansing shower.

"Take your time, Liv." Casey was opening and closing cabinets by the time Liv returned from her bedroom with a tank top, boxers and a towel. She shrugged at the woman and went in to the bathroom with a shake of her head.

Casey found two apples, some saltines and half a tub of peanut butter. She could make that work. She rummaged a bit further and found some lemon tea. She had peeled and sliced up the apples in a small bowl with a smear of peanut butter on the side and was arranging the crackers on a plate when the tea kettle started to boil. She found two mismatched mugs and poured the water so the tea could steep.

She could still hear the water running, but it had been almost a half hour. She walked down the hall to the bathroom. She heard muffled noises coming from behind the door. She knocked lightly. "Liv?" When she got no answer she knocked again. "Liv, are you ok?" She waited. "Answer me please."

Casey began to panic. She tried the knob and it gave. She turned the knob and pushed the door open. She blinked back against the steam that stung her eyes. "LIV?" This time, she heard strangled sobs coming from behind the shower curtain.

"I'm coming in, ok?" She rushed over and pulled back the curtain. Olivia sat huddled in the far corner of the tub, uncontrolled sobs racking her naked body. Her normally olive skin was bright red from the hot water raining down on her. "Oh God, Liv. No." She reached out to touch the woman, but Liv recoiled from her.

"NO! Damn it! Sonofabitch, NONONONO!!!!!!!!!!" Olivia's voice was raw.

"Ok, sweetie. I'm sorry. I...I'm here. Ok, Liv? I'll just be...right here." Casey sank down beside the tub.

After a few minutes, Olivia's sobs turned to dry heaves.

"Liv, we need to get you out of there. I'm going to turn off the water, ok?" Casey looked at the shaking, sobbing detective and her heart broke. 'What did that son of a bitch do to you?' The medical exam had returned no evidence of rape. She was beaten and bruised, but... Casey reached in and turned off the water. She got the towel and held it up. "Just stand up, ok?" Casey averted her eyes as the broken woman before her stood and stepped in to the towel. Casey wrapped it around her. Olivia was shaking.

"Dear God, Liv. We need to get you dressed, ok?" Casey's eyes filled with tears for Liv.

Olivia's face was vacant. She heard Casey's words but couldn't process them. She stood, dripping wet, shivering, wrapped in a towel her hands dangling uselessly at her sides.

Casey rubbed her face with her hands. "Ok, I'll help. That's what friends are for, right?" She carefully toweled off Olivia's hair, face, shoulders and back. She took a step back. "Liv, can you do the rest yourself?"

Olivia nodded slowly.

"Ok, I'll turn around and get your clothes. If you need help, just let me know." She turned her back as Olivia finished drying off.

"Uh, Case..." She felt a cold, shaking hand touch her arm, but she didn't turn.

"Yes, Liv?"

"So cold." Liv's voice was a raspy whisper.

Casey looked down at the tank and shorts in her hand. "Ok, we'll get you some warmer things." She looked around the bathroom and found a robe. "Here, put this on until we find something else. Is it ok if I turn around?"

"Yes." Liv's voice was a whisper.

Casey turned. She saw a shaking, shivering ghost of Olivia Benson. A mere shadow of the brave, stalwart detective she knew. She was naked before her in every way possible. She saw the deep bruises on Liv's torso and her throat tightened in anger at the man that put them there. "Come here, Liv." She held the robe open for her.

Olivia stepped in to the robe. Casey tied it in front and rubbed Liv's arms quickly hoping for the warming effect of friction. "Better?"

Olivia nodded.

"Ok, let's go get some clothes." She offered Olivia her hand and Olivia grasped it almost desperately. Olivia pulled the redhead to her and clung for dear life. Casey snaked her arms around Olivia and held her tightly.

Casey felt the woman tense and then relax in her arms. She went with it. If Olivia needed to be held, to feel warm and close and protected she was glad to provide that service. Lord knows Olivia had played that role to countless women. "Shhhh. It's ok. I'm here. You're safe now." She rubbed Olivia's back and rocked her as silent tears rolled down both women's cheeks.

After several minutes, Olivia spoke. "Sorry, I...I."

"Shhhh, don't you say another sentence that starts with sorry. You did nothing wrong. So if you're going to apologize, just don't." She was still holding Olivia.

"Ok. Thank you." Liv sighed heavily. "I should get some clothes."

"Yeah. You ok to go do that?" Casey whispered.

Olivia nodded against her shoulder. "Yeah."

"Ok, I'll clean up in here and meet you in the living room." Casey didn't want to be the one to break the embrace.

Olivia pulled back and took a deep breath. "Sounds good."

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	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's Note: I can't believe I didn't mention this in the first chapter! I gratefully accept any and all feedback. With that said, let's get back to this story. Thanks for reading and enjoy!_**

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When Olivia came out of her bedroom, she was wearing gray drawstring pants, a white long sleeve shirt and gray wool socks.

"How are you feeling?" Casey was sitting on the sofa spreading out the snack she had prepared.

"Like hammered shit, Case. I just...the emotions steamrolled me in there." She looked down as embarrassment seized her.

"It needed to come out, Liv. So Detective Benson isn't Superwoman. Your secret's safe with me." Casey patted the sofa. "Sit. Eat. Drink." She had found some bourbon and spiked the tea she remade after she'd returned from the bathroom. "I put a shot in the tea. Figured we could both use it."

"Thanks, Case." She sat on the sofa and tucked her legs under her. "How did you make this with what I had?"

"I cut up an apple and opened a jar of peanut butter. I didn't make a soufflé." Casey smiled and handed Liv a small plate.

When the scent of peanut butter hit Liv's nose, her stomach sent a message that it wanted food. "It's perfect. I wouldn't know what to do with a soufflé right now." She dipped her slice of apple in the peanut butter. "Mmmm."

"Good. Eat up." Casey sipped her tea.

"You need to go. You've got to work in the morning." Olivia knew it had to be late.

"It's already morning and they can deal without me for one day. Stop worrying about me." Casey sensed that she was deflecting the conversation.

"I guess so." Liv ate another bite of apple and a few crackers. Then she sipped her tea.

"Do you need anything else, Liv? Do you want to talk about it?" Casey's questions were quiet and even.

"I'll call Huang in the morning. I think I'm just tired for now." Olivia was chewing up the last bite of apple and scraping the peanut butter off the plate with a cracker.

"Sleep will do you good." Casey started to gather the dishes and yawned a big yawn.

"You must be beat. God, I didn't even think. Go home, Casey." Olivia scratched her head.

"Honestly, Liv. I don't think there's a chance in hell of me leaving you alone here. Not after what you've been through." Casey turned a resolved glance to Olivia. "I can sleep on your sofa if it's ok."

"Sure, my sofa is your sofa." Liv exhaled. "Thank you, Casey. So much, for everything." Exhaustion was starting to get the better of her.

"You're welcome, Liv. Really. Just tell me where I can find a pillow and a blanket." Casey smiled.

"In the hall closet." Liv gestured to the right. "Good night, Casey." She got up and waved.

"Night, Liv. Sleep well. I'll be here if you need anything." Casey found a pillow and a blanket on the top shelf. She changed in to the boxers and tank that Olivia had originally pulled out for herself.

Liv padded down the hall and switched off the light. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. She stared in to the dark bedroom and froze.

Casey was plumping the pillow and working herself in to a comfortable spot on the sofa when she heard footsteps. "Liv? You ok?"

Olivia stood in the archway of the hall. She tried to speak.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Casey sat up and switched on the light.

"I...uh...it's...I can't go in to my bedroom. The dark and...the mattress..." Liv's dark brown eyes shone with unshed tears.

"Ok, ok. You want me to walk you to your room?" Casey asked.

Liv shrugged.

"Come here." She pulled back the blanket and stood up. Liv walked over to her.

"I just...I don't...God Casey...why?" Liv found herself in Casey's arms again.

"It's ok and why doesn't matter. We can just stay out here if that's what you need." She sat them both down on the sofa and pulled Liv's head to her shoulder. She stroked her hair and tried to calm her.

"Here's good." Liv relaxed in to the soft warmth of Casey's shoulder and the soothing sound of her voice. The last thing she said before sleep claimed her was, "Good."

Casey arranged them more comfortably on the sofa and pulled up the blanket. That's where they woke up at eleven o'clock the next morning.

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Casey woke with no feeling in one of her arms and a crick in her neck. The reason was pretty clear. The detective was situated on top her with her head resting on her chest and both arms squeezing her tightly around the waist. Casey's arms were around her, too. One was over Olivia with the hand she could barely feel resting on the small of her back, the other on her shoulder.

She tried to wiggle out. "Liv?" She whispered hoping not to wake her, but to stir her enough to get out from under her. It didn't work.

Olivia groaned and snuggled her way further in to the chest under her head. Liv wasn't awake, but she knew she felt warm and safe.

Casey's eyes closed at the sensation of Olivia nuzzling her upper chest. Then they popped open. "Liv, sweetie..." She rubbed her shoulder a little.

"Mmmmm, little longer, kay, hun?" This time Liv again rubbed her face against the soft warm flesh under her and kissed it still more than half asleep.

When Casey felt lips on the base of her neck, she gasped. "Wake up, Liv. C'mon." She gently shook her shoulder.

Liv became slowly aware of feeling safe and warm...and soft. Her nose was filled with the scent of honeysuckle. She couldn't remember where she was exactly, but there was a voice...a woman. She lifted her head and her eyes fluttered open. "Casey?"

"Yes." Casey snaked one arm out from under her as she lifted up. She lifted it above her head and shook it. "Sorry to wake you. My arm was going numb."

"Sorry." Liv was trying to remember how it was she came to be sleeping on top of her ADA.

"Just let me up and you can sleep more." Casey shifted but Liv's weight was still squarely on top of her.

"Right, sure. Sorry." Liv pushed herself up with her arms and let Casey up. "I...uh..."

Casey watched the muscles in her arms flex and cleared her throat. "Don't give it another thought. Go back to sleep, ok?" She stood next to the sofa and watched as Liv settled back in. She covered her with the blanket that was still warm from both of them and still held the scent of honeysuckle.

"Ok." Liv's eyes closed as she curled up on her side and snuggled in to the sofa.

Casey stood there for a minute observing her friend. 'She's really beautiful when she sleeps. She really needed some rest.'

Casey padded out to the kitchen to see if there was anything else she might fix them to eat. She found the cupboards pretty bare and decided she'd run to the store. She wrote a quick note, washed up, dressed, fixed her hair as best she could and headed out.

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Liv woke to the sound of clanging and banging in her kitchen. She sat up and yawned. 'Must be Casey. Can't believe she stayed here this whole time.' She stretched and scratched her head. She padded out to the kitchen. "Casey...what the hell did you do?"

Casey looked up from the fridge. "I went shopping. These are called groceries. Mostly they consist of food stuffs." She smirked indicating the bags. "How did you sleep?"

"So that's it? No good morning...just right to giving me shit?" Olivia smiled. "I slept great. Thank you for that. I don't really know what to say."

"Good morning, rather afternoon. You don't have to say anything. I stayed because you needed someone and I'm glad I could be there. Enough, ok?" Casey was resting her hands on the refrigerator door and tilted her head with a sigh.

"Ok, if you insist. Can I help put stuff away or anything?" Olivia looked around at the bags and food sitting on the counter.

"Yeah, sure. You want anything to drink? I got OJ, Dr. Pepper and some lemon-lime seltzer."

"OJ sounds great." Liv went to the cupboard and got a glass. "Thanks."

Casey handed her the juice. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to shop for someone based strictly on knowledge of their take-out habits and the occasional working lunch?" Casey was placing bread, eggs and lunchmeat in the fridge.

Liv shook her head. "No clue. Bet it's no picnic though. Walk me through it." Liv dug through some bags and put away two jars of sauce and a tub of peanut butter.

"Well, I know your sandwich of choice is turkey, American, lettuce, tomato on whole wheat with cucumbers and honey mustard dressing." She held up the packages of lunchmeat. "People's Exhibit A. Turkey, American and whole wheat bread."

"I don't care what Munch says. We've got a clever ADA." She grinned. "And which of my take-out orders inspired this purchase?" She held up a box of Icy Hot liniment.

"Oh, that would be watching you eat hot wings at Mulligan's." Casey joked as she grabbed the juice and milk and placed them in the fridge.

"Ah. Killing an NYPD detective will get you the needle...DA's office or no." Liv placed a big bag of Munch-O potato chips in the cabinet. "Seriously?"

"My neck's a little sore." Casey was gathering up empty bags.

"Ah, from holding me like a toddler while I used you for a bed last night." Olivia's lips became a straight line on her face. She hated the thought that what Casey had done for her wound up causing her pain.

"I'm sure that's part of it. It's also where I carry my tension mixed with an old softball injury. I'll be just fine. I've handled it before." Casey stood in front of Liv.

Liv nodded as she listened. "So, do you want to get back to your place? I mean you've babysat me quite enough."

Casey shook her head. "I have the whole day. Are you hungry?"

Liv stared at Casey deep in thought for long moments. She took in the redhead. She was being so kind to her. She was doing more than a colleague would...more than a friend. Was it because she knew that Liv didn't have anyone else? She shuddered at the thought that she was here out of pity.

"Shall I rephrase, detective?" When she got no response she reached out and touched her arm. "Liv?"

"What?" Olivia snapped out of her thoughts.

"You ok? What were you thinking about just then?" Casey left her hand on Liv's arm.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "Just that I hope you're not doing all this out of pity." She pursed her lips and looked down.

"I'm not." She tried to think of how to explain. "Liv. Look at me, please?" She waited until Liv's gaze met hers. "I'm not. I swear. I'm here because I want to be. No other reason."

Olivia saw sincerity in the emerald eyes that held her gaze. She took a deep breath. The silence was broken by the blare of a cell phone.

"That's yours, Liv." Both women searched to find the bag that held Liv's phone.

Liv found it and snapped it open. "Benson." Liv leaned on the counter. "Yeah, I'm doing ok. Last night was a little rough. Tomorrow for sure, Elliot. Thanks. Tell her and the kids I'm fine. That'd be great. Nope, Casey's taking good care of me. Yeah. Tell them I'm fine. I will. You too. Bye."

"Elliot?" Casey asked as she poured herself a 50-50 mix of juice and seltzer.

"Yeah. Just checking in." Olivia smiled. "It's almost three in the afternoon. I should get dressed."

"Only if you want to. If ever a day screamed just stay in your jammies and relax, Liv, this day does." Casey sipped her drink.

"You don't mind?" Liv tilted her head.

"If you want to change, change. But don't do it on my account." Casey returned to her original question. "Are you hungry?"

"Maybe I'll just go freshen up a bit. And yes, I'm hungry...but I can get myself something. You don't have to wait on me hand and foot." Liv drummed her fingers on the counter.

"Again, Liv, I'm talking about throwing together sandwiches, not eggs benedict. Go freshen up. Are sandwiches ok?" Casey smiled gently.

"Yeah, thanks." She turned and headed towards the bathroom.

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Before Casey heard Liv come back in the kitchen, she could smell her. That distinctive scent of musk and spice that preceded Detective Benson in to any room she entered. During cooler weather, it would mix with the scent of her leather coat. It's how Casey knew Liv was in the courtroom, outside her office or in the squad room or not.

"Hey." Liv said as she stood in the kitchen doorway. "Looks good."

Casey almost said it, but didn't. 'So do you.' Olivia had changed in to navy Capri sport pants and a well-worn white NYPD t-shirt. Her hair had been brushed and she had a hint of mint on her breath. "You look like you feel better."

"I do, thanks." Olivia smiled her thousand-watt smile.

"So, sit. Eat." Liv joined her at the small table in the eat-in kitchen. "We've got turkey sandwiches with American, lettuce, cucumber, tomato and honey mustard dressing, chips and some grapes. I didn't know what you'd want to drink."

Liv grabbed a napkin and tucked it in her lap. "This is great. Thanks. It's all my favorites." 'She knows all my favorites. That's so...sweet.' She noticed that there was an assortment of drinks to choose from. "I'll take a Dr. Pepper."

The women ate and chatted casually. When Liv was finished, she popped the last grape in her mouth, wiped with her napkin and sat back in her chair. "Thanks again, Casey."

"You're welcome, again, Liv. I enjoy your company. Wish it were under different circumstances." Casey crunched the last of her chips.

"Hmph. Yeah, I know." Liv looked down and rubbed her forehead.

"Liv...talk to me about it." Casey pleaded with her eyes.

Liv shook her head. "He didn't rape me, ok? Can we leave it at that?"

"As your friend, maybe I could accept that. As the ADA who's responsible for making that rat bastard pay for what he did, I can't." She reached across and grabbed Liv's empty plate.

Olivia's hand stopped hers. "Case." She took a deep breath and looked up in to the concerned emerald eyes. "I...I just...tomorrow, ok? Can we do this tomorrow? I'll make a statement and...everything. Please."

Casey reached out and put her other hand over Liv's. "Of course. Whatever you need. I didn't mean to push. I can't get out of prosecutor-mode. Sorry." She held Olivia's gaze and saw the pain and fear in her eyes. "It's gotten to me somehow. I can't stand the thought of someone hurting _you_..." Casey paused and swallowed the lump in her throat. "And here's where I should stop talking." She pulled her hands back and stood up under the guise of clearing the table.

Liv sat struck dumb for a moment. Casey was really opening up and it was somehow comforting to hear her say some of the very things she was feeling. "Casey stop."

Casey kept clearing the dishes.

Liv stood and crossed behind her. "Casey? Stop for a minute."

Casey stopped at the sink but didn't turn around. She placed both hands on the sink for support, bent her head and tried to check her emotions. She was there to support Liv not break down.

"Casey, please." Liv put a tentative hand on Casey's shoulder and tugged gently. "Turn around."

Casey drew in a sharp breath and turned to face her. She worried her bottom lip. "Liv..." Her voice was on the verge of cracking and she cleared her throat.

"Just talk to me. What you said before...it's the same thing I'm feeling." Liv once again pleaded for her to give voice to the feelings she could not.

Casey buried her face in her hands to collect her thoughts. "I can handle it when one of my detectives get hurt in the line of duty. You're not meter maids. Christ, half of you have been shot...you've all been shot at, nearly blown up, beaten up. _I've_ been beaten up. And it's all in the course of a day." She rubbed at the back of her neck.

Liv stood with her hand still on the taller woman's shoulder and gave a small squeeze. Her soft brown eyes begged her to continue.

"But this was…different. You were more than just hurt. I don't know what he did, but to see the pain and the hurt in your eyes..._you_ of all people. You're the strongest woman I know. Your spirit was broken. If this can happen to you...it can happen to anyone." Casey took a deep breath. "It broke _my_ spirit to watch it happen. It broke my heart. I felt... helpless." She lowered her eyes.

Olivia swallowed audibly at the counselor's words. She reached out her other arm and placed her hand on Casey's other shoulder. "Wow. No wonder they pay you for your verbal skills." She pulled the woman to her and embraced her warmly.

Casey closed her eyes and sank in to Olivia's arms. "It's a gift." She spoke the words against Olivia's shoulder. She felt Olivia laugh.

Olivia whispered in to the soft red hair. "Glad you found your calling, counselor."

Her words tickled Casey's neck as she spoke. Casey became aware that Olivia was rubbing her back in soft calming strokes. She let herself relax in to the embrace.

"Thanks for that, Casey." Liv lifted her head and looked up at Casey. "I felt helpless, too. Things like that aren't supposed to happen to me." She leaned in.

Casey pulled back. "Liv?"

Olivia let her pull back but still held her. "What, Case?" Her chocolate brown eyes practically twinkled when they spoke the familiar of her name.

"Uh, what's happening here, exactly?" Green searched brown for answers. She knew she had a girl-crush on the older woman. She was strong yet feminine, soft yet with an edge. And when she did what she did best, she wasn't sure who wouldn't find themselves falling for the dark haired beauty. But she knew that it was silly...a schoolgirl crush, no different than ones she'd had on teachers in school, a crush borne of deep respect and admiration. Now, a moment ago it appeared as though Olivia was leaning in to _kiss_ her.

"I have no idea. But this..." Liv gestured to the two of them. "This feels right." She leaned in again.

Casey put her hand up to stop Liv's progress. "Wait. This..." She replicated Liv's gesture. "Feels a lot like taking advantage of your emotionally vulnerable state. I..." She searched her mind for the right words.

"See, counselor, you've got no clue how to properly take advantage of someone. It'd never hold up in front of a jury. Taking advantage involves being the aggressor, less clothes and a lot less talking." She leaned her head against Casey's forehead and smiled. "But you get extra points for chivalry."

"Jokes, Liv? You're making jokes now?" Casey had to smile too; the brunette's smile was indeed contagious.

"It's my defense mechanism. Not unlike your smart-ass remarks." She brushed her nose against Casey's.

"Can we just please slow down a bit?"

Olivia pulled back, placed a kiss on Casey's forehead and smirked. "Sure. You be the pace car."

"I mean...we're standing in your kitchen and having a pretty complicated conversation and it's all just a bit overwhelming." Casey pulled out of the embrace.

"Agreed." Liv exhaled heavily and shrugged. "Where's a better place to have a complicated conversation about realizing the unrequited is suddenly attainable?" Olivia was still trying for humor.

Casey wasn't feeling as light about it as Liv was. "Don't be flip, Liv." She walked out of the kitchen not exactly sure where she was going.

"I'm sorry, Case. I didn't mean it that way." Liv followed her to the living room where Casey just stood with her head in her hands. "Just tell me what you need."

"It's not about what _I_ need. It's about what _you_ need right now. And the timing just plain sucks, Liv." She spoke from under her own hands. "Sucks." She needed to pull herself together or get out of there.

Liv walked up behind her and placed her hand flat on Casey's back between her shoulder blades. "Why does it suck?"

Casey's body pressed back in to the hand involuntarily. "Because I'm supposed to be here for you, to be strong for you. Not be trying to..." She couldn't even say it and blushed.

"Get in to my pants?" Liv slipped her hand around to her shoulder and pulled the tall redhead sideways against her. "You feel like this is taking advantage."

Casey nodded. She didn't trust her voice.

"Ok. Tell me what you want."

"I want to be there for you. I want to be here for you. I want to help you through whatever happened. For reasons I can't explain, I want to take care of you." Casey uncovered her face and reluctantly met the warm brown eyes that had never been taken off her. She held her breath.

"Ok, wow." Olivia just stared. Someone wanted to take care of _her_. Wait, not just someone...Casey. "Casey?"

"Yes?" Their gazes were locked. The warm brown eyes sent a chill down Casey's spine. The hand on her shoulder was almost burning her skin.

"I want to let you...take care of me." Olivia's heart was in her throat and her mouth went dry. "Kiss me? Please?" She pleaded with her voice and her eyes but she didn't move a muscle. She became hyper aware of her breathing and her pulse.

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	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's Note: I'll once again make a plea for any and all feedback/reviews. Feedback is the food that feeds a hungry muse. Thanks so much for reading! Let's get back to our ladies, shall we?_**

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Casey closed her eyes. Could she do it? In her world everything was carefully thought out, calculated and even to make up for the chaos of the cases she prosecuted. This was spontaneous and out of the blue and..."Yes." 'What the hell did I just...' A pair of incredibly soft lips brushing hers lightly interrupted her thought. With that, her mind went temporarily blank. She sighed.

Olivia's hands encircled the taller woman's waist. Olivia brushed feather light kisses against Casey's full lips. She pressed her lips against hers again and again, but didn't deepen the kiss.

Casey melted at the tenderness in the kisses. Her big, strong, tough detective being so gentle, so careful was making her heart race. She let out a small moan and pressed herself further in to Olivia's body and further in to the kiss.

When Liv heard Casey moan it started a five-alarm fire in her belly. Casey's lips parted almost imperceptibly to moan. Liv brushed her tongue gently against Casey's lips, tracing them softly. She savored the tastes on her tongue. Casey had a sweet, tangy flavor that Liv found mesmerizing.

Casey growled deep in her throat and in a swift motion opened her mouth to capture Liv's tongue. She needed to taste Liv. The tongue in her mouth was salty, earthy and a little spicy. It was her new favorite flavor. She stroked the tongue with her own and buried her fingers in Liv's baby soft brown hair, pulling her closer and tighter against her.

Liv felt her knees going weak as the redhead deepened the kiss. She also noticed a tightening in her chest that sent a message about needing oxygen. She pulled away with a series of small kisses and rested her forehead against Casey's. "Wow."

"Wow is a fair assessment." Casey licked her lips and tried to catch her breath. She moved her hands out of Liv's hair to the back of her neck. She rubbed the tender flesh there with her thumbs.

"So, now what, counselor?" Liv's hands were still gripping the younger woman's waist.

"Cold shower?" She laughed and smiled.

Liv chuckled. "Yeah." She squeezed the soft flesh under her hands gently. "I suppose it's fair of you to want a shower. Do you want to run back to your place or..."? Liv scratched her head.

"Yes I want a shower. Running to my place for a few things would probably be a good idea. There's only one question I have for you." Casey kissed the tip of Liv's nose.

"And what's that?" Liv was grinning from ear to ear now.

"Am I staying the night again tonight?" She pulled back to see Liv's face.

"That's the silliest question I've ever heard in my life. Yes, please. Stay…only if you want to." Liv suddenly became a little nervous and her stomach flopped.

"I want to. Very much." Casey shook her head. "Don't look so scared. I'm the one who's terrified we'll wind up on the couch again and I'll need a chiropractor."

"I think I'll be able to face my bed if I'm not alone." She looked at Casey coyly.

"Mmmm, the stalwart detective playing coy with me…" Casey leaned in and kissed those full lips again...quickly, yet soundly. "I like it."

"I could get used to that. You're a really, really good kisser." Liv sighed.

"Thanks. Good to know you approve. Although practice makes perfect right?" Casey was enjoying the teasing.

"If practice makes that any more perfect, I'm a dead woman." She reached down and slapped Casey lightly on the buttocks. "But what a way to go!"

Casey squealed and batted her hand away spinning out of the embrace. "Let me run to my apartment, shower, change and pick up a few things. I'll make dinner for us when I get back."

"Ok. Sounds good. I'll be here when you get back." She walked over and kissed Casey's cheek. "We've still got some things to talk about and work out, don't we?"

"Yeah, but I know we will." Casey kissed Liv's cheek softly in return. "Be right back." She turned, grabbed her bag and let herself out.

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Liv was curled up on the sofa reading a magazine when she heard the buzzer an hour and forty-five minutes later. She got up and held the button. "Hello?"

"Hey Liv. It's Casey." Casey's voice made her smile.

"Hey sweetheart. Did you sprint?" Liv's voice teased. "Come up." She held the buzzer as she heard Casey chuckle.

A moment later, Casey rapped lightly on the door. Liv peered through the peephole and saw Casey standing at the door. She looked good. She opened the door. "Welcome back, counselor."

"Have we switched to the formal mode of address, detective?" Casey smiled broadly not crossing the threshold.

Liv looked her up and down. She had changed in to snug fitting, hip-hugging jeans that clung to Casey's curves in all the right places. She wore her Sex Crimes softball shirt and an unzipped spring fleece. She unconsciously licked her lips and swallowed. "Depends. Would you allow someone who's shirt advertised 'Sex Crimes' to address you by the familiar, Miss Novak?"

"I guess you'll have to trust your instincts, Detective Benson. I know you're one of New York's finest. I'll wait for you to decide." With that she reached one arm up above her head and leaned against the door jamb simultaneously stretching the shirt tight across her chest and raising it up to expose a pale strip of tight tummy.

Olivia bit her bottom lip to stifle a sound that was threatening to come up from deep inside her. "Casey." She breathed. "Get in here." She grabbed the taller woman by the waist and pulled her across the threshold in to her arms.

Casey closed the door behind her and set her overnight bag down. Before she could look up, Olivia made a sound in her throat like a jungle cat and pounced on her pushing her back up against the door. She let out a soft yelp.

Olivia's mouth covered hers possessively. One hand snaked around her waist and held her tight against the brunette. The other looped her finger through the belt loop of her jeans and her thumb stroked the soft exposed skin just above the waistband.

Casey groaned in to Olivia's mouth and she wrapped her hand in Liv's hair to deepen the kiss. Her other hand clutched the well-muscled back for dear life.

Liv pulled back resting her head on Casey's shoulder. "Sorry about that. But the life-lesson there is do _not_ tease the detective."

"So noted." Casey panted in to Liv's ear. "So noted."

After both women had collected themselves, Casey dug around in her bag. She presented Liv with a bottle of wine. "I brought you this."

Liv grabbed the bottle of wine. "Chianti. Nice. Thanks."

"Well, I got it as a gift and never open a bottle for myself. If I don't open it soon I'll be able to sprinkle it on my salad with a little oil one day." Casey smiled. "Hope you like it."

"Yup, it's perfect. We're having Italian for dinner." Liv took the bottle in to the kitchen.

"Italian? You're cooking?" Casey exaggerated her surprise. "Well, we've got good wine for our last meal any way."

"Casey, I'm hurt." Olivia covered her heart. "How many women would boil water, open jars and chop veggies for you? Oh, and heat an oven?"

Olivia had changed as well and was wearing flannel pants that hung low on her waist and a matching navy tank top. Casey thought that they particularly showed off her assets.

"Earth to Casey?" Olivia walked over to the stove and turned the burner on to heat the water.

Casey walked up behind her. She pressed herself in to Olivia's back and whispered in her ear. "No one else would. Thank you." She kissed her gently behind the ear. "Where's your corkscrew?" She brushed up against her and lifted the lid on the smaller pot while resting a hand on a firm round butt cheek.

Olivia closed her eyes and shuddered. "I...ah...uhmmm, what was the question again?"

Casey grabbed the spoon that was in the sauce and tasted it. "Mmm, good. Corkscrew, Liv...where is it?"

"Right, top drawer on the left." Casey enjoyed the flush that rose on Liv's cheeks. "And don't thank me for the sauce. Apparently the woman you want is one Francesca Rinaldi. _You_ were the one who bought it. I just opened the jar."

"I see. This Francesca seems a bit too matronly for my taste. I prefer my women a bit more..." She grabbed Olivia's butt and gave it a gentle squeeze. "...fit." She walked away to scare up the corkscrew.

Liv shook her head and took the spaghetti out of the cupboard. "You're so bad."

"Good thing I was caught by a detective then." Casey peeled the foil from the bottle and quickly divested the bottle of its cork with a faint pop.

"You're skilled at that." Liv stirred the sauce again.

"It's all in the wrist." Casey grinned and winked across the kitchen at the wide-eyed detective. "Wine glasses?"

Liv pointed her to the right cupboard and Casey poured them two glasses. "Want to sit while we wait for the water to boil?"

Casey nodded and handed her a glass of the fragrant red liquid. "To the start of something?"

"To the start of something amazing and beautiful." Liv clinked her glass lightly to Casey's and sipped. "Mmmm, very good Chianti."

"I'll meet you in the living room. I want to get something from my bag." Casey handed Liv her glass and followed her out of the kitchen.

"You can put your bag in the bedroom if you want, Case." Olivia called down the hall.

Casey returned with a single long stemmed rose in her hand. She twirled it shyly and sat on the sofa. She handed it to Olivia. "I had this whole thing I wanted to say...but I can't remember a word of it." She closed her eyes and tried to remember. "I know you've been through a lot. But once you come out the other end of this, Liv, I'll still be here."

Olivia took the rose and smelled it. "Thank you. You know the saying it's always darkest before the dawn? I wish it didn't have to get as dark as it got, but if you're the dawn, I'd do it again in a minute."

Casey welled up with the beautiful words Liv had just spoken. "Poetry, Liv?"

"Truth, Casey." She reached out and caught the tears before they were completely shed. She leaned in and kissed both of Casey's eyelids. "No tears."

"Happy tears, Liv. Good tears." Casey pressed her lips lightly to Liv's keeping the kiss light, savoring the feel of the soft lips against hers, just catching the hint of the bouquet of the wine on Liv's lips. She pulled back and reached for her wine.

"Happy Casey equals happy Liv." She smiled and sipped her wine as well.

"Good formula." Casey scooted over so she was next to Liv on the sofa and leaning up against her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Hmmm, since you are a professional, I suppose you can. Fire away, sweetheart." She put the rose on the coffee table. Liv wrapped her arm around Casey who had shed her fleece and stroked her shoulder lightly.

"How long have you known you had feelings for me?" Casey found Liv's hand and laced their fingers.

"Go right for the jugular." Olivia teased. "Let's see. What time is it?"

Casey elbowed her lightly in the ribs. "Seriously."

"Good thing they don't allow physical contact with witnesses on the stand." Liv rubbed her side mockingly. "I guess my first inkling was about a year ago. I went from viewing you as the enemy to viewing you as a partner then a friend then 'holy moly that's a low cut shirt and what is going on under that skirt and great Lord those legs and shame on you Liv'." Liv smiled and squeezed her hand.

Casey laughed. "My evil plot worked." She snuggled against Liv's shoulder and took another sip of wine. "Took long enough. I thought I was going to have to go over testimony naked one of these days before you'd notice me."

"Oh, I noticed." Liv sighed at the warmth of the younger woman next to her. "How about you? When did you notice me?"

"Let's see I've been with SVU about five years so that would be about..." She pretended to perform some calculation in her head. "yeah, about five years."

"Really?"

Casey nodded and blushed a little.

Liv thought it was the sweetest thing ever. "Can I ask the dumbest question?" She got another nod as Casey sipped more wine. "How long have you known you were gay?"

"Ok, baby, the term is lesbian and let me think..." Again Casey appeared to be doing math in her head. "About thirty years give or take."

"Oh. I guess there were signs. I never got that gaydar I've heard so much about."

"Sweetie, I've never dated a man that _you_know of and I play on the softball team. That's the universal neon sign." She giggled at Liv's naiveté. "The Prius is just the extra credit, but it doesn't hurt."

"So, where can I get my gaydar adjusted?" Liv grinned.

"Oh, there's only way to tune up a girl's gaydar and I'm not quite sure we're ready for that...yet." She placed her hand on Liv's stomach and felt the muscles twitch under her touch.

Liv gasped. "I think we have a 10-20 on my gaydar." She closed her eyes. "Let's schedule a tune-up soon."

Casey rubbed gently then whispered in Liv's ear. "Liv? I think you should check your pasta water."

"Shit! I forgot." Liv jumped up and practically knocked Casey over on her way.

"It's ok. I was distracting you." Casey got up and followed Liv in to the kitchen.

"Crap, crap, crap." Liv ran over to the pot of water that was boiling over like Vesuvius. She grabbed the lid with her bare hand and instantly hissed in pain. "Fuck!" The lid clanged to the floor.

Casey watched from the doorway trying her hardest not to laugh. She went over to the stove and turned down the water. She walked over to the sink and turned on lukewarm water. "Come and put your hand under the water, Liv. It'll make it feel better." She picked up the lid with a hand towel.

"Shit, shit, shit." Liv held her hand under the running water. "I canNOT believe I messed up the boiling water portion of the meal." She was flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"No real harm done, sweetie." Casey measured out the pasta and added it to the boiling water. "Let me see your hand."

Liv turned off the water and shook the water off her hand wincing a little. She gave her hand, palm up, to Casey. "Can't believe I did that. Should've let you cook."

Casey looked at the reddening palm. "It's sweet that you wanted to cook for me. I think it will be just fine...a little sore maybe, but fine." She patted it dry with the hand towel. She brought the palm to her mouth and placed an open mouthed kiss on the tender flesh. "All better. Anything else hurt?"

Liv felt heat build in her chest and spread north and south across her body from the sensation of Casey's mouth on her palm. "I think I've got a big bruise on my ego, but that should heal, too." She closed her eyes and pulled her hand away. "If you trust me to, I have to put the garlic bread in the oven. Have your fingers on 9-1-1."

"I trust you, Liv. Want me to set the table?" Casey offered.

"Sure. The salads are in the fridge." Liv took out the bread and prepared it for the oven.

Casey set the table, poured more wine and a glass of water for each of them. A few minutes later they were enjoying their dinner over light conversation.

"Thank you for dinner, Liv." Casey said as she finished her salad.

"Thank you for everything." Liv smiled. "And thank you for being persistent. For a detective, sometimes I can be pretty thick about the things under my own nose. I was a fool." She reached out and covered Casey's hand with her own. "Such a fool."

"Eh, you can't own that entirely, Liv. It takes two people to make a relationship or not. Assuming of course a relationship is what you want?" She picked at her salad.

"Nope. I'm hoping for tons and tons of meaningless sex. That's why I wanted a younger woman." Liv watched as the momentary horror crossed Casey's face. "I just want to see what all the fuss is about." She took the last sip of her wine and shrugged. "Every movie star in Hollywood is with some chick half his age. So, I figured I'd grab me some young hottie and sample the forbidden fruit." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Keep that up, detective and I'll take my forbidden fruit and go home." She threw a grape tomato at Liv.

Liv ducked too late and it pinged off her head. "That's some arm, sport-o." She rubbed her head.

"So, were you ever planning on answering the question, detective?" Casey asked.

"Which question?" Liv asked innocently.

"The one about whether or not you're looking for a relationship." Casey wasn't going to press the issue, but wanted to probe a little.

"Ah, Casey, I'm not the best at relationships. I think my record is six months. I'm not against them, but that way has brought only heartache in the past. If I find the right situation, yes, sure I am. But actively shopping for a relationship...no." Liv gave a small shake of her head.

Casey nodded and was silent, letting Liv's words sink in. Finally she spoke. "I'll do the dishes and clean up. You should go put something on your hand. Maybe some gauze to keep it clean at least." She stood, crossed over next to Liv and bent to grab her plate. This position made her vulnerable to Olivia's next move.

Olivia snaked her arm around Casey, grabbed her butt and pushed her in to her lap. The plate she was carrying hit the table with a clatter.

Casey's green eyes flashed in surprise. "Liv!"

When she was situated in Liv's lap, Liv put a hand on her thigh and the other on her cheek. "Honey, I am just being honest with you. I want this to work out, really. But you need to know my track record."

"I know your track record. Have you ever dated a woman before?" Casey wanted to know.

"Objection. Relevancy." Liv rubbed her thigh softly through the denim fabric.

"You don't really want to play lawyer games do you?" Casey smirked. "I'm trying to establish pattern and cause. If the witness will answer, I'll make my point quickly, your honor."

"I guess you'd have to define date." Liv's eyes darted around the room.

"Ok...you ask the lady out, if she says yes, there's usually a meal, maybe a movie or event and a good night kiss."

"Then no." Liv grinned up at her a bit wistfully.

"Then I think you've been shopping in the wrong department, detective. It's no wonder you haven't found anything in your size." Casey sifted her fingers through the detective's soft brown hair. She loved how it felt.

"Oh, really? And what's my size?" She held the playful green eyes.

"About 5'10", red hair, smart, funny, sporty...can keep up with you professionally...works in a related field. And I think you mentioned something about being a leg gal." Casey was now massaging Liv's scalp. She lowered her mouth to Liv's ear. "Shall I continue?" She whispered and giggled when it caused Liv to shiver.

"Excellent. I'll take one of those, please." Liv bent her head and nipped at the long column of neck exposed to her. She could smell the vanilla body spray that the lawyer had used after her shower mixing with honeysuckle shampoo.

"For here or to go?" Casey tilted her head back and purred. "We still need to clean up."

"You are under arrest for killing the moment." Liv added teeth to her kisses. "You have the right to remain silent." She scraped her teeth along the column of long, pale throat in front of her.

"GOD! Liv, stop that." Casey's voice was even raspier with desire.

"If you give up that right..." She stuck out her tongue and licked her way back up to just behind her ear. "Everything you say can and will be used against you."

Casey shuddered and Liv pulled back.

Casey bit her bottom lip. "We need to not do that."

"Why not? You seemed to enjoy it." Liv was pleased with herself, being a rookie and all; she was going with her gut.

"Because we need to clean up." Casey slid out of Liv's lap. "And that drives me crazy. And crazy isn't safe right now."

Olivia smirked as she contemplated exactly what "crazy Casey" might be like. "Ok, I won't do that again...until we get cleaned up."

Casey sighed. Her neck had always been particularly sensitive and she knew if Liv continued, her need would escalate quickly. She had to keep her body and libido in check for a while...even if certain parts of her body thought she was a nun.

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	4. Chapter 4

**_Author's Note: Fair warning - Some of that adult content and a few of those adult situations that make this story "M" ahead. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Let me know what you like and especially what you don't like. Thanks for reading and enjoy!_**

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"You want to watch a movie or play a game after?" Liv suggested collecting the salad bowls.

"Sure. Whatever you want, baby." Casey was rinsing the plates and loading the dishwasher.

Olivia giggled. "Baby?"

Casey looked over her shoulder. "Yes. Baby. Got a problem with that?"

Liv thought a moment and shrugged with a grin. "Actually, no."

"Good." Casey threw some dish soap bubbles at her.

Liv brought the pots over from the stove and pressed herself against Casey's back while stacking them in the sink. She placed a short but sensual kiss on the back of Casey's neck. Casey arched back in to the sensation. "That's so amazing."

"Hmmmm, what is?" Casey continued her task.

"Your responsiveness. It's so sexy and satisfying to know that what I'm doing pleases you." She wrapped her hand around Casey's middle and pulled her tighter against her. Casey groaned. "Like that."

Casey sighed and pulled Liv's hand away. "Yeah, women are like that. Now back up and let me finish here...or I'll be forced to show you just how pleased I am."

Liv smiled proudly and walked out to the living room. She was thinking a movie would be a good way to spend some cuddle time with Casey. She was still pawing through DVD's when Casey walked in. "Hey sweetie. What kind of movies do you like?"

Casey walked up behind Liv and placed her head on the shorter woman's shoulder so she could see the selection. "Horror and crime/courtroom drama are out for me...I live it, thank you very much. I'm pretty much a chick flick girl."

"Ok, oddly, me too. Not many people know that, though. I also enjoy historical drama, epics and Mel Brooks comedy." She bent down to get some movies from a lower shelf and accidentally pushed her butt in to Casey.

"Mmmm, I think you should keep all your movies on the bottom shelf." Casey put her hands on Liv's hips and pushed against her.

"Ok, you're as bad as me, now." Liv turned around and handed her some movies.

"You're a bad influence." She looked at the options. "Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Beaches and Flashdance." Casey grinned. "I think I'm in the wrong apartment. I was looking for Detective Olivia Benson. I was expecting you to have an extensive Dirty Harry and Deathwish collection."

Liv blushed and seemed a little shy and nervous. She shrugged. "Got to keep 'em guessing, right?"

"I suppose." The redhead said with a small shake of the head. "How about Flashdance? I haven't seen that one before. I was too young when it came out." Casey teased.

"Shut up!" Liv smacked her arm. "It was 'the' movie to see in high school. Not to mention that afterwards, all the girls started cutting up their clothes." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"You're an enigma. You said you never dated a woman." Casey took the DVD out of the case and handed it to Liv.

Liv popped it in. "You asked a very pointed question. I gave you a correct answer."

"Great, so now I have to develop a line of questioning to get answers out of you?" Casey sat down on the sofa and settled in.

"Hostile witness." Liv took a seat and handed Casey the remote.

"Why are you giving me the remote?" Casey looked confused.

"Oh, you don't want it?" Liv's face registered surprise.

"No, it's your house...your DVD...your remote." Casey tilted her head. "Remote 'control' is a male phenomenon, Liv. I don't need it."

Liv scratched her head. "Oh." She took the remote back. "Sorry."

Casey smiled at the confused woman across from her. "Come here." She patted the sofa next to her.

"Sorry if I do things wrong. I..." She slid tentatively across the sofa in to Casey's arms.

"Stop. You're not doing anything wrong. I happen to know you're a quick study." She kissed her lightly on the lips. "Now that my witness doesn't appear as hostile..."

Olivia snuggled against Casey until her head was resting on her shoulder. "Good thing they don't allow snuggling on the witness stand either."

"Have you ever had romantic feelings for women before me, detective?" Casey whispered.

"Yes, counselor." Liv answered quietly.

"Have you ever acted on those feelings?" She kissed her forehead.

"Never." Liv squeezed her _girlfriend_ tightly.

"I see. And when did you first start having these feelings?" Casey sifted her fingers through the detective's baby soft brown hair

Liv shifted a little. "Do we have to do this now, counselor? Can't I just handle one emotional marathon at a time?"

"Yes, sure. Sorry, Liv. I didn't mean to press." She rubbed Liv's arm and sighed. "Let's watch our movie, ok?"

"Sounds good to me." Liv pressed play.

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Halfway through the movie, Liv noticed Casey wincing and stretching her neck. "Still sore, sweetie?" She brought her hand to the back of Casey's neck.

Casey smiled and nodded.

"Be right back." Liv hopped up and Casey missed the warmth of her immediately. Liv returned with the IcyHot rub and a towel.

"You don't have to do that, Liv." Casey smiled up at the detective.

With a twinkle in her eyes, Liv replied. "I know I don't." She reached out and stroked her cheek. "Now, take off your shirt and lay down."

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls." Casey flushed at the prospect of taking her shirt off in front of Olivia.

"Nah, just the sexy ones." Liv winked. "I'll give you some privacy while you get settled, ok? Just put the towel under you and let me know when you want me to turn around." She turned her back to the redhead.

Casey grinned. "You're such a gentleman." She took a deep breath and removed her softball shirt. She spread the towel on the sofa and lay down. When she was settled, she said. "Ok, the chivalrous Dr. Benson may turn around."

She laughed at being called doctor. Olivia turned around and her breath caught in her throat. She tried to fight it by clearing her throat. "Wow." She sat down on the sofa hip to hip with Casey's prone form. She exhaled forcefully to calm herself down.

"Something wrong, Liv?" Casey was beginning to wonder if this was such a great idea.

"Uh, no. Just wasn't expecting..." Liv fumbled for words. "...you've got really beautiful skin.

Casey blushed and brought her hand to Liv's knee. "Thank you. We don't have to do this. I'll be fine."

Liv shook her head. She rubbed her hands together rapidly to warm them then laid them on Casey's shoulder blades and rubbed a little. "How's that?"

"Nice. Thanks." Casey closed her eyes at the warm, strong hands on her back.

"I'm going to use some ointment on your neck. Is that ok?" Liv asked.

"More than ok." Casey mumbled.

Liv slid up the sofa so she could reach her neck better. She put ointment on her hands and reached over Casey. Her tank top slid up and the bare skin of her stomach brushed Casey's back. Both women gasped at the skin-to-skin contact. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Keep going. This is nice." Casey could feel herself relaxing in to the touch as her skin tingled from more than just the liniment.

Liv responded by laying her hands on Casey's neck and rubbing the ointment in slowly. Once it was rubbed in and absorbed, she rubbed small circles with her thumbs, then up and down with her index finger.

Casey let out a soft groan. "Ahhhhh." She felt the heat from the ointment seep in to her sore neck muscles. She also felt heat where their skin was touching.

"So, I'm doing alright?" Liv grinned.

"Can't talk. Words hard."

"Hmmm, Cave-Casey make two word sentence. Ugh. Liv like." She teased.

Casey only growled in response.

After giving Casey's neck a good amount of attention, she worked her way down Casey's back. She worked around Casey's bra but cursed the thing for being in the way. She was meticulous in her task and Casey seemed to be enjoying it. "Case?"

"Mmmm?" Casey's eyes fluttered open.

"Is that good?" She stilled her hands on Casey's back.

"Yes, thanks."

"I'm going to go wash my hands. Perhaps warming ointment wasn't the best idea for my burn." Liv leaned down and kissed Casey on the cheek.

Casey turned and sat up. "Geez, Liv. I forgot. Does it hurt much?" She grabbed her hand and looked at it.

Olivia thought her eyes might fall out of her head at the sight of the woman in front of her clad from the waist up in only a cream colored bra. She gulped audibly.

"Oh, sorry...forgot." She let go of Liv's hand and grabbed her shirt to cover herself.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm acting like a twelve year old." Liv was embarrassed.

"Do you know that it's actually ok that seeing me in my bra turns you on?" Casey dropped the shirt. "And that knowing that it does makes me feel the same?"

Liv smiled a crooked smile. "It does?"

Casey nodded. "Now, go wash your hand. And cover it up, so you don't forget about it next time."

"Yes ma'am." Olivia now wore a smirk with the knowledge that Casey got warmish feelings from her partial nakedness too. She got up and went to the bathroom.

When Liv walked back in the room, Casey was curled up on the sofa watching the final scene of Flashdance. The woman was dancing for the judges as the music picked up it's beat. "Hey Case...you want anything?"

A mischievous grin crossed the red haired attorney's face. "Care to rephrase?"

Liv's stomach did a flop. "Ugh. Want anything to eat or drink? Coffee? Tea?" Liv stopped herself. She realized she could have read Casey a DD5 and it would have held double entendre at the moment. "I give up."

"Just come over here." Casey patted the sofa. "Let's finish the movie. Must be about over."

Olivia watched the last few minutes of Flashdance with her head in Casey's lap and Casey running her fingers gently through her hair. "This is so nice." Liv mumbled.

"Yes it is." She leaned down and kissed Liv's forehead. "You tired?"

Liv shook her head. "No, just really, really relaxed."

"Good. Baby, can we talk about something?" Casey looked down and held the warm brown eyes.

"If the next sentence out of your mouth is 'It's not you, it's me.' I'm opening my window and hopping out." Liv reached up and touched her soft cheek.

"You should try silly more often. It suits you." She nuzzled the strong yet soft palm.

"Likewise, my stalwart ADA." Liv's thumb brushed the soft, full lips of her...'Friend?? That didn't work anymore. Lover? Girlfriend?'

"Yeah, about that..." Casey kissed the thumb on her lips. "There could be major consequences of us…in a relationship...to both our careers."

"Uh huh. So we do what exactly?" Liv dropped her hand slowly down Casey's arm and entwined their fingers.

"Well, unfortunately, until we know exactly where this is heading, we keep a low profile. Sound reasonable?" Casey bit her bottom lip.

Liv arched her eyebrows. "I guess that makes sense. No need to pull the plug on someone's career if we're only in it for a few hot, sweaty days."

Casey shook her head. "One track mind." She looked at Olivia. If it was possible, she was even more beautiful close up. The small lines that gave the older woman's face character were all a part of what made her who and what she was.

"And what multi-track is your mind on right now, counselor?" Liv couldn't read her.

"You, you and you...oh, and how beautiful you are." Casey smiled lightly. "See? Multi-tasking."

"I see." Liv's cocky half-smile was in full swing. "I'll try to follow your admirable example." She sat up next to Casey and held her face in her hands. "I'm fairly confident this isn't going to be a fling, Casey."

Casey blinked. "I sure hope not." She found the truth in Olivia's eyes and leaned in. She brushed her lips against Olivia's. 'So soft'. She placed her hand on Olivia's chest and was rewarded by the feel of an increasing heartbeat as the kiss deepened.

Olivia's desire for the young redhead was increasing steadily. She wanted to progress to kissing that gorgeous neck, but wasn't sure she should. Things would get heated quickly and she wanted to do things right.

Casey noted Liv's hesitation and pulled back. "You ok?"

Liv nodded. "Just trying to keep the old libido in check is all. Not to mention I don't have the first clue what I'm doing."

"Ok, what?" Casey wasn't sure what Liv was trying to say. "Thing one on your make out session check list should be your libido...no matter who you're making out with."

Liv appreciated Casey's humor. "You know what I mean."

"No, actually. I don't. Care to elaborate?" Casey leaned back on the sofa and waited.

Liv exhaled and chewed on the inside of her mouth. "I don't want to carry things too far, too fast. We've had a roller coaster 24 hours, sweetie. I'm honestly not sure how I'd respond to any intimate situation, given my recent undercover assignment. Never mind the fact that I'm flying blind here..."

Casey nodded. "Ok, I think I understand. But, baby, if what you've done so far is flying blind...I'm in real trouble once you become skilled." She rested her hand on Liv's thigh. "I'm willing to do whatever you're comfortable with. Just tell me."

Liv could see the emotion and caring in the sparkling green eyes. It made her heart melt. "I suppose a little more making out couldn't hurt." She looked down suddenly shy.

Casey laughed out loud. "I suppose not." She began to rub Liv's thigh through the fabric of her flannel pants. "C'mere." She grabbed Liv and pulled back until she was lying on the sofa with the brunette on top of her.

Liv let out a surprised, "Hey!" as she found herself pressed against the length of Casey's body. Her face was inches from her. It was amazing that just the proximity could send her heart racing, increase her breathing and start a stirring between her legs.

Casey wrapped one arm around Liv's waist and the other found the back of her neck. "Kiss me." She closed the distance between them.

Liv groaned at the soft contact of Casey's lips brushing hers. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands and they finally found purchase in Casey's hair.

Casey slowly deepened the kiss, opening her mouth and tasting Liv's lips. She stroked the back of Liv's neck and played with her hair.

Liv was hitting sensory overload. She began to squirm a bit as Casey's tongue traced her lips and softly requested entrance. The movement resulted in her straddling Casey's thigh. Liv moaned in to Casey's mouth.

As Casey's tongue gently explored Liv's mouth, Liv's hips began grinding against the press of Casey's thigh. Casey was only vaguely aware of the fact that she bent her knee to give Liv more friction. She became more aware of it when Liv's own knee found it's way between her legs and pressed in to her. Now it was Casey's turn to moan.

Liv pulled back with smaller kisses and trailed kisses across Casey's jaw and down her neck. "Casey. God, Case...oh my god." She breathed the words against Casey's neck.

"Oh yes. Liv." Liv's hips had begun a rhythm against Casey's thigh of their own volition. By law of physics, her rhythm was causing sweet friction against Casey and before Casey knew it, her hips were matching the steady rhythm.

One of Liv's hands untangled from Casey's hair and found it's way under the hem of her shirt. She was panting against Casey's neck and stroking the soft pale flesh of her stomach under her shirt. "Uuugghhh, Casey. Need."

Liv tossed her head up and her back arched. She was almost at a frantic pace now. Casey grabbed her hips trying to still her. "What, Liv? What do you need?"

Liv could only shake her head. "You...I...I...uuuuhhhhh...god yes..."

Casey could see that Liv was overwhelmed by the new emotions and sensations. She thought it would only complicate things to try to stop now when it appeared as though Liv was already teetering on the brink. She brought her hands under Liv's shirt and pressed the palms against the tight tummy muscles. She felt them clench under her touch.

"Ggggggaaaaaahhhh, yes, yes, yes....Casey....I...I'm..." Liv closed her eyes against the touch and rocked herself against the woman's thigh.

"Shhhhhh, it's ok, Liv. Just let go, baby. It's ok. You need to. I'm right here." Casey gently rubbed the hot flesh of Liv's stomach. She could tell she wouldn't need to provide much in the way of stimulation to push Liv over.

Liv closed her eyes tight. Her fingers dug in to Casey's shoulders. "Casey...how?"

"Just let go. I'll catch you. Do what feels right." Casey loved the look of abandon that came over the brunette's face.

Liv opened her eyes and grabbed Casey's hand from her stomach. She slid it up and over her bra. Casey got the hint. She flicked the hard nipple through the cotton with her thumbnail.

Liv's back arched in to her hands and her hips sped up against Casey's thigh. Moments later, Liv's body began to shake. Casey watched in wonder as Liv's body shuddered, tensed and went limp. Liv collapsed on top of Casey with a muffled moan.

Casey held her tightly and stroked her back. She kissed her hair. "Shhhh, you're ok...I've gotcha."

Liv was still breathing hard. She pressed her face in to the crook of Casey's neck. "Sorry." The words were breathed on to Casey's skin and followed by a gentle cry. Then Liv's shoulders began to move. The cry turned in to sobs and Casey felt her neck soaking with tears.

"Hey, hey. What are you talking about? Don't...Liv?" Casey squeezed her as tightly as she could and rocked her gently. She cursed herself for letting a make-out session get out of hand. Obviously Liv wasn't ready. She prayed she'd done no irreparable harm to the woman who lay sobbing in her arms.

Liv wasn't able to speak and just clung desperately to Casey. She tried to get a hold of herself.

Long moments later, Liv's sobs had ceased. Casey whispered. "Liv? Baby?"

Liv closed her eyes and wiped her tears on her ADA's Sex Crimes jersey. "I'm so sorry, Casey. That was...I'm..."

Casey sighed. "Liv, if you apologize one more time..." Casey paused wanting to say this right. "You've got nothing to be sorry about. What are you apologizing for?"

Liv closed her eyes and felt tears sting and threaten to fall again. "Oh, let's see...humping your leg like a mongrel in heat for starters, then for going to pieces on you afterwards."

"Boy have we got our work cut out for us if you're going to feel bad every time you orgasm. I was there, too, Liv...remember?" She stroked her hair and turned Liv's head to make eye contact. "We weren't exactly reading the newspaper when you..."

"Yes, but how can _that_ be so intense that I lose myself?" Liv's eyes were glassy and showed a hint of fear.

"I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. Liv, you don't have to be naked on a bed with the lights out to be turned on. Sometimes this happens. It's actually a good thing. I'm glad I made you feel good, however briefly." Casey tried to reach those scared brown eyes.

"It was good, better than good actually. And I just felt so much...for you...and I..." Liv swallowed. "I wasn't sure after what…what happened that I'd ever be able to give myself like that again." She held Casey's eyes. "But I just felt so safe."

Casey's eyes began to well up now fully understanding. "Oh God Liv."

The women just held each other for a while. Casey broke the silence. "Baby? As comfy as I am right now...this sofa isn't big enough."

Liv nodded her agreement. She sat up as a thought occurred to her. "Ummm, Casey?"

"Yes?" Casey sat up and stretched.

"Do you need...?" She reached out and gently touched Casey's cheek and let her hand slide down to her neck.

Casey smiled. "Not tonight. Don't worry about me. You're very sweet, though. Let's just get some rest. We've got plenty of time for that." She grabbed Liv's hand and stood up.

"You sure?" Liv stood next to Casey.

Casey nodded, ignoring the fact that her body was still thrumming with need. "Let's just go to bed."

Liv grabbed Casey's hand and pulled them to their feet. "I promise to make it up to you...soon." She kissed her chastely on the lips.

"I'll count on it. Come on." Casey pulled Liv down the hall.

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	5. Chapter 5

**_Special Dedication: *I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this story, chapter and indeed every SVU fic I write to the extremely kind, caring and nurturing soul that is Mariska Hargitay. She gives life to my favorite TV detective of all time, Olivia Benson, and is my hero. The news reports that she has suffered an injury and has been hospitalized with a partially collapsed lung. My heart goes out to her and her family. Best wishes to her for a full and speedy recovery!*_**

**_Author's Note: Warning is given for the description of a sexual assault, hence that M - rating. Flashback is in italics and preceded by "***". As always, feedback is manna and accepted in any way, shape or form. Enjoy!_**

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Liv followed grinning like an idiot for reasons she didn't quite understand. "You're just going to invite yourself in to my bed, huh?" She teased.

"You bet I am. Sofa was nice, but too small to sleep two comfortably and I'm not letting you out of my sight." She walked over to her bag and grabbed her nightclothes. "Be right back."

Liv grabbed her jammies from the hook on the back of the door and changed quickly. She waited outside the bathroom for Casey to finish up. When Casey opened the door, Liv's breath caught in her throat. Casey was wearing a white tank top and flannel boxers that showed more of her legs than Liv had ever been treated to previously.

"Problem?" Casey grinned her face a little red.

Liv nodded. "Too much leg for this old woman's heart." Liv reached down and softly touched Casey's thigh.

Casey laughed. "Uh huh. Go get ready." She brushed by Liv and disappeared down the hall.

When Liv entered the bedroom, Casey was in the chair next to the bed putting lotion on her legs.

Liv groaned. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Casey laughed. "No. I know what the penalty is for killing a police officer in New York." She rubbed the remaining lotion in to her hands and stood up. "So, which side is yours?"

Liv grinned. "The middle."

"Great." Casey walked to the side closest to the door and climbed in.

Liv walked around, stood by the bed, looked at the mattress and froze.

_***It was dark and he was hurting her arm. She knew they weren't going the right way. 'This must be it. This must be where he assaults them.' He grabbed the back of her neck too hard and she cried out._

_"You can make as much noise as you like, bitch. No one can hear you down here but me...and I like it." He shoved her forward. "Now, let's have some fun."_

_She was shoved in to an old cell and there was a mattress on the floor...with blood and other awful stains on it. The vile smell made her stomach lurched._

_"I'll explain the rules. You run or try anything, I shoot you. You play nice, you live. Got it?" His rancid breath was against her ear._

_He pushed her down on to the mattress and she felt his knee in the middle of her back. She wanted to cry out, but didn't want to give him the satisfaction. He uncuffed her hands and legs. "I want you to be able to move around if you know what I mean." He pressed himself against Liv's back and she could feel him. Her stomach turned again._

_Liv nodded. She paused a moment, focused and kicked as hard as she could up and in to his lower abdomen. She scrambled off the mattress and out of the cell. She ran. She ran and hid like a frightened animal...***_

Casey suddenly realized Liv was frozen in place and shaking with tears streaming down her face. "Liv? Dear God. LIV?" Casey sprang out of bed to her side. She reached out to touch her shoulder.

Liv threw an elbow in to Casey's sternum and scrambled across the bed. "Don't touch me! Get away from me, you sick twisted FUCK!" She fled the bedroom running.

Casey couldn't move for a few minutes. The pain in her chest was intense. She struggled for breath as she doubled over. "Liv." She croaked out.

Casey stumbled out of the bedroom and down the hall. Her hand was still rubbing her chest. "Liv? Baby? It's me. It's Casey." She found Liv huddled on the floor next to the sofa, sobbing quietly in to her hands.

"Sorry." Liv was barely able to get the word out.

Casey stood next to her. "Liv...what do you need?"

Liv shook her head and shrugged.

"Ok. Then can I just sit here with you until you know?" Casey asked quietly.

Liv nodded. "I hit you." She broke in to sobs again.

"You didn't mean it, Liv. I know you didn't mean it." Casey slid down to the floor and sat next to Liv.

"God...what's wrong with me? How can I let him get to me like that? He didn't do anything, I swear." Liv still had her head buried in her hands.

"Baby, you were attacked. He beat you. We know he planned to rape you, even if he didn't succeed. That's going to take some time to process. You know Huang will help you." She tentatively put her hand on Liv's arm. "But you've got to talk to him."

Liv nodded and finally made eye contact with Casey. "I want to… Can I…tell you what happened?" She swallowed hard.

Casey wrapped her arms around Liv and held her close. "If you want to, Liv. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

Liv drew a quivering breath. "After he led me down there, he tried to force me in to a cell with a mattress. He uncuffed and unchained me." She spoke to her knees, eyes threatening to spill over with tears. "I kicked him. I got away from him and hid. He finally found me and I ran and I fought again, but he just...he caught me and beat me." Tears stained her cheeks as she began to shake.

"Shhh, I've got you, Liv. You're with me now." Casey kissed the top of her head and squeezed her even tighter. "He can't hurt you or anyone else any more."

"He chained me to the door...both hands. He unzipped his pants and told me that if I bit him, he'd shoot me. He t-t-took himself out and told me to…suck." Liv made a muffled sound in her throat. "It was inches from my mouth when Fin burst in." She sobbed again.

"Oh God Liv...I'll personally nail this bastard's package to the wall." She stroked Liv's back gently and ran her fingers over her bruised cheek. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"Inches, Case." Liv croaked weakly.

Casey held her until she stopped sobbing. "Do you need anything?" Casey whispered.

"Just you." Liv buried herself further in to Casey's comforting warmth.

"You've got me. But we can't sleep here. Let me take you to bed?" Casey asked.

Liv nodded.

Casey practically carried Liv to the bedroom letting her lean on her shoulder. Once in the bedroom, Casey turned out the light and kept Liv in front of her. "Climb in sweetie, I'm right behind you. This is your room. I'm here with you and you are safe." Casey put her hand on Liv's arm and led her in to the bed.

Liv was guided by the warmth next to her. She closed her eyes and let Casey wrap her arms around her. She buried her face in the smell of honeysuckle and vanilla. Tears spilled out again.

Casey kissed Liv's forehead and cheek and tenderly wiped away the tears. "I'm here, Liv and I've got you. Go to sleep. I've got you now." She rubbed her back softly.

Liv mumbled something incoherent against the skin of Casey's neck and fell asleep.

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Liv woke up in the same position as the morning sun beamed through the blinds. She blinked and focused. She was staring at an elbow shaped bruise on Casey's chest. She winced. She leaned forward and kissed it.

Casey stirred as she felt soft lips brush her sternum. "Mmmm, morning." She opened her eyes and saw Olivia staring up at her. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm doing ok, thanks to you. And also thanks to me, you've got a nasty bruise there. I'm sorry." Liv ran her fingers lightly over the bruised flesh.

"You already kissed it and made it better. Don't worry about it, ok?" She brushed her lips against Liv's. "Not guilty by temporary insanity."

"Thank you." She looked in to the playfully bright green eyes. "I'd like to get up and get in. Lots to catch up on and I want to catch Huang early."

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Three weeks later, Liv found herself in the office of Dr. George Huang.

"Have you had any more flashbacks?" Dr. Huang asked from behind his desk.

"Not in a over a week." Liv fidgeted in the chair.

"And the triggers that you were having?"

"Casey and I did the desensitizing exercises that you gave me. It's really working."

"And how are things with you and Casey?" He jotted notes on his pad.

"Good. Great, actually." Liv's face lit up when she spoke of the ADA. She nervously scratched her ear.

"That's great. You mentioned your reservations about a physical relationship in the wake of your assault. Has that come up again?" He skillfully opened his body language to the detective.

"We mutually decided to slow down the physical for a number of reasons. But what we have seems to be going along great. Better than expected." Liv half-smiled.

"Excellent. Have you addressed the conflict of interest presented by the development of a personal relationship between a detective and her prosecutor?" He dropped his pen and leaned in closer.

"Yes, she's looking in to her options. I can't leave SVU." Liv rested her elbows on her knees. "I just…can't."

"Sounds like you've got a plan." He nodded. "Well, I think that about wraps this session up unless you have any questions for me." George smiled broadly. He was impressed with the progress Liv had made.

"No, I actually feel really good about things now. The fact that we were able to put the perp away for rape AND murder helps, too." Liv smiled back.

"Good thing we've got a talented ADA to help prosecute." The doctor added with a twinkle in his intelligent eyes.

"Good thing." Liv winked at him.

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As Liv was walking to her car from Huang's office, her cell rang. "Benson".

"Good afternoon, detective. How did your meeting go?" Casey's voice asked from the other end of the phone.

Liv smiled. "It went well, thanks for asking, counselor." She almost liked the little bit of teasing that came along with keeping a low profile.

"I'm glad it went well. Are we still on for reviewing testimony later?" Casey kept her tone professional.

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Liv laughed. "And if I were to bring some Chianti to this testimony review...would that work?" Liv got in to her car with a sly grin.

"Yes, bring whatever you think would be helpful, detective." Casey chuckled.

"Ok, so I'll be there around 7pm. Wear something pretty." She stuck her tongue out even though she knew Casey couldn't see it.

Casey thought a second. "Don't I always, detective?"

"Yes. Always. See you tonight." Liv shut her phone and drove off.

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"Hey Liv. How you doin'?" Elliott asked when Liv sat down at her desk.

"Not too bad. What have we got going on?" Liv shrugged off her jacket.

"We're getting no where fast on the Downon rape/homicide uptown. Fancy finance types are pretty tight lipped. Munch and Fin are at TARU now going over things." Elliott sat back in his chair. "You got anything?"

"Eh, vic's family didn't know her that well. Wasn't close with the parents in Jersey City, one sister in Queens and an estranged brother in Arkansas. No one that knew her well enough to know who she was or what she was doing uptown at 2am." Liv shuffled some papers. "I'm swinging by the office where she worked after lunch."

"Good. So, things with Huang...going ok?" Elliott treaded lightly. He knew his partner had suffered while undercover at Sealview and was seeking Huang's help.

"Yeah. They are. I'm doing much better. Thanks, El." Liv smiled.

"Good. You sure seem pretty happy these days. I'm thinking new shoes or new boyfriend." Elliott grinned.

"Shut it, Stabler." Liv wadded up a piece of paper and winged it at her partner.

"Children!" Cragen's voice broke the juvenile play. "My office...now."

"Yes cap'n." Both said in unison.

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At 7:05pm Olivia hit the buzzer outside Casey's apartment building. She had a red rose and a bottle of wine with her.

"Hello?" Casey's voice answered from the metal box.

"Hey, it's Liv. Here to review testimony...as promised." Liv rocked back on her feet.

"Come on up." The buzzer squawked and Liv opened the door.

Moments later, Liv knocked on Casey's door. "Special delivery for Miss Novak."

Casey opened the door and laughed. "Just what I ordered. An SVU detective with wine and roses." Casey gestured her in.

"Hey Case." Liv smiled and handed her the wine and rose once she shut the door.

"Thanks, Liv." Casey took the wine bottle, smelled the rose and set them both on a table in the hall. She waited for Liv to take off her jacket and hung it up for her.

"We'll want to open the wine to let it..." Liv's sentence was cut off by her girlfriend claiming her lips in a fiery kiss.

"Good to see you, too, sweetheart." Liv panted against Casey's mouth.

"I missed you this week." Casey grabbed the wine and Liv's hand and headed for the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's been nuts. We can't get anywhere on Downon." Liv dug the corkscrew out of the drawer and took the wine bottle. "No one in her office is talking. The finance industry is not an easy nut to crack." She removed the cork with a pop. "Cragen's ready to transfer it to Major Case."

"I know it's not, baby. Which firm was the victim with again?" Casey was opening foil take-out cartons.

"McHutchin, Donalds and Reich." Liv leaned against Casey from behind and offered her the cork to sniff.

"I know a guy...I'll make some calls." She sniffed and pushed back against Liv. "Mmm, perfect."

"Yeah...and the wine?" Liv nipped at the back of her neck.

Casey spun in her lover's arms. "Hey, One Track, you want to go set the table?" She playfully nipped at Liv's nose.

"You're no fun." Liv pouted and went about setting the table.

"Hey I slaved for a half hour over a hot take out menu for you. Least we can do is eat dinner before you start." Casey grinned and brought the containers to the table.

"You spoil me. Where did we get from?" Liv inhaled deeply the aroma of garlic.

"Guiseppe's." Casey sat down. "Fresh mozzarella with tomato and basil, penne vodka and field greens." She spooned some on to her plate. "And a slice of strawberry cheesecake to split...if you're good."

"Well, it smells great." She grabbed Casey's glass and poured the wine. "And who gets to decide if I'm good enough for dessert?"

"That would be me. So be on your best behavior." Casey winked and sipped her wine.

An hour later, the women were finishing up dessert. "Thanks for letting me have dessert, counselor. I like reviewing testimony with you like this." Liv leaned over and kissed Casey on the lips.

Casey's hand made it's way to the detective's knee and squeezed gently. "Mmmm, me too. Maybe I'll have to change my style with all my detectives."

"Did I mention that I carry a gun?" Liv grabbed the last of the dishes and took them to the sink.

"Oh, I know you carry a gun, detective. _And_ I think it's sexy." Casey drained her wine and brought the glass to Olivia.

"Sexy, huh? I'll file that away for future reference." She rinsed the dessert dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

Casey stood next to Liv letting her imagination run away with her. She bit her bottom lip and sighed. Casey's mind-wanderings were interrupted by the shrill of a cell phone ringing.

"That's me. Sorry." Liv grabbed her cell and flipped it open. "Benson." She dried her hands in the towel. "Shit. Sure. Where? Ok, meet you there."

"You've got to go?" Casey said trying not to let her disappointment show.

"Yeah, I've got to go to a scene. 14-year old girl locked in the bathroom after a birthday party. Possible rape." She reached out and touched Casey's cheek. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"It's ok. Go do your job. I know the drill. Let me know if I can do anything." Casey kissed the detective's cheek and walked her to the door.

"Thanks for dinner. I'll call as soon as I can." She leaned in and gave Casey a soft kiss on the lips. "Bye."

"Bye, Liv." Casey closed the door behind her and smiled wistfully.

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	6. Chapter 6

**_Author's Note - We begin a case here and some description of sexual assault will follow. Enjoy!_**

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When Liv arrived on the scene, two black and whites, a bus and Elliott's car were already there. "Benson, Special Victims." She flashed her badge at the uniform cop by the door. He let her in. Elliot was standing in the hall talking to another officer.

"This is my partner, Detective Benson." Elliot introduced Olivia.

She nodded. "What have we got?" Olivia asked.

"We've got one 14 year old girl, Angelina Fierini, locked in the upstairs bathroom. She's refusing to come out, crying hysterically. Possible assault." Stabler said flipping through his notes.

"Have the parents been notified?" Liv asked.

"We've been unable to contact her parents. Dad's out of town on business and Mom's not answering her cell." Elliot knew that would bother Liv. "There was a party here tonight. Boys and girls were up in the birthday girl's bedroom alone for an hour at least. We've got parents in the kitchen and remaining party guests in the family room."

"Take me to the girl." Olivia said with a shake of her head.

"I'll go grill the parents and guests. See what shakes loose." Stabler took off down the hall.

Olivia followed the uniform up the stairs and down the hall. She heard the girl crying behind the door. "Hi Angelina. My name's Detective Olivia Benson. I'm here to help you. May I come in?"

"GO AWAY!" The girl behind the door screamed.

"Sweetheart, if someone hurt you, I can help. Just let me in. Just me, ok? No one else. We'll just talk. I need to see that you're ok or we'll have to break down the door. I don't want to do that." Liv knocked lightly. "Please, just let me in."

A long minute ticked by and the doorknob slowly turned. "Just you." A weak voice said from behind the door.

"Just me." Liv pushed on the door gently, walked through and closed it behind her. "What happened, Angelina?" She looked the girl up and down. Her face was red and swollen from crying and there appeared to be some bruising under her eye. Some buttons were missing on her shirt and the zipper on her pants was ripped. She could see some traces of blood on the thigh of her jeans.

The girl shrank away from her and slumped between the toilet and the wall. She'd obviously been sick in the toilet at least once. "I...uh..." Her body racked with sobs. "I was...he..."

"Easy. Take your time, sweetheart. I'm just going to come over to you, ok?" Liv crossed in front of the girl and kneeled down. "We need to get you to the hospital. There's an ambulance right outside. I'll stay with you. We can talk more on the way, ok?"

"I-I-I can't leave. They all know what happened." She buried her head. "God."

"We have to let a doctor take a look at you, sweetie. Just trust me, ok?" Liv took off her jacket and draped it over the shaking girl. "Come with me?"

The girl looked at Olivia. She did trust the woman with the gentle face and kind eyes. She wiped her face with her arm and stood up. Olivia helped her.

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In the hallway outside Angelina's room at St. Vincent's Hospital, Olivia paced and waited. She saw Elliott get off the elevator. "Hey. What did you find and where the hell are her parents?"

"Hey. Dad's in Ecuador on business and Mom's still not answering her cell phone. Mom was supposed to be at a business dinner which ended hours ago." Elliott leaned against the wall.

"What the hell? The party was over hours ago, too...she would have been home alone now any way." Liv shook her head.

"She's fourteen, Liv...it's dicey whether she's mature enough to be home alone at night." Stabler shrugged. "Any way...after the cake and ice cream, the kids went upstairs to play video games in Maria's room. It was her 15th birthday party. The parents, Sal and Gloria Pascal, stayed downstairs and cleaned up."

"They let a co-ed group of teenagers go upstairs alone? Perfect. What did the kids say?" Liv leaned on the wall opposite her partner.

"Kids aren't saying anything." Elliott sighed.

"What?! One of their friends gets raped at their party and no one says boo? Give me a break." Liv stuffed her hands in her pockets.

"CSU found an empty coke bottle and the game console hadn't been touched."

"I'm guessing they weren't playing Monopoly, El." Liv rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Clearly not. But what _were_ they doing?" Elliott stood up. "I got a guest list from the Pascal's. The boys had left already. We can't interview them 'til morning."

"I'll stay here until her mom shows up. They're getting ready to do a rape kit now." Liv stood and walked her partner to the elevator. "I'll keep you posted."

"Likewise." Elliot added with a bob of his head. "Have her give you a name, Liv."

Liv nodded, turned and walked back toward the girl's room.

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The doctor emerged from the room. "Detective?"

"What are we dealing with, doctor?" Liv threw out the empty coffee cup in her hand.

"Contusions and abrasions on the thighs, freshly torn hymen and some vaginal bleeding. We did get fluids and hairs. She's pretty shaken up. Any sign of the parents?"

"Damn it. No sign of them yet. I wish I knew what was keeping the mother. Thanks, doctor. Can I see her?" Liv asked.

"Yes, but not too long. She needs to sleep soon." The doctor finished the chart and walked off.

"Hey, sweetie. The doctor said you were very brave. How are you feeling?" Liv asked from the door of the hospital room.

"Embarrassed...and tired. Where's my mom?" The girl nervously adjusted her gown.

"We're trying to find her for you. You've got nothing to be embarrassed about. You did nothing wrong. Whoever did this to you did. Do you remember what happened?" Liv walked over to the bed.

Angelina began to cry. "I really don't. I was forced in the closet and I..." She broke in to sobs.

"Who, sweetheart? Who forced you?" Liv put her arms around the crying girl. "Give me a name and I can protect you. We'll make whoever did this pay."

"I-I-I don't know. It's all a blur." She choked out the words.

"Shhh, it's ok. Why don't you rest, now, ok? I'll stay right here until your mom gets here." Liv plopped in a chair.

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Liv was startled out of a reverie when her cell phone beeped. "Benson." She whispered as she exited the room.

"Yeah, still at the hospital...waiting for the 14 year old vic's mother to materialize." Olivia jammed her hand in to her pocket and checked her watch...it was going on 1am. "I'm here til the mother shows, sweetie...I'll try my best...probably a few hours at the crib...stop worrying...I do this all the time...I know...me too." Liv smiled. "Good night." She felt warm inside just hearing her girlfriend's voice.

As she was replacing her cell phone a tall woman with dark hair came staggering down the hall. "Angel? Angel!!! Where's my baby???"

Liv stood in the doorway. "Mrs. Fierini?"

"Yes, who are you and what is going on? Where's my baby?" The woman wreaked of booze and something else that offended Liv's nose.

"Easy, Mrs. Fierini." Liv placed a hand on her forearm. "Your daughter's going to be ok. I'm Detective Benson of the Special Victims Unit. Your daughter was assaulted at Maria's birthday party."

"Assaulted? What does that mean? What the hell happened?" Her voice was loud and her words slurred a bit.

"Let's go to the lounge for a minute. Angelina's fine and she's sleeping now. Let's get you some coffee and we'll talk." Liv guided the woman by the elbow. 'She's stinking drunk. Her daughter gets raped while she's out tying one on.' She breathed through her anger.

Liv went to the nurse's station and returned to the lounge with a nurse and two cups of coffee. "Mrs. Fierini?" The woman was sound asleep. "Mrs. Fierini?" She shook her slightly.

"Wha? Oh, yes. What happened?" She shook herself awake.

"Your daughter was raped. We don't know a whole lot yet. We haven't interviewed everyone at the party and Angelina doesn't remember much." Liv rubbed the back of her neck.

The woman was sobering up at Liv's words. "Raped? Which of those boys did it? How could Gloria let this happen? What were they doing?" She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

Olivia knelt beside her and patted her shoulder. "We'll figure it all out and we'll make whoever's responsible pay. The good news is that aside from some bruising and tearing she's physically going to be ok. The rest will take time."

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Liv got to the crib a little after 2am. She planned on grabbing a few hours and getting right back on interviewing the party guests. She sat down on a lower cot and unlaced her boots. She unsnapped the cases for her weapon, cuffs and badge and slid them under the pillow.

When she stirred a few hours later, she swore she smelled coffee and felt...lips on the back of her neck? 'Dreaming, obviously.' She blinked her eyes open. 'Nope, definitely lips. Can only be one person.' So she decided to have a little fun. "Melinda, I told you we can't play doctor in the crib any more." She turned with cat like speed and captured Casey's lips with her own.

Casey answered with a muffled chuckle and a firm smack on Liv's hip. "Fine, I'll go see if Doc Warner wants a banana nut muffin and coffee." She nipped Liv's nose and stood up.

Liv checked her watch which read 6:15am. "You shouldn't have come this early. But that's the nicest crib wake-up call I've ever gotten. Thanks."

"And let you starve? I know that by 8am the coffee here at the squad can be eaten with a knife and fork, but it's still not considered a meal." She handed Liv a large foam cup, a wax paper bag and settled on the cot next to her.

"And you're eating what exactly?" Liv ran her fingers through her bed-head and opened the lid of her coffee.

"Breakfast meeting with Donnelly in an hour. I had coffee at home." Casey smiled watching as Liv carefully sipped her coffee.

"Thanks, Case. This was very thoughtful. I promise to thank you properly soon." She placed her hand on Casey's knee just under the hem of her skirt. "Nice skirt." She squeezed gently.

Casey shifted slightly under her touch and her breath hitched. "Cut it out. I have to go." She placed her hand over Liv's. "Kiss me good-bye and call me when you have an idea how your day will play out."

"Yes, ma'am." Liv leaned in and kissed Casey. There was a sound near the door that caused both women to jump nearly spilling the coffee. "Christ! We'll need to talk about things then so we don't get heart failure every time we hear a noise at a door."

"Agreed. Bye, Liv. Have a good day and good luck with the case." Casey got up and walked towards the door.

Liv grinned as she watched her girlfriend from behind. 'Sensible heels, long lean legs disappearing under the skirt of her power suit...and that lovely firm...'

"Try not to burn a hole in my skirt with your eyes, detective." Casey laughed with her hand on the doorknob.

"I hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, counselor. What can I say?" Liv laughed.

"See you later." Casey laughed too as she walked off.

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Olivia slammed the door on their sedan shut with far more force than needed after she got in. "Damn it! Elliot why won't any of these kids talk?"

"Kids are strange, Liv. They don't always play by the same rules as adults. They're worried about fitting in and appearances." Elliot started the car.

"That's different from adults how? I mean those girls are supposed to be her friends. They said she's lying about the assault. They are _all_ hiding something...but what and exactly why?" She slammed her palm on the dashboard.

"We'll get the rape kit back and then we'll be able to compel DNA from the boys. We're not at a dead end, Liv. Relax. Want some breakfast?" Elliot wasn't sure what was under her skin so much about this case.

"I already ate." Liv stared out the window.

"Liar. When did you eat?" Elliot looked concerned.

"When I woke up. In the crib." Liv mumbled absently.

"Uh huh. And what did you eat?" Elliot asked skeptically.

"A banana nut muffin." Liv shouldn't have said she already ate and now she wasn't sure how such a simple statement was going to end.

"The sandman brought you a muffin?" Elliot was confused.

"No." Liv worried the inside of her cheek and tried a subject change. "We can stop if you need something."

"Ok, but if you want to talk about what's really buggin' you, just let me know." They drove in silence the rest of the way back.

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"What have we got people?" Cragen emerged from his office.

Olivia looked up from the file she'd been reviewing. "Perp left fluids and hairs. We've got DNA, obviously no system hits. The 3 suspects are 14 and 15 year old boys."

"CSU has been over the crime scene. Angelina thinks the rape took place in the closet of Maria's room, but she's still having some memory issues." Stabler laced his hands behind his head.

"So how do we get our boys to submit DNA samples?" Cragen asked.

"Well, Cap'n that is the $64,000 question, now isn't it?" Munch snarked.

Just then Casey walked in, briefcase in hand. "John, $64,000 questions are my specialty. You can't compel DNA evidence from a minor. However, you've got probable cause and then some on child endangerment for the Pascals. And, no one heard this from me, but you can threaten all the parents with an obstruction charge if they don't volunteer the boy's DNA. The thought of being arrested themselves might lead at least one set of parents to see the light and produce their son."

Olivia couldn't help the big smile on her face. 'Smart. Sexy. Gonna help us land this punk behind bars before he rapes again or worse.' She sighed and nodded. "Great work, Case. El, let's go shake up some parents."

Casey smirked as Olivia brushed passed her and lightly placed her hand on her forearm. "Go get 'em, detectives."

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"I think we managed to shake a couple of them up pretty good." Elliot said stuffing the last bite of sandwich in his mouth.

Liv picked at her salad. "I still can't believe no one is saying anything."

"Fear not, my friends, I've got answers."

Both Elliot and Liv looked at Munch. Their eyes said...'Here comes another conspiracy theory.'

"Ties to organized crime. The families with children at this party were 'family' if you know what I mean." Munch tossed a file on Olivia's desk. "Taught from a young age to protect each other at all costs."

"Crap." Olivia rubbed her temple. "Makes sense why all of them were too afraid to say one word against the other." She exhaled heavily. "Which leaves me right back at 'crap'."

"Detective Benson?" Liv looked over her shoulder to see a uniform officer leading a skinny young man behind her with a backpack on his shoulder.

"That's me. How can I help you, son?" Liv turned around and walked over to the boy.

"My name is Thomas Sansone. I was at Maria's party. My Mom said I needed to come down here to see you." He shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Thank you, Mrs. Sansone." Elliot said under his breath.

"Why don't we go someplace where we can talk in private, Thomas?" Liv guided the boy to an interview room.

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Once Thomas was seated with a can of Coke and comfortable, Olivia started. "So, what brings you to see me today, Thomas?" She knew if he were here as a suspect, she couldn't question him. She prayed he was here as a witness.

"Ah, my mom said if I didn't come see you and let you take a DNA sample she'd kill me. So, here I am. How do we, ah, ya know, do that?" He flinched a little bit.

"Do you mind if we ask you a couple questions first, Tom?" Elliot asked.

"It's Thomas, sir. I guess I can't stop you from asking me stuff." He played with the tab of his soda can.

Olivia smiled. "Thomas. What happened at the party last night?"

"Nothing. We...we went upstairs to play video games and...and, uh, ya know...hang out." He started nervously bouncing his right leg.

"And exactly what part of you was hanging out, Thomas? Did you rape her? You and your buddies?" Elliot leaned in dangerously. "We'll get your DNA and we'll find out what happened, Tom. What did you guys do, exactly?"

The boy scratched his face and lost a little color. "We played spin the bottle, ok."

Liv nodded. "Did everyone agree on the game?"

Thomas shrugged. "At first, yeah. But James had to be a jerk about it. Had to make it more interesting."

"More interesting, how?" Olivia now sat down across from Thomas and watched him.

He put his hands up. "I shouldn't say any more." Now his left leg started bouncing.

"Detective Stabler, would you mind getting me a soda?" Liv asked.

Elliot pondered the request. Liv was starting to reach this kid and what 14 year-old boy alive wouldn't enjoy a few minutes one on one with his partner. "Sure, Detective Benson. Be right back."

"Look, Thomas, spin the bottle isn't against the law. I was 14 once, too. What made it more interesting? Help me out here. Please." Liv gently pressed. She folded her hands and leaned in.

Thomas exhaled and twiddled his thumbs. He scratched his head.

"You know, I'm a pretty decent judge of character. Whatever happened at that party, I'm guessing wasn't your fault or idea. Guilty men never show up asking to give DNA samples. The only way for us to be sure, to clear you 100% is to find out what did happen. Do you understand?"

The boy bobbed his head.

"I'm also guessing that you are dying to tell what happened. That it's eating you up inside. Just tell me the truth, Thomas. If you're scared of someone or something, we can protect you. Let me help you so we can both help Angelina." Olivia leaned in further, eyes wide. "What do you say?"

Thomas rubbed his eyes and looked down. "We went right to Maria's room. James and Tony immediately suggested Spin The Bottle. Once the girls all agreed, James said he had an idea. So we added 5 minutes in the closet with the spinner."

"I see. So, what happened next?" Olivia twirled the ring on her right hand.

"The girls weren't really up for that. James pissed and moaned and called everyone names like the jerk that he is until everybody agreed just to shut him up." He chewed his thumbnail and bounced both legs.

Olivia looked the boy in the eye. "Did _you_ want to add the 5 minutes in the closet?"

He shook his head. "Seemed lame and a little creepy to me. But James...he's just a jerk. Nobody likes him, really. He's an asshole."

"So did you tell them what you thought?" Olivia asked gently.

Thomas nodded. "That's when he called me an f-ing faggot panty-waste who probably didn't like girls any way and I ought to shut my yap and not spoil the fun for the rest of the group. So I shut up." His hazel eyes clouded over with guilt.

Olivia recognized the look. "Hey, you had the sense to know it was wrong. A little self preservation isn't a bad thing, Thomas."

"Didn't help Angelina though." He took a deep breath. "How is she? Will she be ok?"

"She's going to be ok. But we'll need your help to make sure whoever hurt her gets punished and can't hurt anyone else." Olivia had him and smiled inwardly at the sweet young man before her.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you need."

"Let's start with that DNA sample. I can drive you over to the medical examiner's right now and get it out of the way. Sound good?"

On the way, Olivia had gotten the boy to explain further. The first few turns at the game had gone ok, until James took his turn. He spun Angelina and she refused to go with him. After some teasing and prodding by the group and specifically by James, she went in to the closet with him. They heard sounds, thumps, muffled cries and some grunting. They were too afraid to do or say anything. When James emerged from the closet zipping his pants and out of breath, the girls hid behind himself and Tony while he got his things and left. One by one they all left. By the time Thomas left, the girls were trying to coax Angelina out of the closet.

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	7. Chapter 7

**_Author's Note: Fair warning, there's some more of the adult content that gives my story it's M-rating in the chapter that follows. As always, feedback of any kind is love. Enjoy!_**

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"Thomas, this is Dr. Warner. She is the Medical Examiner. She's going to take your DNA sample." Olivia introduced the boy.

Melinda shook the boy's nervous hand, noting the sweaty palm. "Nice to meet you, Thomas."

"Yeah, so...ah, do you both have to be in the room when I, um, give my sample?" He turned beet red and spoke to his feet.

"Oh, no, no, sweetheart." Olivia's heart went out to the boy as she realized what he was thinking he had to do.

"It's a mouth swab, Thomas. Ever had your throat tested for strep? Same kind of thing, ok?" The doctor explained.

If possible, he blushed even deeper. "Oh. Yeah, sure. Ok."

Dr. Warner took the mouth swab and sealed it in an evidence bag. "All set. See?"

He smiled, the color slowly returning to normal in his face and neck. "Thanks."

"You did great, kiddo." Liv smiled at the boy. "I'll give you a ride home."

"Thanks, Detective Benson."

"Before we go though, would you be willing to tell one other person everything you just told me?" She ushered the boy in to her sedan.

"I guess so. Who?" He stuffed his hands in his coat pocket.

"The assistant district attorney. She's a friend of mine. Once she hears what happened at the party, we can start to put together the case a little more clearly. She's on our side and really here to help you and Angelina." Olivia waited while he buckled up.

"Ok, sure." Thomas said with a small shrug.

Olivia took out her cell and made a call.

"Sex Crimes, Casey Novak."

"Hey Miss Novak." Liv smiled but kept her tone professional. "It's Detective Benson. You got a minute for me and my friend Thomas Sansone?"

"You got him to talk?" Casey asked as she heard her detective's official voice on the other end of her office phone.

"Yes, _we_ did. We're in the neighborhood and we would like to stop by, give his statement. We're maybe 20 minutes out."

"Sounds good. I'll be waiting." Casey heard the phone click off.

"Excellent." Liv snapped her phone shut. "She'll see us when we get there."

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"Thomas, this is my friend, Miss Novak. She's with the District Attorney's office. Just explain everything that happened truthfully and I'll be right here." Liv said.

"Hi Thomas. Nice to meet you." She shook the boys hand but noticed he never took his eyes off Olivia. She grinned. "Please sit."

Thomas smiled and fidgeted nervously before he plopped in a chair.

Half an hour later, Casey had enough from Thomas' statement to compel DNA from James. "Well, thank you, Thomas. That was a big help."

"Yeah, well...just hope it doesn't get me killed, right?" He bounced both legs and chewed his thumb.

"We'll protect you, kiddo. I'll have my boss arrange for someone to watch your house if you like...keep an eye on you." Liv offered assuringly.

"Yeah, sure. I guess." Thomas gave another nervous shrug.

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Liv returned an hour later, having gotten Thomas safely home and arranged for a uniform to watch his house all night and tail him to and from school. She stood in the door before announcing her presence with a light knock. "Hey."

Casey looked up and smiled. "Hey. You think I didn't know you were standing there? Close the door."

Liv walked in and closed the door behind her. "Good work today, counselor." Liv stuffed her hands in her pockets.

"Thanks." Casey rolled her neck. "I try." Her neck gave a small pop.

Liv crossed behind Casey and put her hands on either side of her neck. "Need a hand, Case?" She rubbed gently before Casey could answer.

"God, Liv...that's perfect." Casey closed her eyes and let her chin drop to her chest.

"It's the least I can do since you handed Thomas Sansone to me on a silver platter." She leaned down, moved Casey's thick red locks aside and pressed her lips to the base of her neck. "Smart chicks are hot." She whispered against the tender flesh under her lips.

"Mmmm." Casey squirmed in her seat as her body responded instantly to the touch of Liv's warm, soft lips. "Have mercy, Liv."

"I was actually thinking about that." Liv went back to rubbing Casey's neck. "Why don't we pick up a little Thai, head back to my place and have a little mercy?" She asked the question right next to Casey's ear.

A shiver went down Casey's spine and she wasn't sure if it was attributable to what Liv was saying or how she was saying it. "Really?" Her voice was soft and low.

"Really. I think we're ready. Don't you?" She nuzzled Casey's earlobe playfully.

"Depending on your definition of ready, I've been ready for five years now." Casey purred. She spun around in her chair careful not to knock Liv over, but wanting to see her eyes.

Olivia wasn't sure how else to say it. She leaned forward and looked through the emerald eyes in to Casey's very soul. She reached out her hand and softly brushed Casey's cheek. Her face was inches from Casey's. "I need you and I don't want to wait any more. How about you?"

Casey reached out and put one hand behind Olivia's head. She pulled her the remaining distance until their lips met. Casey didn't speak her answer. She conveyed everything she was thinking and feeling in her kiss. The kiss was hungry, lips, tongue and teeth exploring Olivia's mouth until both women broke the kiss breathless.

Olivia panted and licked her swollen lips. "Is that your way of saying you'll think about it?" She swallowed and leaned her forehead against Casey's.

"You really are a smartass, you know that?" Casey said running her hands through Liv's soft brown hair, massaging her scalp.

"Hmm hmm. So, you want to meet at my place around 8pm?" Liv ran her hand the length of Casey's arm and laced their fingers.

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away." Casey's eyes sparkled. "Can I bring anything?"

Liv smiled broadly. "Wine, if you like."

"Will do." Casey reached up and kissed her again quickly yet soundly. "See you later, baby."

"I'll be counting the seconds." Liv gave her hand one last squeeze. She ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her mouth. From the door she called. "Thanks again, counselor." She sauntered down the hall; her mind racing over images she hoped would play out that night.

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"One last DD-5 and I am gone like the wind." Liv said cheerily.

"Girl, you been practically hummin' or whistlin' since you got back. What is up with that?" Fin asked from his desk.

"Perhaps she's tired of being tired and jaded and trying a new tact." Munch offered.

"Nope, just in a pleasant mood. We are finally getting somewhere on the Fierini case. That Sansone kid really uncorked it for us." Liv smiled but noticed a look Elliot shot her. "What?"

"Ahm, nothing, partner. Just that your usual celebration lasts about five minutes before you look at the stack of open cases on your desk and get back to it." Stabler offered. "Which brings me back to my previous theory of 'new boyfriend or new shoes.'" He smirked.

"Neither, boys. Just in a good mood. Sue me!" She finished clicking away at her last DD-5. She stood up and pulled on her coat. She quickly grabbed the form off the printer and walked it over to the mail drop. "Have a great night, guys!" Liv called over her shoulder as she hurried out.

"You know, government agencies have been known to run tests on certain operatives that make them immune to high stress situations..."

"Save it, Munch. Ain't nobody doin' testing on Olivia. Maybe she's just happy and good for her." Fin went back to work.

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Liv rushed through the door at 7:45pm. She turned the oven to warm and put the aluminum containers inside. She set the table, lit some candles here and there and was headed to her room to change when the buzzer rang.

Liv buzzed Casey in and decided she didn't have enough time to change before she got to the door so she waited.

Casey was about to knock when Liv opened the door. "Hey, beautiful." Liv's eyes were met with a sight to behold. Casey's hair hung softly around her face. She wore a spring sweater in a shade of green that matched her eyes and beige chinos that fit her well. She held a bottle of wine.

"Hey, yourself." Casey loved watching Liv look at her. She bit her bottom lip and did some looking herself. That burgundy button down that she loved was unbuttoned a bit more than she'd remembered earlier in the day. She could see the edge of the white tank top under it that she knew clung to Liv's full breasts. The tails of the shirts disappeared in her snug black slacks that were accented by a black belt with a silver buckle. Casey noticed her detective hadn't even removed her weapon...she was dressed as though she'd just gotten home. "Can I come in?"

Liv nodded. "Especially since what I have planned isn't legal in the hall." She stepped aside and let Casey enter.

"Oh really? Is that why you're still armed and prepared to cuff me?" Casey captured her lips as she slid past her and closed the door.

Liv's right hand fell to her sidearm. "Shit. I never..."

Casey's hand covered hers over the cold steel of the Glock. "S'ok. Just kiss me."

Liv obeyed and pressed her lips to Casey's. Casey mouth was soft and eager and Liv melted in to the kiss. She curled her fingers behind Casey's neck and pulled her closer. The other hand skimmed down her back and came to rest on her hip.

Casey moved to deepen the kiss by tracing Liv's lips with the tip of her tongue. The lips parted and she was welcomed inside. Tongues brushed against each other as Casey's hands worked down Liv's back to her belt. She unsnapped the cuff case as Liv moaned in to her mouth.

Liv focused on soundly kissing the woman she loved. Her fingers had worked their way up from her hip to under the hem of her sweater. That's when she felt the holster for her weapon unsnap. "Casey? Let me get it."

Casey conceded on that point, but had unsnapped Liv's badge and had it in her hands. Her green eyes flashed dangerously as she pulled back slightly, put the leather badge holster in her mouth and went to work on Liv's buckle. She worked the belt out of its loops. It fell to the floor at their feet. Casey stepped back, Liv's badge still hanging in her teeth.

Liv was breathing hard as she placed her weapon on the side table in the hall. "You're killing me."

Casey's tongue could taste the musky, salty leather of the holster. She took the shield from her mouth and kissed it wetly, making sure Olivia was watching as her tongue traced the letters and numbers. Casey finally placed the badge on the table with the other items and grinned at Liv.

"Badge bunny!" Liv teased. "Did you want me to leave the two of you alone?"

Casey shook her head. "No. What I want is you." She grabbed Liv by the shirt collar and pulled her to her firmly. "Really, really badly, Liv." She buried her face in Liv's neck and inhaled deeply the scent that was so distinctly Olivia. Deep rich musk, the ghost of her perfume and the hint of leather from her jacket...the smells that meant Olivia was in a room.

"God, Case, sweetheart...me too. So, much...for so long." Liv buried her face in the soft red hair that smelled of honeysuckle and faintly of vanilla. "I think dinner can wait." She kissed her head and grabbed her hand. Walking slowly backwards she held Casey's gaze as she led them to the bedroom.

Casey stopped them just outside the door. "Are you sure, Liv? If you need to wait, I can wait." Casey's eyes though dark with passion also held concern and if she had to, she could stop for Liv.

Liv's eyes were the color of strong coffee. "I've never, ever been more sure of anything in my life." She brought Casey's hand to the button of her pants. She saw fire flash behind the pools of forest green as fingers slipped the button out of the hole. "Make love to me, Casey Novak. Please."

Casey felt her insides turn to flame and slowly liquefy. The request was one she'd previously heard only in her dreams. "Oh Liv...yes." She undid the zipper of Liv's pants and reached inside. Her fingers curled around the shirt hems and her fingertips brushed against the heated skin underneath causing Liv to inhale sharply. She untucked the shirts and backed Liv in to the bedroom. "You wear too many shirts."

Liv chuckled, but the chuckle was low and throaty. "Is that so?"

"Uh huh. You're dressed for a victory in strip poker...not a night with your girlfriend." She growled as she unbuttoned the burgundy button down.

"I...was running late. I...was about to change...when...uh...my doorbell rang." Liv was incredibly distracted by the hands running up her sides underneath her shirt and coming to rest on her shoulders.

"Excuses." Casey leaned forward and sunk her teeth in to the side of Liv's neck. She nipped just hard enough to cause Liv to yelp.

When Liv came back to her senses, her shirts were on the floor. "You're good."

"I have many skills." She set about laving the area she had just bitten.

"Lucky me." That might have been the last clearly intelligible thing Olivia Benson uttered in the next half hour.

Casey did indeed have many skills and by the time Olivia was naked and writhing beneath her, Liv had no doubt. She couldn't fathom if the sounds she heard herself making were a result of Casey's mouth which stayed focused on applying the right mixture of bites, nips, kisses and licks to her head and neck or her left hand which had teased her dusky nipples to inconceivably hard peaks or her right hand which was slowly, steadily, skillfully, rhythmically coaxing a mind-blowing orgasm out of her very core. Liv had one hand tangled in the soft red locks of Casey's hair and the other tightly gripped her forearm.

Casey felt strong muscles begin to contract around her fingers. She brought her mouth the Liv's ear and whispered. "Yes, baby. That's it. For me...please."

Hearing Casey's voice...that lovely, raspy voice, huskier than usual with desire, Liv could not deny her if she tried. Her body bucked and shook wildly, muscles contracted and relaxed over and over. The magical sounds of Olivia's orgasm filled Casey's ears sweeter than any music ever could.

The next thing Liv remembered after a feeling of spiraling out of control, and then falling was being wrapped securely in soft warmth. Casey's hands gently stroked her back on either side of her spine. Her face was nuzzled in between Casey's breasts. Her body, still struggling to even out it's breath, was coated with a sheen of sweat. "Amazing." She finally breathed out after several minutes.

Casey hummed appreciatively. She kissed the top of Liv's sweaty head. "You certainly seemed to enjoy it."

"Enjoy it? If I could move any of my muscles, I'd look at you indignantly right now. You enjoy a cup of coffee or a meal at a restaurant...or a good movie." Liv spoke in to Casey's chest and it tickled Casey a little. "No ma'am. I did not 'enjoy' that. That was a phenomenal, mind-blowing, out-of-body experience like no other I've had."

"Is that all?" Casey poked her ribs teasingly.

"I don't like you any more." Liv tried to move but failed.

"That's not what you were saying a few minutes ago. I forget exactly how many deities you invoked." Casey hugged her tightly. "Who knew you were a screamer?"

"Nobody." Liv mumbled.

"I find that impossible to believe. At the very least your next door neighbors must..." Casey was surprised when Liv was able to lift her head and silence her with a kiss.

"I don't scream when I'm...uh...having special alone time." Liv flushed.

"And you've NEVER entertained another partner in this bed?" Casey questioned.

"I didn't say that." Liv rolled over on to her back with marked effort and snuggled back in next to Casey.

"Then what are you saying exactly?" Casey knew where this was headed but loved the flush rising on her lover's cheeks.

"I've never screamed with another partner before. No one made me..." She paused trying to find the words. "I've never felt like that for that long...God." Her body shivered as the sense memory returned with a vengeance.

"You're good for a girl's ego." She ran her fingertips up and down Liv's well-defined arm and shoulder.

"I speak only the truth." Liv placed a soft kiss on the top of Casey's chest. "And if you give me another few hours or so, I'll have recovered enough to repay you."

Casey growled. "So much for the allure of the older woman!"

"When I can properly move again...you're in big, big trouble, Novak." Liv now used her teeth on the flesh she could easily reach.

"Promises, promises." Casey was enjoying the moment when they heard pounding on the front door. "Expecting company?"

Liv's brow knit in concern. "No. What the hell?" Liv waited to hear if the pounding continued.

"NYPD! Open up, please ma'am." A voice boomed.

"If that's Elliot I will beat him to death with my bare hands." She scurried out of the room gathering her nightshirt from a hook on the back of the bedroom door.

"Just a second, please!" Liv screamed as she pulled the shirt on. She looked out the peephole and sighed. She opened the door to two uniformed officers standing in the hall. "Good evening, officers. What can I do for you?"

"I'm Officer Evans and this is my partner, Officer Rawels. We had a complaint, ma'am. Your neighbor reported hearing a woman screaming. Is everything alright?"

Liv turned six shades of red and closed her eyes. "Yes, officers. I'm a detective. Olivia Benson, Manhattan SVU. I assure you everything is fine. I was just, uh, entertaining a guest." She ran her hand through what she knew was wildly messed up hair. "I know you have to come in and observe, so, please..." She allowed the officers to enter. She gestured to the hall table where her badge and weapon were sitting.

"Thank you. We'll be brief, detective." Officer Rawels said. "Which of us would you rather spoke with your 'guest'?"

Liv looked down, and then met the hazel eyes of the female officer. "Ah, that would be you." The uniform officer nodded. "Second door on your left."

The officer rapped politely on the bedroom door. "NYPD. May I come in?"

"Yes." Casey said with much annoyance in her voice and the bed sheet pulled up around her.

"Sorry to disturb, ma'am. I'm Officer Rawels. We had a, uh, noise complaint."

Casey's pale skin flushed deep crimson and the blush disappeared underneath the bed sheet covering her delicate sensibilities. "I see."

"Is everything alright here?"

"Well, it was until there was a very unromantic pounding on my girlfriend's door." Casey offered a half-smile to her biting remark. "I'm ADA Casey Novak. Everything is fine here, but your discretion would be much appreciated, Officer."

"Of course. We don't need to name names in our report. Only that we got an all clear. I'm really sorry to have disturbed your evening." She placed a hand on the doorknob, paused and offered. "My girlfriend and I usually play the stereo to, uh, offer some interference." She added with a wink. "Have a good night, Ms. Novak."

"Thank you, Officer." Casey smiled and nodded at the "sister" in blue.

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	8. Chapter 8

**_Author's Note: Further warning, some more adult content ahead and also some description of sexual assault. The lyrics to_ Far Away _are the property of Nickelback and Roadrunner records. No infringement, harm or foul intended and certainly no profit being made. As always, I gratefully accept any and all feedback. Thanks for reading. Enjoy!_**

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Olivia returned to the bedroom a few minutes later with a look of utter horror on her face. "Casey....I..." She met Casey's green eyes which danced with amusement. "You find this funny?"

Casey bobbed her head. "You have to admit, it _is_ pretty funny. And I got to watch you hustle out of the bedroom buck naked, which I'm counting as a bonus."

Liv rubbed her forehead as her frustration with the situation slowly left her. She smiled. "I guess it will make our first time memorable always...not that you didn't have that covered without uniform back up." She started to giggle.

Casey joined Liv in laughing and soon both women were near hysterics. Casey got up and walked over to Olivia. "Want to have dinner and see if we can recapture the moment?" She ran her hand up under Liv's nightshirt.

"Not if you keep that up." Liv wiggled her eyebrows.

Casey placed her hand flat against Liv's tummy and kissed her lips. As she did, Liv's stomach rumbled. "I'd say your stomach answered the question for you." She continued moving her hand up Liv's body and filled her palm with warmth and softness. "Come on." She tugged gently.

"Ok, I seriously never thought in a hundred years I'd be being led around my own apartment, by the breast no less, by a naked, gorgeous, smart, funny, tender sweet young thing." Liv let herself be led to the kitchen.

"The question begged, Detective, is if she's leading you around by the breast...is she really worthy of the title tender sweet young thing?" Casey stuck out her tongue slightly and wiggled her eyebrows.

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The two women ate their dinner with ravenous appetites. They fed each other from chopsticks and drank a couple glasses of wine. When they were finished, Casey stood to clear the dishes.

"You look really, really good in my robe." Liv slipped a hand under the hem of the royal blue satin robe and squeezed a firm butt cheek.

Casey closed her eyes. "I like wearing your robe. Let me finish cleaning up, ok?"

Liv nodded. "I'll put on some music. Meet me in the living room when you're done?"

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As Casey walked in to the living room which now flickered with candlelight, Liv clicked the stereo remote. "May I have this dance, Miss Novak?" She offered her hand.

Casey smiled and took it as the first strains of music began. "Nickleback?"

"Humor me." Liv pulled Casey closer and wrapped her arms around her waist. Casey closed her arms around Liv's upper back and rested her head on a strong shoulder.

_*This time. This place. Misused. Mistakes. Too long, too late. Who was I to make you wait? Just one chance. Just one breath. Just in case there's just one left...*_

They swayed gently to the music and Liv softly sang in Casey's ear.

"Cuz, you know, you know, you know...I love you. I have loved you all along. I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and never go-o. Stop breathin' if I don't see you any more..."

Casey listened to Liv sing the lyrics. She closed her eyes at what Liv was trying to say through the song and held her even tighter.

"On my knees, I'll ask. Last chance for one last dance. Cuz with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all. I'd bleed for us, give anything but I won't give up." Liv's voice was barely a whisper as she sang.

Liv pulled back enough to make Casey look up at her. When she did she saw a look of complete love and understanding. "I love you, Casey. I'm not even sure how long. Maybe always."

"I love you, too, Liv. And always sounds about right." She smiled a sweet contented smile.

Liv kissed the smiling lips of Casey Novak and left the rest of the singing to Nickleback while she made out with her lover.

_*Cuz you know, you know, you know...I love you. I have loved you all along. I miss you. Been far away for far too long. I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and you'll never go-o. Stop breathin' if I don't see you any more._

_(Far away) So far away Been far away for far too long. (Far away) So far away Been far away for far too long._

_But you know, you know, you know. I wanted I wanted you to stay Cuz I needed I need you to say. That I love you. That I have loved you all along. That I forgive you. For being away for far too long. So keep breathin' cuz I'm not leavin' you any more. Believe it. Hold on to me and never let me go. Keep breathin' cuz I'm not leavin' you any more. Believe it. Hold on to me and never let me go Keep breathin'. Hold on to me and never let me go. Keep breathin'. Hold on to me and never let me go.*_

By the time the song ended, Liv had divested them both of their clothing and she was setting about an activity that she had been dying to devote more time too. She was exploring the long, creamy column of neck that haunted her dreams. The mild nibbling she'd been allowed to indulge in before Casey stopped her every time left her more than curious about what it would be like when she didn't have to stop.

Casey was quickly overheating under the ministrations of Liv's mouth on her neck. Never mind what her hands were doing. "Oh God Liv...yeeesss!!!"

"Easy. I don't want to have to chase the cops away a second time." Liv spoke her words in to the notch at the base of Casey's throat. She then swirled her tongue in it and lightly scraped it with her teeth.

"Not responsible." Casey was impressed she put together two words before she threw her head back and moaned loudly.

Liv's hands were firmly rubbing up and down Casey's back. Though Casey was fit, her frame was smaller than Liv's, her shoulders not quite as broad. When both hands landed on her butt, squeezed and pulled her against Liv's hips, her body arched against the pressure.

Liv had kissed, licked and nipped her way back up to Casey's ear. "So responsive. God, you're amazing, Case." She softly kissed her ear and nibbled on the lobe.

"Liv." Casey's fingers dug in to Liv's back and shoulders.

Liv pulled back and looked at Casey. Her eyes were such a deep green that they were almost black in places. "What, Case? Tell me what you need. Anything."

Casey looked deep in to the dark coffee eyes that were promising her anything and for a moment she lost her breath. Such love and passion looking back at her was intense but with a tinge of confusion. "Touch me."

Liv swallowed hard. "Show me?"

Casey took Liv's hand and removed it from her butt, at the same time pushing her hips against Liv. She held the palm to her mouth and licked it from the wrist to the tip of her middle finger, never breaking eye contact. "Like this." She placed Liv's palm against her breast, then repeated the same with her other hand.

Liv gasped as she felt Casey's nipples tighten against her palms. "Oh Casey."

"God Liv, yes." Casey moaned.

Liv's instincts took over once she felt how she could simply take her cues from Casey's body.

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During their lovemaking they managed to get themselves to the bedroom and on to the bed. Liv was studying Casey's naked, sweaty form in the last of the candlelight and moonlight. "You are so beautiful."

"And you are amazing." Casey mumbled from her place face down on the bed.

"Beginner's luck." Liv smirked.

"I'm a dead woman if you ever become skilled." Casey practically purred as Liv began tracing droplets of sweat on her back.

Casey's body shuddered and goose flesh rose. "You like that?" Liv asked. Her voice laced with curiosity. Her lover's body seemed ready for more.

"Uh huh. You _must_ be a detective or something." Casey teased. "Care to conduct a search to see how much?"

"Again? So soon?" Liv sounded surprised that her lover was basically saying she was aroused...and possibly ready for another round of lovemaking.

Casey rolled over. "Another perk of being with women. Less recovery time."

Liv pondered her point. "I like perks." She gazed at Casey's hardening nipples and wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

"Mmmm, yeah, you were quite a fan of those perks." Casey sighed.

"If memory serves, you didn't exactly ignore the perks either." Liv grabbed Casey's hand and placed it on her breast.

"Guilty as charged." Casey massaged the soft flesh in her palm. "So soft and warm and perfect." Her hips bucked involuntarily. "God, I want you again."

"Good because I need you again." Liv leaned down and captured Casey's lips in a heated kiss.

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Liv woke in the night and smiled immediately, eyes still closed. She inhaled deeply and was rewarded by the bouquet that met her olfactory senses: Cool night air, warm vanilla, honeysuckle and the heady scent of her lover's arousal. She took several deep breaths to drink it in fully. She wrapped her arm further around the sleeping redhead and snuggled against her. She opened her eyes and let them travel down the naked form of the sleeping woman.

Her soft red hair was splayed out over the pillow wildly. Her eyes darted back and forth under closed lids. Long lashes brushed the tops of her cheekbones. Her mouth, completely relaxed and lips slightly parted, was drawn up in a look of happy contentment. Her neck...Liv felt her own body react at the thought of how sensitive her neck had turned out to be. Her breasts rose and fell with each even breath. She enjoyed seeing them in a relaxed state. They were beautiful and Liv grinned at the memories those held as well. Her gaze lowered to the pale skin stretched over Casey's tummy. She licked her lips recalling the taste and smooth texture of her midsection. She continued her visual journey downward over the thatch of downy red curls, long lean thighs, strong calves and adorable feet.

She sighed. If her lover were awake, she'd gladly take her again. There was no way she'd wake her, though. The picture before her was too perfect. She feasted her eyes a few more moments. Then she reached down and pulled the covers up over both of them. She slowly drifted off to sleep.

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Liv walked in to the squad room around 7:30am carrying a white bakery box.

"Mornin' sunshine." Fin noted that Liv's feet were hardly touching the ground.

"Morning, Fin. I stopped by Tutino's on my way in. Enjoy." She sat the box down next to the coffee station.

"If there's a Napoleon in there, Liv, I'm proposing marriage." John Munch smiled.

"Thank God I didn't have them toss one in then." Liv snarked with raised brows.

"Tsk, tsk...it's an exclusive club of ex-Mrs. John Munch's...don't knock it." John opened the box and dug through.

"I'll pass, thanks." Liv filled a mug with hot coffee and walked to her desk.

"So, Liv...everything ok?" Elliot looked up at her over a file he was working on.

"Yeah, why?" Liv sipped her coffee.

"The 2-6 reported a noise disturbance last night shortly after 9pm at the residence of one Olivia Benson."

"Which was unfounded and the uniforms wished me a good evening and went on their way." Liv offered mostly truthfully.

"Uh huh." Elliot smirked. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me who's 'piece' you were disturbing, I can't make you. But it hurts that you don't trust me." Elliot grabbed his heart in mock pain.

"Bite me." Liv took off her jacket and hung it over the back of chair.

"Looks like someone already took care of that." Fin offered from his desk his eyes coming to rest on a red mark peaking out from under Liv's shirt.

"Can we please work? I'm about done discussing my personal life." Liv scowled.

"Fine." Elliot pushed some papers over to Liv. "Here's Thomas's official statement. We need to re-interview Angelina today to cross check their stories and then I think Novak will be able to get the warrant for DNA from James."

"Excellent. Let's head over. Angelina's not going to be back at school this week at least." Liv stood up as her phone rang. "Benson, SVU."

"Have y'all tried leaning on Tony? The other boy that was there? If he knows there's a 50/50 chance he'll go down for rape if he don't talk...might inspire him." Fin offered.

"Couldn't hurt. Would you boys mind trying your hand?" Stabler asked.

"If we hurry, we can get him before school starts." Munch grabbed his coat.

"That was Warner. As expected, Thomas's DNA is not a match." Olivia said.

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Olivia rapped lightly on the front door of the brownstone. They saw Angelina peer out the front window. "It's Detectives Benson and Stabler, sweetie. We need to talk to you again." Liv called through the door.

They heard the bolt slide and the door opened. The hollow-eyed girl before them didn't speak.

"Can we come in and ask you a few more questions?" Detective Stabler asked.

She nodded and they entered. She turned and walked in to the living room. They followed. "Is your Mom or Dad home with you?" Liv asked.

"No, they had to work." She sat on the sofa and Liv sat next to her.

"I see. Well, we'll be quick then. Do you remember anything more about that night?" Liv asked quietly.

"We went upstairs to play video games...but we didn't." The girl stared at the floor.

"What _did_ you do?" Elliot asked.

"We played spin the bottle."

"Did everyone agree to that game?" He asked while jotting notes on his pad.

She nodded. "But, ah, James wanted to change the rules...the closet...oh GOD!!!" She began to sob and rock. She dry heaved a little.

Liv put her arm around the girl. "Shhh, it's ok. He can't hurt you any more. Do you remember anything else?"

"I didn't want to go when it was my turn. James is a creep. But they made me...called me a prude." She knit her brows remembering. "Thomas tried to stop it. But they didn't let him...so I went in. God...why didn't I run away?"

"Shhh...Angelina, you couldn't have known what he'd do." Liv smoothed the girl's hair.

"What else do you remember?" Stabler questioned further.

The young girl's eyes looked empty. "Take your time." Liv whispered.

"His hands." She closed her eyes. "They were all over me. He, uh, ripped my clothes and put his hand over my mouth." She collapsed against Olivia. "Then...then...he...oh god."

Olivia cradled the girl in her arms. "It's ok. He can't hurt you, but you have to say what he did and tell us his name. Then we can lock him up and he'll never hurt anyone again."

"He...unzipped his jeans and, ugh, he pulled himself out and pushed himself inside me. It hurt and I screamed but his hand was over my mouth."

"And who was it exactly, Angelina?" Elliot asked his voice calm and even.

"James Marsone."

"Ok, sweetie. You did great. Is there someone we can call to come stay with you? You really shouldn't be alone." Olivia still held the sobbing girl.

"Maybe my grandma...but I don't think she knows about...what happened." Angelina sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Why don't we give her a call together and see if she can come stay til your Mom gets home?" Liv offered.

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Detectives John Munch and Fin Tutuola crossed the playing field at St. Anthony's Catholic School. "Excuse me, coach...Detectives Munch and Tutuola. We need to speak with one of your students."

The coach looked at Munch's badge. "Of course. Who do you need?"

"We're look for a Tony Mancini. Where can we find him?" Fin asked.

"He's the one on the far side with his sweater untucked. Mancini! Front and center, son." As the coach yelled, Tony looked like he might bolt.

"I wouldn't, boss. Innocent men don't run, right?" Fin called to him.

The boy swallowed hard but stayed put. "What do you guys want? My Dad said you can't touch me without a lawyer."

"Father knows best...but we ain't touchin' ya, Tony. We wanna ask you some questions." Fin got up in the boy's face. "And for that, Poppa and lawyer can be absent."

"You cooperate, Tony, my friend, we'll ask 'em right here. If not, I can walk you off in front of your friends in cuffs. What'll it be?" Munch's face held no humor.

"Fine. What?"

"Atta boy. Tell us what happened the night of the party. We know about spin the bottle...and the closet. Tell the truth and you don't go to jail. Keep up the silent treatment and the lies...and the whole group of you goes down." Fin glared.

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	9. Chapter 9

**_Author's Note: I'll be brief...remember Alex? I promise closure. Feedback...pretty please with sugar on top? Enjoy!_**

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"Don, the best I can do without DNA evidence on the other party-goers is, and it is stretching, reckless endangerment." Casey sat in Captain Cragen's office.

"I appreciate that, Casey, but we've got the mob silencing these kids...not just uncooperative parents and scared teenagers. What can we do?" Don asked his brows knit with concern.

John Munch knocked on the door as he opened it. "Call me Santa, Captain, Miss Novak."

Both Casey and Don looked at John expectantly. Don finally spoke. "Well?"

"I just dropped off Tony Mancini's mouth swab at the lab."

"If it doesn't match that has to be enough for a warrant on James...right?" The Captain asked.

"We've got two witnesses that put him in the closet and 6 witnesses that put him in the bedroom. If we eliminate the other two males, I think Petrovski will see the light, gentlemen. Call me the second you get the results." Casey stood.

"Will do, Casey. Thank you." The captain smiled appreciatively.

Casey walked out in time to see Benson and Stabler entering the squad. "Any luck with Angelina?"

"Yup, she gave up James finally." Olivia smiled as she noticed Casey looking over her shoulder and not quite in the eye. "We've got to compare statements and handle some paperwork, but hopefully we'll have enough for a warrant today."

"Excellent. Lunch?" Casey asked off-handedly.

Liv shook her head. "I don't think so. My ADA's a stickler. If we want that warrant by this afternoon..."

"Sticklers can be a pain in the ass." She smiled. "Don't forget that you need to eat though."

"Yes, mom." Liv grinned and walked the ADA to the door.

"Play nice and keep me on speed dial." Casey walked out.

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By 2:30pm, the case was looking pretty good and Liv's mind wandered to the previous evening. She sat lost in a daydream of the senses.

"Warner's got no match on Tony." Stabler clicked his phone shut. "I'll call Novak and get our warrant."

"And then I'm going to dance naked on Liv's desk." Munch added to demonstrate Liv's mental absence.

"For the love of God, snap out of it." Fin shouted and snapped his fingers. "Liv!"

"What?" Liv said barely noticing her colleagues.

"We know you probably didn't get much sleep last night...what with violating those pesky noise ordinances, but could you wake the hell up?" Stabler needled.

Liv rolled her eyes as her desk phone rang. "Special Victims, Benson. Oh no. When? We're on our way." Liv grabbed her coat. Elliot instinctively grabbed his and followed his partner. "Someone worked Thomas over pretty good. They found him at the school yard, unconscious."

"Shit." Was Elliot's one word editorial.

---------------------------------

"Benson, Stabler Special Victims. What happened?" Liv asked the uniform standing at the scene.

"Sister Kathryn called 911. Boy, 14, Thomas Sansone was beaten up pretty badly. Left in a bus about 5 minutes ago for St. Vincent's."

"Where's Sister Kathryn?" Elliot asked and the uniform pointed her out.

"The nun's all you, Stabler. They give me the creeps, except Sister Peg." Liv quipped.

Elliot approached the nun. "Sister? Detective Elliot Stabler. Can you tell us what happened exactly?"

"Excuse me, a moment." Liv grabbed her cell and turned away.

"Sex Crimes, Novak." The voice answered.

"Hi Case, it's Liv."

"Hi baby. Everything ok?"

"Not really. We're at St. Anthony's...somebody put a beating on Thomas Sansone. How's that warrant coming along?" Liv ran her fingers through her shaggy bangs.

"Can we link James to this at all?" Casey tapped her pen on her legal pad.

"We're still working that out. If we get anything concrete we'll let you know. And call Munch if that warrant turns up."

"I'm hoping to get a signature soon. You know I will. And, hey, Liv?" Casey said in a quieter voice.

"Yeah?" Liv raised an eyebrow.

"Would you like to have dinner tonight?" Casey asked hopefully.

"Depends...you buying?" Liv teased.

"Depends...you putting out?" Casey gave it right back.

"Touché." Liv blushed slightly. "I'll call later to set a time."

"Who was that?"

Liv turned to see Elliot standing right behind her. "That was Novak. No warrant yet."

"But drinks later?" Elliot's face tilted with a raised eyebrow.

"What did the nun say?" Liv said as she put her phone away.

"The nun said my partner should tell me the truth." He grinned and softened his expression slightly with a head bob.

"You know, I really doubt that. What does she know about Thomas?" Liv tried to get back to the work at hand.

"One of the younger kids found him while he was playing hide-n-seek. She's the first grade teacher. And why wouldn't a nun advocate the truth?" Elliot wasn't giving up.

"Ok, I guess we should head to St. Vincent's and see how Thomas is." Liv crossed her arms and pursed her lips when Elliot made no move. "Trust me, Elliot, Sister Kathryn would rather not know and for right now...neither would you."

Elliot started walking towards the sedan. "Funny you should ask me to _trust_you. I'm gonna stick around here...canvas the area see if any of the first graders saw anyone and chat up CSU." He held the keys out for Liv.

"El, come on. You know I'd tell you if I could. Soon, ok?" She took the keys from her partner. "I'll call you from the hospital."

"You bet. Just so you know, I'm the partner who shuts people out and hides personal things...not you. If you start then...well, then we're just another Munch and Fin." He patted the hood and walked back to the schoolyard.

Liv chuckled and got in the car. She sighed heavily.

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"Detective Benson, SVU, doctor. How's Thomas doing?"

"He's stable, but still unconscious. There's obvious trauma to the head and back, severe concussion, some broken ribs...multiple contusions and lacerations. There's an obvious foot print shaped contusion on his back."

"We'll need pictures and forensics for CSU." Liv rubbed her forehead. "Any sign of the mother?"

"Of course. Contacted but thus far mother is a no show." The doctor walked off with a nod.

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"What is with the lab? For Christ sakes! We've got evidence piling up outside their door and no warrant to speak of and a violent rapist sitting somewhere sipping soda pop and playing video games. Damn it!" Liv punched her own hand.

"Easy, Liv. You know Warner is working as fast as she can and so is CSU. If we don't get anything today...you know we'll have it tomorrow. It's 5:30pm any way." Elliot stood up and walked over to Liv.

She exhaled. "I know. I know. It's just Angelina seemed so broken today. And Thomas is such a sweet kid. The only one in the group who did the right thing."

He leaned down and spoke softly. "Your mystery companion...make a call and go have dinner. Munch and Tutuola are catching tonight and I can stay for a while just in case anything breaks."

Liv rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand. "I guess I need some air or something. You sure?"

"Yes. How many times have you covered my ass, Liv? Go." Elliot handed her her coat.

"Thanks, El." She stood and took her coat. "You want to get coffee in the morning?"

"Yeah. Let's do that. 6am, Tutino's?" Elliot waited for Liv to nod. "Now go." He smiled as Liv walked out of the squad. "And give my regards to the ADA." He added under his breath.

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"This is a little more upscale than usual, Case. What's the occasion?" Liv smiled across the table from her girlfriend.

"I actually have some news to share. I heard back from Mitchell, Dunn and Solman. Ethan says I've got the job if I want it." Casey folded her hands, raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"Wow, sweetie! That's great. Congratulations." Liv reached across and squeezed her hands. She hoped she seemed supportive, but until that very moment, the consequences of Casey leaving SVU hadn't fully hit her.

"Ok, then why do you look like you're going to throw up?" Casey asked with a tilt of her head and a half smile.

Liv swallowed hard. "I guess it just hit me that this means you're really leaving the unit. The detective in me knows what a lose that is and is rebelling."

"Well, I think I'm flattered. I know I got a little queasy myself thinking about walking in to Donnelly's office and resigning." The waiter walked over with their wine and poured.

"To you, Casey. The DA's lose is the sadly the white collar SEC offender's gain." Liv raised her glass.

"To us, baby. To a new beginning." Casey clinked glasses and sipped the fragrant liquid.

As the waiter brought over their foie gras appetizer, Liv's cell rang. "Sorry. Hey El, what's up?"

"What's going on?" Casey asked as Liv snapped her phone shut.

"I need to compel a warrant from my favorite ADA. CSU matched a boot print to a $750 leather hiking boot. The lab boys earned their wage tonight. There's only one shop in the city that sells them and guess whose Dad shops there?"

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Elliot pounded on the door of the brownstone. "NYPD. Open up."

The door opened revealing a dark haired woman with a confused look. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is a warrant to search the premises. Please stand aside." Liv handed the warrant to the woman.

"You can't do this. Marcus!" She yelled.

"A judge says we can. Please." Liv pushed past her and led a CSU team upstairs. "Is James here?"

"What's going on here? I'm calling my lawyer." Marcus Marsone entered the hall.

"That's actually a good idea. You're gonna need one." Stabler nodded and followed.

Liv walked down the hall and spied a closed bedroom door. She tried the knob and found it locked. She pounded on the door, stood back and kicked it in.

James looked up from his computer with wide eyes. "What the fu...?" His pants were open.

"Hands up and step away from your computer there, champ!" Elliot ordered.

He did as he was told. It was quite obvious what the boy had been doing.

"Check it out, Liv. Young James here is viewing an educational porn site all about rape." Elliot said as he approached the young man.

"Huh. Not the joystick I bet your folks thought you were up here playing with." Liv quipped. "Zip up, James. I think you're in for a long night." Liv got in his face. "Word to the wise. If you're going to go thumping around on witnesses to your crimes, buy a pair of $19.95 kicks from Valu-Mart...harder to trace."

"Screw you, bitch." James spat at Liv.

"Seems like someone has a problem with women. S'ok, there's only guys where you're headed and they're going to _love_ you." Liv's face was calm and she backed off.

Forty-five minutes later, CSU had found a bloody boot in James closet and clothes in his hamper from the night of the rape.

Liv read him his rights as Elliot cuffed him. "James Marsone, you are under arrest for the assault of Thomas Sansone and the rape of Angelina Fierini. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney."

"Mr. and Mrs. Marsone, I suggest you and your attorney meet us down at the station." Elliot nodded to the parents and led the boy out.

"If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I've explained them to you?" Liv continued as she led the boy to the back of the squad car.

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At around midnight, Liv turned the key in her door. She was surprised to see a light on in the living room, but no one there. "Case?"

Further investigation revealed her girlfriend curled up asleep on the bed with a file spread out neatly over her lap. Liv smiled from the door. She gathered the file contents and replaced them in the file folder. She was still fully clothed. Liv walked over. "Sweetie?" She kissed her forehead and the woman stirred.

"Liv?" Casey asked her voice rough with sleep and her eyes still closed. "How'd it go?"

"Jackpot. The kid lawyered up right away though, but by morning it should all be over but the shouting. Did you bring something to sleep in?" Liv undid the buttons of her deep red button-down.

Casey opened her eyes for the first time. "Nope...was hoping not to need them."

Liv groaned. "Sorry about that. I'll make it up to you soon. We really should sleep though. It's late and I want to be there early. Our ADA will want to be there, too."

"She probably should...especially since you describe her as a stickler." Casey teased.

"Yeah, but she's got great legs so she gets a lot of wiggle room." Liv worked on the buckle of her pants.

"Is that the secret?" Casey grinned. She watched carefully as Liv stripped in the moonlight back-lit by the fluorescent hall light. "Too bad I don't have my roll of singles handy." She made no secret of enjoying the show.

"Uh huh. You going to sleep in every stitch of clothing you've got on? Cuz I'm sure not." Liv kicked off her boots and slid her pants down her legs.

Both women stripped naked and Liv crawled in bed with Casey. She snuggled up behind her, buried her face in her neck and draped an arm over her waist. "Night sweetheart." She whispered.

"Goodnight indeed." Casey's last thoughts as sleep claimed her again were 'warm, soft, safe...good.'

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"Good morning, El." Liv walked over to the table in the small coffee shop.

"Morning, partner. I took the liberty." He handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." She smirked.

"So, you want to tell me which canary is responsible for the grin on this Cheshire cat?" Elliot stirred his coffee.

Liv shook her head. "You're a detective. Who do you think?"

"I think you and Casey finally took your blinders off and figured things out. That's what I think. You want anything to eat? I recommend the bear claw." He sucked the end of the stir stick.

"Bear claw sounds good. You're a good detective." Liv flattered.

"This doesn't speak to my skill as a detective. It has to do with my having two eyes. Oh and ears. You practically pant every time she perches on your desk." Elliot took a bite of his bear claw.

Liv flushed. "That obvious, huh?"

"What, about a year now?" Elliot offered with a smile and a shrug.

"And you never said a word?" Liv wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"What was I supposed to say, Liv? 'Saw you caught an eyeful this morning when Novak draped herself over your desk like a torch singer over a piano.' Or 'When are you going to realize that the reason you go through guys like Kleenex is because you're gay?' Didn't seem appropriate." He licked his fingers.

"Christ..._you_ picked up on the signals she was sending?" Liv stirred her coffee.

"Liv, aliens on Pluto picked up on her signals." He wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"I'm a freaking idiot." Liv tossed her stir stick aside with more force than needed.

"Naw. Just a little thick on certain things...like your personal happiness and well being." Elliot took a sip of his coffee. "Know that Kathy is gonna be _thrilled_."

"KATHY?" Liv choked on her coffee.

"Oh yeah. She's got this great 'gaydar', apparently. Her best friend from college is gay. You've been a blip on her scope since she met you. I defended your honor at first but then it became obvious." He gestured with his hands.

"OBVIOUS?" Liv didn't know what to say. "When was it _obvious_???"

"Ok, maybe obvious was a poor choice." Elliot looked at Liv's face, sorry for his choice of words.

Liv looked around the coffee shop silently.

Elliot tried to explain to his partner gently. "Not to...dredge up the past partner, but you do know you were Alex's favorite, right?" He tilted his head and chewed his stir stick.

"Ok, let's hold our freaking horses here. Back up. Alex?" She gulped her coffee desperately as the waitress brought her bear claw. She hadn't thought about Alex in a long time. They'd been close...as close as the job would let you get. She nibbled the bear claw.

"Yes. Alex." Elliot looked her square in the eye. "She, at the _very_ least, had a crush on you the size of Manhattan. You seemed to lap it up nonchalantly." He scratched his nose.

Liv just sat struck dumb and numb by the comment. She worried her bottom lip. Her mind flooded with images and memories from deeply buried parts of her mind, heart and soul: She and Alex working late. Alex tossing her head back and laughing. Alex perching on her desk. Alex catching her eye in court behind those dark rimmed glasses. Alex's face moments before she climbed in to that God-forsaken black Suburban. Alex's face when she had returned for the Connor trial. The night that she and Alex stayed up talking in the hotel. A brush of hands here, a touch on the shoulder there. A time she'd heard Alex make a sound that was practically a moan when Liv had placed her hand on the small of her back to usher her through a mob of angry reporters outside the courthouse. How Alex had just neglected to return her calls after she'd finally returned to the city for good as Bureau Chief. She felt more than a little nauseous and she dropped her bear claw.

"Liv? You're looking a little green around the gills. You ok, kid?" Elliot was a little worried as the color suddenly drained from his partner's face.

"Oh God, El. No wonder Alex won't even speak to me. I'm such a fucking idiot. Excuse me." Liv got up and ran out.

"Liv...wait up!" Elliot tried in vain to tail his partner but she lost him in the morning rush.

Liv found a bench in the park. She sat with her head in her hands and her eyes clamped shut for a long time. Tears wouldn't come. It seemed as though she had no right to them any way. She shook her head and fought back another wave of nausea. She took a couple deep breaths and looked at her watch.

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	10. Chapter 10

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A few minutes later she paused outside an oak door. Her eyes read the name. "Bureau Chief: Alexandra Cabot." Olivia listened. She knew that Alex was in her office and alone. She closed her eyes and held her breath. She knocked.

"Come in." Alex said and looked up as the door swung open. "You're early Rich...Olivia?" Through her dark rimmed glasses her glacier blue eyes met familiar dark brown ones with shock and surprise.

Liv exhaled and gave a half-smile. "Hey Alex. Good morning."

"Good morning, Olivia. Is there something I can help you with at the crack of dawn?" Her voice held an icy edge that Olivia didn't like but knew she deserved.

Olivia was paralyzed with fear and doubt. "I was...in the neighborhood. I know how busy you are, but wanted to say hi." She stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Well, hi." Alex took her glasses off and placed them on top of the file she'd been reading. She tapped her pen on her legal pad. "Do you plan on coming in or just loitering in my doorway?"

"Right. Sorry about that. I actually wasn't sure I'd be invited in or not." Olivia pursed her lips and looked down.

Alex sighed. "I'm guessing there's a reason you're in my office at nearly 7am fidgeting like a guilty perp. What's on your mind, detective?" Alex placed her glasses back on and gestured to a chair.

"Yeah." Liv bobbed her head. "You know one of those things that seems like a good idea at the time? This was one of them. Now not as much. Sorry to have bothered you. Take care, Alex." She lowered her head and turned to leave.

Alex sighed deeply behind her. "Olivia. Wait." She set her jaw and fixed her posture as Liv stopped. "Close the door and sit. Please." She exhaled forcefully.

Liv stopped and turned around slowly. "Some things never change. I'm still acting like one of your detectives. Heel. Sit. Stay." She smiled a bit.

Alex laughed. "Uh huh. Like I could ever tame your squad. How are things over at the 1-6?"

Liv shrugged, made her way to a chair and sat. "Same. How do you like your new job?"

"Not so new any more. I like it just fine. What's on your mind, Liv?" Alex leaned in and used the familiar of the detective's name for the first time.

"Yeah...my mind. I've just found out about some things and learned some things about myself recently." Liv rubbed her forehead and bit her upper lip. "Any way, some light has been shed on some things that I was keeping in a very, very dark place. Alex, I..." Her voice shook a little as she met the steely blue gaze.

"Dear God, Liv. What's happened?" Alex's expression was genuine concern. "Please?"

Liv tried to steady herself and her voice by gripping the arm of the chair she was sitting in. Her knuckles turned white. "I never meant to hurt you. I was so in the dark and such a fool. You have every right to think I'm the biggest ass in New York, but please know it was pure ignorance and nothing more. You were my..." She choked on her own voice.

"Liv. Stop. Please." Alex shook her head at the revelation. "It's in the past. I...I'm over it. I assume if you're here, you're over it. Let's just move on, ok?" She rubbed both palms together and tried to catch Olivia's eyes.

"No. No more ignorance. No more silence." Liv shook her head. "You were my best friend, Alex. I loved you so much and couldn't put it together. Then as quickly as you were in my life, you were gone, then back then gone again...and now back again, but not in my life. I am so, so sorry. I don't blame you for hating me. That's really all I wanted the chance to say."

Alex blinked back her own tears surprised at how quickly her old emotions surfaced. She knew if she let them fall they wouldn't stop. "You...Yes. It was a two-way street, Liv. I own half of the silence and ignorance. And hate you? Never. There's nothing to apologize for. Further, if you're guilty of anything then so am I."

Liv looked across the desk at the icy blue eyes that she hadn't looked in to for ages. "I lied to you and I lied to myself."

"We both did." Alex saw such deep regret in the brown eyes and gentle face of the woman who used to occupy her thoughts day and night. She stood, exhaled heavily and turned to look out her window. "So, she makes you happy?"

Liv was startled by the change in conversation and shook her head quickly. "What?"

Alex chewed on her upper lip. "You're here because you had an epiphany of some sort. I'm deducing some lucky lady cracked the code that I never could. You came out to your friends and someone must have asked about me. Am I right?" Alex shifted from foot to foot as she posed her theory and inquiry to the streets of Manhattan.

Liv stood up. "Yeah. Brilliant summation." She walked up behind Alex and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Elliot brought it up. Less than an hour ago I thought for sure I was going to boot coffee and bear claw all over the park. Then I came here."

Alex flinched at Olivia's touch and her heart sank. "And you love her?"

Liv removed her hand but stood directly behind Alex. "I do. Please look at me."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. You're in love and I'm..." Alex's sentence was interrupted by a knock at the door. She closed her eyes and turned around. "That's my 7 o'clock. Sorry, Liv. Come in."

Liv turned around to see a tall, good-looking man in a dark suit. He had cropped sandy blonde hair and chiseled features. He was smiling broadly as he pushed the door open and crossed the threshold. "Morning, darling. Oh, sorry. Didn't realize you were with someone."

"Good morning, Richard. It's ok. I was just catching up with an old friend. Richard Metcalf, this is Detective Olivia Benson. Olivia, this is Richard, my fiancé." Alex placed her hands on her desk and watched helplessly as the scene before her unfolded.

"Olivia Benson? _THE_ Olivia Benson?" If possible, he smiled even more deeply and genuinely as he crossed to her and extended his hand. "According to Alex, you're somewhat of a folk hero. It is indeed as much my pleasure as it is my honor, Detective Benson."

Olivia tilted her head and color tinged her cheeks. She looked at Alex and saw some color rise on the tops of her ears as well. "Nice to meet you, Richard." She grabbed his hand and pumped it firmly. "Please call me Olivia."

He placed his left hand over their gripped hands. "Thank you, Olivia. As much as I hate to tear her away, my fiancé found a place for me in her calendar, which doesn't happen every day." He smirked at Alex.

"Watch it, Richard...calendars can be changed." Alex smiled with an air of whimsy.

He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "My sincere apologies, Miss Cabot." He winked charmingly at Olivia. "Maybe you could find some time on your calendar for Olivia? Catch up properly one evening over dinner or drinks?" He clapped his hands together with an air of confidence that he'd had the best idea ever.

"You know that's hard for me with work, Richard." Alex's face held an awkward expression that was not easy to read.

"You work too hard. Have some fun. The two of you finally caught back up with each other...at least try." He walked over to the coat rack to retrieve Alex's blazer.

"Actually, I have to get to the precinct. Call me if you'd like, Alex. It was great seeing you again. Nice meeting you, Richard. Take care." She backed out of the office with her head and heart pounding.

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Casey stood behind the one-way glass outside the interview room watching with the captain. What was unfolding inside was nothing short of spectacle.

"I didn't rape her. We did have sex, ok? But I didn't rape her. She wanted it as much as I did." James' voice was cold and harsh.

"That's about all you're going to get from my client today, detectives. Unless you're willing to discuss a deal, we'll be going." Trevor Langan was about to stand up.

"You didn't rape Angelina? So why then does she say you did? Why then does the evidence support her statement? And why do the eyewitnesses corroborate that you did? And why, oh, why would we give you a deal?" Olivia asked with her hands in the air.

"Because she thought her parents would be angry that she had sex. But trust me, she wanted it." James seemed almost proud.

"I'm getting Liv out of there before she assaults Langan or the boy." Cragen said to his ADA behind the glass. The captain opened the door. "Detective Benson? A word, please."

"What's up Captain?" Liv said once in the observation area.

"Let's give Elliot a chance alone." The captain turned toward the glass.

Liv shrugged and watched.

"So, James, what leads you to believe that she wanted it? What did she say and do? Keep in mind, I was 14 once, too. I know how girls are. Sometimes no means no…sometimes no means try harder." Elliot leaned back and winked.

"She was coming on to me. Sitting in my lap, kissing me, you know." James sniffed cockily.

"I see. Did she ever say she wanted to have sex?" Elliot asked.

"No, but she didn't say she didn't." He clicked his tongue.

"She ever say no?" Elliot knit his brow.

"Sure she did…at first. But she changed her tune pretty quick." James cracked his knuckles and leaned in.

Olivia's fists were clenched. "Yeah, about the time you clamped your hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream you sick piece of..." She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

"Liv...take a break." Her captain was a good and kind man. He nodded at her "A couple minutes, at least."

Liv nodded back. She looked at Casey with frustration etched on her face as she exited.

"Want me to go check on her?" Casey asked.

"No, you should stay and listen to this. That's almost a confession right there." The captain ran his fingers over his chin.

Elliot and Langan exited the room. "Interview's over." Langan said.

"Really? Because he just confessed?" Casey smiled.

"He confessed to consensual sex. Nothing more. And we'll produce witnesses at the party that will testify to her flirting and coming on to my client. Shall we deal now or later, Miss Novak?" Trevor asked as he buttoned up his blazer.

"Mr. Langan, I don't care if Angelina was a pole dancer at the Kit Kat club and gave your client a topless lap-dance. That in no way entitles your client to _rape_ her." Casey held his gaze. "No deal."

Liv walked back in.

"He didn't rape her. Admittedly, it doesn't look great, but she consented." He folded his arms across his chest defiantly.

"Langan, if you are for one second considering arguing that a 14 year-old virgin requested her first time be rough sex in a friend's closet with a boy she didn't even like, you're as twisted as your client." Liv approached Langan with a menacing look. Casey stepped in front of her.

"That's right, counselor. Control your guard dog. We're done here, detectives, counselor." Trevor attempted to leave.

"Your client is still being charged with the assault on Thomas Sansone, Mr. Langan. So, we're far from done here." The captain's tenor stopped Langan in his tracks.

"Then let's get to arraignment swiftly, shall we?" Langan went back in to the room with his client and opened his briefcase.

"Liv, call the hospital and get us an update on Thomas. Better yet, swing by." The captain delegated assignments easily. "Casey, let's work on arraigning James on the assault charge. Elliot, find us another witness who'll testify in case Thomas doesn't wake up in time. Let's get to work, people!"

Casey stopped at Liv's desk on her way out. "Hey."

Liv looked up raw fury still etched on her features. "Hey."

"Would you like a ride to the hospital?" Casey leaned on Liv's desk.

Liv took a deep breath. "Sure. Don't know if I'll be great company."

"I'll take my chances, Liv." Casey smiled at her detective.

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"I just don't get how he can fabricate character testimony. You've seen her, Casey. She's not a loose girl and even if she was...GOD, Langan just makes my skin crawl." Liv tapped her foot.

"Unfortunately, James is innocent until proven guilty and juries are inclined to believe that a crime _wasn't_ committed. And if the defense can in any way suggest that she consented, they will." Casey reasoned.

"I know." Liv closed her eyes and rolled her neck. "It's just we get so close and, and..." Liv growled. "It's good that you're getting out of this."

"Honey, I'll still be here for you." She placed her hand on Liv's knee.

"I just had such a different vision of today." Liv took a deep breath and placed her hand over Casey's.

"I know you did. You want me to come with you to check on Thomas?" Casey asked.

"No." Liv was silent a moment. "Can you pull over here a second?"

"Why? What's wrong?" Casey was concerned as she pulled up to the curb.

"Nothing's wrong. I just...need something." Once they had stopped, Liv leaned over and captured Casey's lips with her own. She curled her fingers behind Casey's neck and held her tightly against her mouth. Casey moaned softly. Liv's tongue traced her lips and then requested entrance.

Casey was surprised by the kiss and it's immediate intensity. She softly brushed her tongue against Liv's and dug her fingers in to Liv's arm and hip. She suckled Liv's tongue briefly then released it and pulled back with a series of increasingly smaller and less intense kisses.

Liv rested her forehead against Casey's as she panted. "See? Just needed something." A sly smile curled at the edges of her mouth. "I feel better already."

"Glad I could help." Casey kissed her lips lightly one last time, put the car back in gear and pulled back in to traffic.

"Here you are, detective. Let me know if there's anything else I can help with." Casey winked as Liv rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for the lift, counselor." Liv closed the door and slapped the hood as she scooted past.

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"I agree with Miss Novak. The defendant is remanded to custody until his trial." Judge Petrovsky banged her gavel and the next case was called before her.

"Nicely done, counselor." Liv smiled from the first row.

"Well, hopefully, this is the first day of the rest of James' life behind bars." Casey smiled back.

"I know the ADA so the chances are good." She winked.

"You're hopeless. Want to grab some dinner?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, actually, I was hoping we could so we can talk." Liv moved her head from side to side.

"Talk, talk? Or just talk?"

"You're a lawyer so I'm not going to answer that. We just, ah, haven't been doing much in the way of 'talking' per se and I think we should. No real big deal, just a little together time of the non-naked variety." Liv held the door for her.

"You sweet talker." Casey wondered what was on her lover's mind. "Can you give me about an hour or so? I need to swing by Liz's office."

"You bet." She waved and walked out.

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"So, how'd it go with Liz?" Olivia asked once they were settled at a table.

"She wasn't surprised. Not happy to see me go, but very understanding. She made a point of saying that I haven't closed any doors and if prosecuting ever seems right again, to give her a call." Casey put down her menu.

"Excellent. So, how will it work with your case load?" Liv broke off a piece of bread.

"I'll prosecute for however long the Marsone case takes, attempt to plead out whatever I can so that by August 1st there's as little in my inbox as possible." Casey dipped a piece of bread in the bowl of olive oil, Parmesan and cracked pepper.

"When will you tell Cragen and the squad?" Liv dipped her bread as well.

"As soon as possible, I guess. But, once word gets out, people will ask why." Casey popped the scrumptious morsel in to her mouth. "How do we want to answer that?"

"How about we go with this: Liv is sooo good in the sack that I agreed to change my career path to be with her. Sound good?" Liv waggled her eyebrows.

Casey shook her head and closed her eyes. "So go with the truth right off the bat? You sure you don't want to break it to them more gently?"

"Let's just take it one step at a time. Which brings me to a conversation Elliot and I had over coffee." Olivia leaned in and gave a shy smile.

"Ah, so Elliot knows. How did he take it?" She speared a cucumber from her salad.

"Funny thing. He guessed it. Mentioned something about aliens on Pluto being able to pick up the signals you were sending me." Liv grinned.

"Uh huh. That's not surprising. My next course of action was a drunken lap dance at O'Malley's. Not sure how you would have been able to read ambiguity in to that...but I know you'd have found a way." Casey grinned back at her lover.

"He mentioned something else." She took a deep breath. "Do you remember that first night you asked me whether or not I'd dated women before?" Liv bit in to a peppericini and took a drink of water.

"I do. I figured we'd come back around to it eventually." Casey wiped her mouth with her napkin and looked at Liv. "So he brought up Alex."

Liv's eyes widened. "Was there an article in The Ledger that I missed?"

"I saw how she looked at you when she came back for the Connor trial. And I saw how you looked at her and how you look when you talk about her. Doesn't take an evil genius to connect the dots, Liv." Her face was honest and open.

"Yeah, well, I felt like a supreme ass. Alex was my friend and when I _finally_ started connecting the dots, it made me sick to my stomach." Liv took another sip of water. "So, I stopped by Alex's office. I haven't even talked to her since she's been back."

Casey nodded. "I understand she's engaged." She ate a little more salad.

"Yeah. Richard something. He's a nice guy. I met him today. I think Alex and I might have a drink or dinner or something. Just get some stuff off our chests. Get the closure that never came thanks to me. There's lots of unfinished business there." Liv folded her hands under her chin and looked at Casey. "You ok with that?"

"With you having dinner with a sort-of ex-girlfriend? Sure, why not?" Casey looked straight in to the warm brown eyes across the table. "She was a part of your life. She meant something to you once. And, as an adult, you get your choice of dining partner every night of the week."

Liv smiled hugely. "You're amazing, you know that?"

The waiter brought their dinners and they passed the rest of the meal in easy conversation.

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	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's note: I'm doing things a little differently here. Let me know what you think. I am grateful for any and all feedback. Enjoy!_**

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The next morning on her way to the hospital to see a recently conscious Thomas Sansone, Liv's cell phone chirped. She flipped it open but didn't recognize the number. "Benson, Special Victims." She opted for her professional tone. She got no answer and checked her phone. 'Hmmm, three full bars.' "Detective Benson, how can I help you?"

"Good morning, Olivia. It's Alex." She managed to not stammer.

"Hey." Olivia couldn't think of anything else to say really.

"I just wanted to apologize for getting interrupted. Seems timing is not our strong suit." Alex smiled faintly.

"You ain't just whistling Dixie, Chief." Liv could hear Alex smile and did the same.

"I think Richard might have made a valid suggestion. My mother used to say, 'Unfinished business never finishes itself.' Would you be free for dinner any time soon?" Alex couldn't believe how silly it seemed to be asking Liv to dinner at this point in time.

Liv seemed to absorb the irony and chuckled. "Yeah, Richard's an idea man. Dinner sounds great. I'm not catching this coming Thursday. Does that work?"

Alex scrolled through her schedule. "I could manage a late dinner Thursday. Say 8pm? Oh, do you need to check with your, uh...does she mind that we..."

"I'm on a pretty long leash, Alex. 8pm on Thursday works for me. Where shall I make a reservation?" Liv pulled in to the parking deck and found a space.

Alex wished she could see the classic smirk she knew Liv was wearing. "That's good to hear. No reservation necessary. I'll cook at my place."

Liv's silence spoke volumes. Finally she managed two words. "Cook? You?"

"Yes. Me. I'm actually not half bad these days. Do you like Middle Eastern cuisine?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess. When did you learn to cook?" Liv killed the engine but stayed in the parked car.

"Witness protection. Not much in the way of exotic food in Mills Church, Wisconsin. If I wanted to eat anything other than Chinese, Italian and bratwurst, I had to learn to make it myself." Alex was impressed by her own nonchalant mention of her time in hiding.

"Oh." Liv winced at the mere mention. "Can I bring anything?"

"You can bring dessert if you like. Not much of a baker." Alex entered the appointment on her Blackberry.

"Great. Um, I don't know where your new place is." Liv got out as the conversation was wrapping up.

"I'll e-mail you my address and cell just in case you get lost. So, I'll see you Thursday then?" Alex grinned at the prospect of cooking for Olivia Benson. Time sure does change everything. The last time they had dined together was...right before she'd been shot and any thought of cooking back then would bring up mention of a late night in Alex's old townhouse reviewing testimony. Liv opened the refrigerator to find nothing but a bottle of ketchup.

"Alex?" Liv had been speaking but Alex had been lost in her thoughts for a moment.

"Sorry, Liv. What did you say?"

"I said that I'd see you Thursday. I guess you got distracted. I'll let you go." Liv stuffed her hand in her pocket as she walked.

"Ok, bye for now." Alex was grinning from ear to ear.

"See ya, Alex."

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"Hey." Olivia walked in the hospital room. "How are you feeling, kiddo?"

Thomas smiled. "Like I was run over by a truck."

"Yeah, you took quite a beating. Glad to see you awake though." Liv sat in a chair by his bed. "Your Mom been by to see you?"

He shook his head. "Nah, way too early for her. Maybe by noon or so."

Liv tilted her head. "Not a morning person?"

"Something like that."

Liv made a note to come back to that. "You up for a few questions?"

"Sure." He shifted to try more of sitting position and winced. "Owww."

"Easy there. Here." She offered him her arm and adjusted the pillows behind him.

"Thanks." The boy blushed a bit. "Hurts to move."

"I bet. Do you remember anything about your attack?" Liv asked moving back to her chair and getting out her notepad and pen.

"I was hit hard on the head from behind. I fell on my face." Thomas took a deep breath. "Last thing I remember is someone saying 'F-ing faggot panty-waste...this should shut his yap for good.'" He shuddered.

"Take your time, sweetheart." Liv encouraged.

"Then I was being kicked, stomped on. Things went dark and I woke up here." He frowned. "I didn't see who attacked me. I wish I did."

"Do you think there was more than one attacker?" Liv asked.

"There were at least two guys. One guy kept his foot on the back of my neck so I couldn't move when the kicking and stomping began." Thomas settled back in to the pillows.

"Ok, thanks, Thomas. You did great. You get some rest." Liv patted his leg as she got up. "I'll be by to check on you later. Let me know if you need anything, ok?"

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Liv bounced back in the squad room. "We've got him. I really think we got him. He used the same insult while he was beating Thomas that he used to chastise him for being against the closet idea the night of the party."

"Remember when Spin the Bottle could have been categorized as an innocent pubescent rite of passage? I believe it's the media images..." Munch was cut off.

"Nobody cares what your bony ass thinks about the media." Fin grumbled.

"That's great, Liv. James is a creepy kid. He's got 'training to be a serial rapist' stamped on his forehead." Chester added from his desk. "Solid work."

"Thanks, guys. Now we wait for trial and hope he's collecting Social Security before he gets another crack at a young girl." Liv smiled.

"Hey, Chester, you and Fin are catching Thursday, right?" Liv tried to ask off-handedly.

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"The Grand Jury indicted on rape 1 and assault with deadly force." Casey announced as she leaned against her desk.

"That's great! Who's my ADA?" Liv crossed and kissed her cheek as her door flew open.

"Casey, may I have a moment?" Liz Donnelly looked at Casey then at Olivia then back to Casey. "I only need her for a moment, Detective Benson." Liz smirked knowingly.

"Sure. Liv, would you excuse us?" Casey blushed as she wondered how much of their interaction Liz witnessed.

"You bet. Anyone need anything?" Liv offered.

"Coffee, please. Liz, anything?" Casey asked of her boss and mentor.

"I'm fine, thank you." Liz smiled as Olivia closed the door behind her. "You seem happy, Casey. That's good."

"Yes, well, I am. Deliriously happy. I'm guessing though you're not here to discuss my mood. How can I help?" Casey offered Liz a seat.

"This Marsone case you're on, your witnesses have enough protection?" Liz sat and crossed her legs.

"I've got one uniform each on the victim and my eyewitnesses." Casey said smoothing her hair.

"I'd offer two at least. Your case for the assault lies in the forensic evidence. Correct?" Liz folded her hands and rested them on her knees.

"Yes, it ties the boot to the attack and the boot to James." Casey offered.

"Then add a detail to whichever expert you plan on calling. The DA's office is willing to spend the money. The ties to organized crime here put everyone at some degree of risk." Liz passed Casey a folder.

"Thanks, Liz. I appreciate the extra support." Casey smiled.

"That Marsone kid needs to go away for a long, long time." Liz smirked.

Casey nodded.

"I was going to suggest a protective detail for yourself, but, unless my observations are off, it seems you've got that covered." Liz winked and stood.

"Yes, well, sorry about that. We don't usually..." Casey looked down.

"All I saw, Casey, was her proximity to you and the fact that she didn't need to ask how you liked your coffee. Let's just say I understand more than you might think." Liz turned and walked toward the door. "Have a good night, Casey."

"Thanks, Liz. You too." Casey was perusing the file Liz handed to her when Olivia walked back in with the coffee.

"Hey, how'd it go with Donnelly?" Olivia sat down and handed the cup to Casey.

"Great. She actually approved further protective detail for me now that we're going to trial." Casey looked at Liv. "She offered for me if I wanted...but said that she thought I had that covered on my own."

"Wait. What?" Liv asked with eyes wide at the implication.

"She figured it out, Liv. No big deal." Casey smiled as she stirred her coffee. "Care to guess at what gave us away?"

"Let me think. Me kissing you when she walked in?" Liv smiled.

"Nope." Casey grinned. "How do I like my coffee?"

"Extra, extra, extra." Liv paused. "Extra cream, extra sugar, extra large." She laughed as she got it.

Casey laughed too. "So, looks like I'm in your protective custody. The people of New York have spoken."

"I see. Do the people of New York think we should wrap up here any time soon?" Liv looked at her watch. "It's getting late."

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Judge Petrovsky's courtroom was crowded as the prosecution presented its case.

"Detective Benson, what was Mr. Marsone doing when you and Detective Stabler entered his room the night of June 2?" Casey asked standing at the prosecution desk.

"He was viewing a pornographic website depicting violent rape while masturbating." Liv spoke clearly and concisely.

"And upon conducting a search that led to discovery of a bloody boot already entered in to evidence as People's exhibit 3C matching the boot print on Thomas Sansone's back, what did you do?" Casey approached slowly.

"Detective Stabler and I arrested and Mirandized him." Detective Benson looked serious and stared straight at James.

"Did Mr. Marsone do or say anything while you were arresting him?" Casey stopped and folded her hands.

"He spat at me and called me a bitch." Olivia spoke directly to the jury.

"Thank you, Detective Benson. Nothing further." Casey returned to her chair. "Your witness, Mr. Langan."

Judge Petrovsky nodded.

"Detective, you testified that James was masturbating. How do you know that?" Langan began as he stood.

"His pants were open and his hands were in his lap under the desk." The detective answered him and nodded.

"Uh huh. So you assumed he was masturbating?" Langan phrased carefully.

"No, he was clearly masturbating." Olivia exuded confidence.

"And how did you draw that conclusion, detective?" Again Langan played the words.

"When my partner, Detective Stabler asked him to stand, no conclusion was needed."

"Nothing further." Langan scowled and took his seat.

Casey paused. "Redirect, your honor?"

Petrovsky nodded.

"Detective Benson, so we're clear, what did you observe once Mr. Marsone stood up?" Casey didn't even stand.

Liv smiled slightly. "In addition to having his pants open, he had a visible erection."

"Thank you, detective. Nothing further." Casey held Liv's eyes briefly.

"You may step down, detective. We are adjourned until 9am tomorrow." The judge tapped her gavel and the courtroom began to clear.

"Nicely done, counselor." Olivia whispered to Casey.

"Likewise, detective." Casey packed her briefcase. "You've got your dinner with Alex tonight, right?"

"Yup. What about you, any plans?" Olivia held the gate for Casey. "Nope, I'm under house arrest."

"I'll take you home and secure the apartment. You're right though. You can't leave once you're in." Olivia smiled.

"Home, huh? Your place _is_ home now, isn't it?" Casey paused and looked at the brunette.

"Yeah, I guess that came out way too easily, huh?" Liv remembered a lesbian joke about bringing a U-haul on the second date and laughed to herself.

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Liv emerged from the bathroom smelling great and looking even better. Her snug-fitting jeans clung to her hips, finished with that famous belt. Her powder blue v-neck sweater with the white undershirt below it revealed just enough of her curves to be tasteful, yet tempting. She was wearing her favorite black boots as well.

"Should I be worried that you leave the house looking and smelling this good to have dinner with an ex?" Casey said after giving her girlfriend the once-over.

Liv raised an eyebrow and thought of disputing Alex's status as an "ex". "Never." She walked over and kissed Casey on the lips. "I'll probably be home late. Don't wait up!" She called teasingly as she walked away.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't." Casey shook her head slightly as she watched Liv leave.

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Liv was feeling a knot of nerves in her stomach as she entered the bakery on the corner. "Hey, Saul. How are you doing tonight?"

"Olivia! Good. Long time. I have your special order right here." The rotund older gentleman grabbed a white baker's box and handed it to Olivia.

"Thanks, Saul. You're the best." She paid cash for the dessert and headed to Alex's new place.

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"Wow." Liv said out loud and made a low whistle as her cab stopped in front of Alex's building. She paid the cabbie and hopped out. A doorman with white gloves held the door for her. "I'm here to see Alexandra Cabot."

"Olivia Benson?" The doorman asked.

"Yes." Liv replied with a small nod.

The doorman escorted her in, paused behind a huge marble topped desk and picked up a phone. "Good evening, Ms. Cabot. Olivia Benson to see you. Yes, ma'am, right away." He hung up and looked at Olivia. "This way please."

Olivia stepped in to a stainless steel elevator with brass trim. The doorman keyed in a code on the keypad, wished her a good night and stepped off the elevator. When the elevator dinged on the 7th floor, Olivia stepped off. She was in a corridor.

One of the French doors swung open to reveal Alex Cabot. She smiled. "Hi Liv. Come on in." Alex was dressed casually too in beige Capris and a sleeveless navy shirt that no doubt was previously worn under a smart wool suit earlier in the day. Her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders and framed her face.

"Hi Alex. This is some place you've got." Liv entered, eyes wide taking it all in.

"Yes, well, between what I'm earning now and what I inherited when Mother passed..."

"Oh, Alex. I didn't think. I'm sorry." Liv could have kicked herself.

"It's ok. Can I take that?" She gestured toward the baker's box.

"Yeah, sure. Hope it's still your favorite." Liv grinned handing over the box.

Alex tilted her head. "It isn't?"

Liv scratched her ear and raised her eyebrow. "Take a look."

"Hang your coat up, if you like. Let's go to the kitchen. If this is what I think it is, it belongs in the frig." Alex waited for Liv and walked to the kitchen.

The aromas that invaded Liv's nose as they approached the kitchen were heavenly. "Smells, great, Alex. Guess your days of offering guests ketchup are over, huh?"

Alex smiled both at the memory and that Olivia remembered. "I believe the proof of the pudding is in the tasting, no?"

"I guess. So, open the box." Liv stood next to Alex.

Alex undid the tape on the box and lifted the lid. A smile spread wide across the blonde's patrician features. "Boston Crème Pie! Yes, still my favorite, but very few know that." She giggled a little.

"Good. I'm glad." Liv enjoyed making the normally serious attorney giggle.

Alex closed the box and put the pie in the frig. "We'll save that for later. So, Liv, before we get too far tonight..."

"Oh boy." Liv teased.

Alex rolled her eyes at Liv. "Seriously, can we set some ground rules? I just have a feeling we're going to be discussing quite a bit and..."

"Yes, Alex. Sure. Name it." Olivia placed her hand on Alex's forearm. "I understand, really and I owe you that, at least."

"I say we keep it simple. Open and honest communication. No fear of judgment. Sound fair?" Alex stepped toward a pot, adjusted the heat under it and stirred.

"Sounds fair. Can I add that we keep what's said tonight in confidence?" Olivia asked taking in the aroma coming from the pot.

"You sure can. So we are agreed, then?" Alex waited for Liv's nod. "Then let me get you a drink." She ushered Liv out of the kitchen to a huge living room, complete with gas fireplace and an amazing view of the city through a glass wall. Alex crossed to the bar. "Let me see if I remember. Maker's Mark, neat?"

Liv smiled. "Perfect."

"Two fingers or three, Liv?" Alex asked from behind the bar.

"Talk about open and honest." Liv immediately chastised herself for going to the gutter with her mind. "Sorry my mind went there. Let's start with two."

Alex blushed a little, but she knew Liv meant no harm. "Your mind was usually in the gutter...just never when it came to me."

"Well, not that I let on, any way." Liv raised her eyebrows and winked. "So, if memory serves, Alex...you'll be shaking yourself a Kettle One martini...dirty, extra olives. Am I right?"

"Still my poison." She looked at her watch. "Would you mind mixing it? I'll bring out some starters."

"Sure. I know my way around a bar." Liv went to work behind the bar.

When Alex returned with a tray, the women settled on to the sofa with their drinks. Liv reached over and dipped a triangle of pita in the dip. "Wow. This is fabulous. What is it?"

"Baba ghanouj. I'm glad you like it." Alex sipped her martini. "So, tell me about her."

"Who? Oh, yeah, right." Liv took a long swallow of her drink. "How did you know when I showed up last week that I was with a woman?"

Alex pursed her lips and spoke to the cushion. "Because, Liv, I'd long ago given up the fantasy that you'd knock on my door with that realization about me."

Liv scratched her face. The words stung as she watched Alex's face flinch at the admission. "Alex...I never meant to hurt you. I've caused us both such pain. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea." Liv shifted on the sofa and downed her drink.

"Liv, don't." Alex swallowed hard, sipped her drink then found Liv's brown eyes wide with fear. "The only way to end the pain and hurt we've caused each other is if we face it. Here. Tonight. We've left too much unsaid for too long. I won't try to stop you again if you really want to go. But I wish you wouldn't." She slid the last olive off the skewer and popped it in her mouth.

Liv sat silent for a few minutes just looking in to Alex's eyes, reading her expression. Words were failing her and even if she could find her words, she was certain they'd be wrong or not enough. She slid over until she was a bit closer to Alex and grabbed her hand. "I want to be here...for you." Liv's voice was low and weak when she found it.

"Good." Alex squeezed her hand and again the silence surrounded them. "Music?"

Liv smiled and nodded her agreement.

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	12. Chapter 12

**_Author's Note: I mentioned a dash of A/O. This is however a C/O story...fear not. Thanks for the feedback. Please continue to let me know what you think. I know this is a little different. Enjoy!_**

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"Would you mind fixing us another round of drinks?" Alex stood and crossed to the stereo.

"Yeah, another drink is definitely in order." Liv grabbed their glasses. She took the Maker's Mark and wondered if it was Richard's drink, too.

As Liv poured the drinks, she heard the strains of Diana Krall's _Let's Face The Music and Dance_. She smiled. She handed Alex her drink. "Still a fan of Ms. Krall, I see."

"This is actually the CD you gave me." Alex knew immediately that it was a slip she'd meant to avoid. It was going to merit myriad questions.

"Really?" Liv titled her head and blinked. Alex had piled some more food on Liv's plate and was handing it to her. "How can that be?" Liv was more than curious.

"Open and honest communication...no judgments, right?" Alex blinked nervously.

"Yes. Of course." Liv sat down and sipped her drink, feeling the liquid warming her on the way down.

Alex bit the side of her cheek and color tinged the top of her ears. "Before I left for the program, Agent Hammond said he could send someone to my apartment for a handful of things. Nothing with my name on it, nothing that could tie me to my former life." Alex stopped as her eyes clouded over with the memory.

"Alex, you don't have to do this. I can't imagine what hell that must have been." Olivia regretted her question.

"I had less than fifteen minutes to pick the half dozen items that would come with me when I ran." She took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"Jesus, Alex. Stop." Liv put her plate on the end table and slid over to Alex. She grabbed both of her hands in hers. "I'm sorry for that. So, sorry."

"It was so long ago. You'd think it wouldn't still be so vivid, so raw. I'm the one who's sorry." Her eyes filled with tears and one spilled over and down her cheek. "My foolish pride...it's my fatal flaw."

"Easy, Alex. Here." She handed Alex a napkin.

"I need to finish." She wiped her eyes. "I've never talked about it other than with my therapist, Liv. Please."

"Of course. Just, just take your time. Whatever you need." Liv handed Alex her drink. Both women sipped and took a deep breath.

Alex stared at a spot just beyond Olivia. "I picked the Diana Krall CD, that stupid, ugly stuffed cat you won for me at the PBA fair and the half bottle of Maker's Mark. I had them grab my grandmother's pearls and a few other knick-knacks. I knew I had an old NYPD t-shirt of yours that I hadn't remembered to return, but that couldn't be taken. Too traceable." Alex drew a trembling breath.

"Wow." She took Alex's hand again. "That stuffed cat was _not_ ugly. I hit the bull's-eye fair and square." She smiled and tried to get Alex to look at her. She squeezed her hand.

"You're right, it's not ugly. It's _hideous_. But it was from you." Alex squeezed back. "So, I narrowly miss a stalking charge and you make light of it."

"I, uh, I think it's sweet and I only wish I'd have known. You mean a lot to me, too, Alex. I never said anything because I figured even if there was anything behind our flirting, even if you weren't straight, I was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny." Liv looked at her drink and was surprised by how much was missing. She needed to slow down.

Alex laughed. "Well, I guess there's some solace in knowing that you were as tortured as I was."

"You have no idea. The image of you on that cold street. Your blood on my hands. I felt so helpless. So useless. What kind of detective can't keep someone safe from three feet away?" Liv made a decision to finish her drink quickly. "In the hospital, when they told us you were dead..." Liv stood up and walked over to the windows, her back to Alex. "I wanted to die too." She hung her head. "I spent hours just walking around. Like I was looking for something. Something that I now knew I'd never, ever find."

"Liv, that's why I wanted you to know that I was alive," Alex shifted on the sofa but didn't stand.

"I spent those two days that you were dead to me in hell. I cried until there weren't any more tears. I was numb." Liv turned back around to face a pair of glacier blue eyes wet with tears. "I'd lost you. For real and forever and no more tomorrows or next times. You were gone and you'd never know how I really felt. Ever." Liv buried her face in her hands. "This is too hard." She inhaled deeply and then exhaled. "It's like reading your diary out loud."

"You don't have to, Liv. Let's take a break, ok? I'll go check on dinner." Alex got up and retreated to the kitchen.

Liv stared at the ceiling. She hadn't known what to expect from this evening. That it would be an emotional roller coaster shouldn't have been a surprise. She'd buried everything just as deep, no, deeper than Alex had. She'd had her work, her things, and her friends to help her through it. Alex left with a box of things...half of which were to remind her of Olivia. Liv felt her stomach twist at the thought.

Alex stirred the pot with the green beans, tomato and mint. She opened the oven to check the chicken and rice. She got out the tabouleh salad. She was walking in to ask Olivia what she wanted to drink with dinner when she collided with her in the hall. "Ooomph!" Alex stumbled backwards.

Liv reached out and caught her as she was falling back. "Careful!" She grabbed her around the waist and pulled her upright. "You ok?"

Alex blushed profusely...from embarrassment and Olivia's proximity. "Yeah. I wasn't paying attention. Sorry." Liv's arms were strong and she smelled really good.

Liv released her waist once she was satisfied Alex had her balance back. She slid her hands up Alex's arms and held her shoulders. "You sure you're ok?"

"Yes. Please let me go." She shrugged out of Liv's grip. "What do you want to drink with dinner?"

Liv was confused. She'd only kept her from falling and she didn't know what to make of Alex's reaction. "What do you recommend?"

Alex wouldn't look at her. "I bought a bottle of Lebanese Cabernet Sauvignon, if you want. I also have water, seltzer...full bar."

"Wine sounds good. Alex?" Liv wanted her to look at her.

"What, Liv?" Alex busied herself with the task of getting the wine.

"Did I do something wrong?" Liv pleaded.

Alex closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, not at all. It's me." She dug out the corkscrew and unpeeled the foil on the wine bottle that was on the counter, her back still to Olivia.

"What do you mean? What did you do?" Olivia stuffed her hands in her pockets and leaned against the wall.

"I told myself I was over you. I had moved on. Let by-gones be by-gones." Alex sighed.

"Ok, wait? Did I miss something major? I'm pretty sure I was here the whole time." Olivia really needed to see Alex's face.

"Hmpf. See. It's pretty ridiculous and I know we have a rule, but..."

"God, Alex, WHAT? Please. Just tell me." Liv crossed so she was in front of Alex. "Look at me and just say it, Alex."

"Ok, fine. You want the truth? I'll say it. But once I start, you can't stop me." Alex's eyes flashed with something Liv didn't recognize.

"I'm begging for the truth." Liv took the bottle and corkscrew out of her hand. "Please, Alex." She whispered.

"I guess I'm not as over you as I want to be. Your touch used to be enough to drive me wild. Probably because a touch here and there was all I got. I figured I had moved past that. But just then...when you caught me and I was in your arms..." Alex closed her eyes and shook her head. She took a couple deep breaths. "You still stir the same reaction in me, Liv. God help me."

Liv swallowed audibly. "Oh."

"So it was a double edged sword for me, you see. I'd crave your touch and then never act on what it did to me. And touching you...well, that worked the same way." She leaned against the counter and stroked her forehead with her fingers.

Liv rubbed the back of her neck. "Would it help at all if I said the feeling was mutual...then and now?"

Alex looked up and held the chocolate brown eyes that she'd longed to see staring back at her, telling her she felt the same way. It was what she'd wished for a thousand times. The irony was not wasted on either of them. "I think 'help' is the wrong word." She smiled faintly. "So much for our timing, huh?"

Liv ran her fingers through her hair. "I'll say. Speaking of timing, when do we eat? I refuse to have an emotional breakdown on an empty stomach."

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Halfway through dinner, Alex brought it up again. "So why won't you tell me about your...girlfriend?"

"I guess I can't skirt the question any more, huh? By the way, everything is delicious. You're a great cook." Liv took another bite.

"Thank you. Now stop flattering me and talk."

"And the wine is a perfect compliment." Liv sipped her wine.

"Is she someone I know? Is that it?" Alex pressed playfully.

Liv nodded. "You've met her." She smiled. "Casey Novak."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise then narrowed. "The ADA who replaced me?"

"Yeah. That's the one."

"She's...nice." Alex let it wash over her. "How long?"

"A little over a month. She's got a real passion for prosecuting, but she's leaving the DA's office. We decided it would hold too much of a conflict of interest." Liv's eyes brightened and she smiled when she spoke of Casey. "We're only just starting to tell people."

"I see. You should see your face when you talk about her." Alex's smile was wistful. "You light right up."

"She's pretty special. She was patient with me. I was even thicker with her than I was with you." Liv ate her salad.

"Hard to imagine. More green beans or chicken?" Alex tried to smile.

"I had blinders on after you left, Alex. I wasn't going to let anyone get near me enough to hurt like that again, to lose someone. It wasn't worth it to me. I wasn't worth it. I put up a wall to rival the one in China." Liv stared at her plate. "Yes, more of each please."

Alex handed her the platters. "You wouldn't believe how much I understand."

"Casey...she broke through it...not quickly, but persistently." She filled her plate again. "And believe it or not, I learned from you, from us. I didn't want to make the same mistake twice."

"Guess it was a mistake and a life lesson, huh?" Alex took the platters from Liv. "I see you've still got a good appetite."

"Yup on both counts. Can I refill your glass?" Liv held up the wine.

"Oh, what the hell?" She handed her glass to Liv.

Liv handed her full glass back and smiled. She held up her glass in a toast. "To our mistakes?"

"To our greatest mistakes." Alex grinned around the rim of her glass as she sipped.

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Alex was in the kitchen putting coffee on and Liv was selecting music. Liv turned on the fireplace and stood admiring the view. She tried to let the reality of the situation sink in. She was in Alex's apartment. She just had dinner with Alex. They had finally given voice to their feelings for each other...their mutual feelings for each other. Yet she was in love with Casey and Alex was engaged to Richard. How could things range so far from their original course? She drifted in her mind back to all the late nights and early mornings spent in such proximity yet such distance. All the time lost...wasted really. But if it hadn't happened like it did...exactly like it did...her mind was getting a little fuzzy from the booze and she shook her head.

She'd unknowingly begun dancing as Sheryl Crow started singing My Favorite Mistake when Alex entered the room. Alex stopped and gawked at Olivia swaying to the strains of the song. Liv moved her body purposefully and sensually. It was too much, but Alex couldn't pry her eyes off the woman's curves. "Hey, Liv. Stop that and come sit."

Liv was startled out of her thoughts and turned. She realized that she was dancing with the music, and the look that Alex was sending her was almost hungry. Liv licked her lips and danced over to Alex. "C'mon, Bureau Chief. Let's see what you've got." She grabbed her hands and pulled.

"No, Liv." Alex pulled her hands back. She shook her head. "No thanks. Ok?" She flushed deep crimson. There was no way in the world she could dance with Olivia and keep any sort of composure. A wave of sadness and deep regret washed over her.

Liv put both hands up in surrender. "Sorry. Just thought it would be fun...our toast and all." Liv sat down next to Alex. "Are you ok?"

Alex looked up and shook her head. She swallowed and opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"What? Please." She couldn't stand it. Alex looked so sad and so lost and Liv knew she was the reason. "I'm so sorry I make you sad."

Alex lost it. The tears that had been threatening to fall flowed down her cheeks in great rivulets. Her shoulders began to shake. She fell forward in to Liv's arms.

"Alex, sweetie. It's ok. Let it all out. That's what tonight is for. Just let it go." She leaned back against the sofa and held Alex to her tightly. She rubbed her back gently and spoke softly. "I'm here and it's all ok."

Alex eventually calmed down a bit and tried to sit up. "Liv...I'm sorry."

"Shut up and put your head back down." Liv stroked her hair and shoulder. "Just stay here. Just for a while. Ok?"

Alex nodded against Liv's chest. "Ok."

"Let me try to make up for a few of the nights that I should have done this long ago and didn't. We'll cry together tonight for all the nights that we had to cry alone." Liv pressed a kiss on the top of the silky blonde hair and let her tears fall as well.

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Several minutes passed as the women sat on the sofa holding each other. Years of built up pain flowing out. As they calmed down, they found the rhythm of each other's breathing and stared in to the bluish flames of the gas fireplace.

Alex spoke first. "Liv? Are you ok?" During their sobbing session, Alex had worked herself up against Olivia with her head resting on her shoulder. She had one hand between the sofa and Liv's back and the other splayed across Liv's chest. She could feel her heartbeat beneath her hand.

"I think that all depends on your definition of ok, doesn't it?" Liv's left hand was rubbing Alex's arm and shoulder while the other stroked the back of her head.

"I guess. Right now, though. Right here. Are you ok?" Alex inhaled deeply the scent of Olivia that was filling her senses.

"Right here, right now I'm better than ok." Liv smiled.

"Good." Alex took a deep breath. "But, right here, right now is...temporary."

Liv's smile faded. "Yes, it is. But..."

"We haven't had dessert yet. Coffee and pie?" Alex made no move to get up.

"That sounds great. Why don't you let me get it?" Liv still spoke softly.

"Ok." She pulled back from Olivia's arms and shivered at the loss of contact.

"You cold? Want a blanket or something?" She reached out and rubbed Alex's arm.

Alex shook her head. "If you'll stop that, it'll be easier for me to regulate my own temperature."

Liv looked at Alex's arm. "Oh. Sorry." She smiled. "Be right back."

Liv returned a few minutes later to find Alex sitting with her shoes off, her legs curled under her and her eyes closed. Her lips were curled up in a mischievous little smile. It made her wonder what she was thinking about. "Penny for your thoughts." Liv whispered.

Alex opened one eye. She shook her head. "Just thinking. Remembering."

Liv put the tray down, kicked off her boots and sat on the sofa next to Alex. "Must have been good memories." She put her hand on the side of her face and leaned back.

"Mmm hmm." Alex sat up and looked at the slices of pie. "Let's eat, shall we?" Between the alcohol and the emotional roller coaster, she was feeling sleepy and knew some sugar and caffeine were just the things.

"I remember learning about your sweet tooth." Liv grinned. She began to fix her coffee. "It was surprising."

Alex laughed. "Talk about getting busted. You're the only person on the planet who would enter my office without knocking at 10 o'clock at night."

"Yeah, to find you about waist deep in pie...chocolate practically ear to ear." Liv chuckled at the memory. Then her face changed and she shifted. She bit the inside of her mouth.

Alex took her coffee and carefully observed Olivia. "What?"

"What, what?" Liv repeated.

"You were thinking something else. What was it?" Alex's curiosity was dangerously peaked.

Liv took a deep breath. "Doesn't matter. Eat." Liv pointed to the pie.

Alex tilted her head. "I'll eat if you talk." She grabbed the plate and fork.

"You looked adorable that night. You blushed and stammered and couldn't find the napkins. And all I could think of was how sexy you looked. How easy it would have been to close and lock the door behind me...and well, you get the idea." Liv picked up her plate.

Alex sat with eyes wide in mid-bite of her pie. She felt warm knowing what Liv had really been thinking that night. "You, too, huh?" She finished taking her bite.

"Oh yeah. You weren't the only one feeling things and thinking things. So, is this any good?" Liv pointed to the pie.

"Uh huh. Try it." Alex gestured with her fork.

Liv took a bite of her pie. "Oh yeah. That's the good stuff." She sipped her coffee. "So, tell me, Chief...which memory was making you smile before?"

Alex blushed and shook her head. "Not a memory, per se." She worried her bottom lip.

"Oh, I see. Memory of a fantasy, then?" Liv took another bite of pie.

"You're still a great detective. Yes." She scraped the last of the chocolate frosting off her plate with her fork. "I was remembering a favorite." She chased the last bite of chocolate with a swig of coffee.

"Boy, we really are holding to that open and honest rule, aren't we?" Liv pulled at her undershirt fanning herself a bit. "Is it hot in here suddenly?" It was Liv's turn to blush.

"You asked. I answered." Alex sat her plate and mug down.

Liv's eyes darted around the room. She was looking everywhere but Alex's eyes. She drummed her fingers nervously on her leg and decided on finishing her pie as an acceptable activity. "So, uh..."

Alex thought she knew why Olivia was avoiding eye contact and wasn't sure what she should do. "If you want to know, just ask. You told me yours."

"I, uh, I'm not sure I want to know." Olivia swallowed hard.

"And why is that?" Alex leaned in.

"Because I think it would..." Liv searched for the right word and settled on one, "…affect me. And I'm not sure that's such a great idea." She put down her mug and plate and turned to face Alex. When she did, she looked in to eyes a deep shade of sapphire that made her breath catch in her throat.

Alex licked her lips. "I've been 'affected', since that's the euphemism you settled on, all night, Liv."

"Don't tell me that, Alex. Please." Liv clenched her fists. She closed her eyes. "What are we doing?" She barely whispered.

Alex leaned in. "I have no idea."

"I'll die if I don't kiss you." Liv leaned in and closed the remaining short distance between them. She brushed her lips lightly against Alex's.

A soft whimper escaped Alex's throat. "Liv." She breathed the word.

"I'm sorry." Liv rested her forehead against Alex's. "I shouldn't have."

"I'm not." Alex's fingers curled around Olivia's neck. "But you're right."

Liv's hands uncurled their fists and gently pushed Alex's shoulders back. "I can't think when you're this close to me."

Alex pulled back and sank in to the sofa next to Liv. "Well, that makes two of us."

Liv looked heavenward and squeezed her eyes shut. She breathed deeply. She thought of Casey. She loved Casey. She couldn't do this to her. She wouldn't do this to her. "We can't." Her voice was barely audible.

"I know." Alex bit her bottom lip. "Doesn't make me want to any less."

Liv's eyes were still closed. She shook her head slightly. "Which probably means it's time for me to go."

Alex reacted before she could think or stop herself. In a heartbeat she had straddled Liv's lap and pressed her lips against the brunette's desperately. "Don't go." She whispered against Liv's mouth.

Liv put her hands on Alex's thighs and tried to breathe. "God. Alex." Liv was painfully aware of the woman on her lap and the fact that her higher brain function was not working. "Ummm."

Alex pulled her head back. "I don't have a problem telling Richard we kissed. But if I'm going to confess, I want it to be worth my while. Can you handle that?"

Liv looked in to Alex's eyes they were an even deeper blue now and a little cloudy with desire. She wanted to give Alex something. They both needed closure and a peck on the lips wasn't going to bring it. Casey might not understand, but she would be honest with her. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Yes."

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	13. Chapter 13

**_Author's Note: Some of that adult content I mentioned is in the chapter that follows. Thanks so much for the feedback. I appreciate any feedback that you take the time to share. Enjoy!_**

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Alex's pupils dilated as Liv's voice, rough with desire, husked out the answer she was dying to hear. She wound her fingers through the shoulder length strands of baby soft auburn hair and gazed in to Liv's darkening brown eyes. "Kiss me again, Liv. Please." She pulled Liv's mouth to hers.

The kiss started with gentle exploration but quickly deteriorated in to fevered plundering of lips, teeth and tongue. Liv could taste the coffee and chocolate, sweet traces of crème on Alex's lips and tongue. Liv's hands found their way up Alex's back, rubbing the length of her spine, up and down in firm strokes. Alex arched in to Olivia and groaned.

Alex pulled her lips away from Liv's and rained smaller kisses across Liv's strong jaw, chin and down her neck. She flattened her tongue against the pulse point and felt Liv's pulse quicken against it. Alex wanted to use her teeth, but refrained. She blinked back the momentary thought that despite what they were doing, Liv was not hers to mark.

"Oh. My. God. Alex." Now Liv's hips bucked upward against Alex. Alex grabbed Liv's hand and brought it to her breast. Liv felt the hard nipple through the layers of fabric covering it. "Alex." She kneaded the soft flesh in her palm.

Alex ground her hips down and against Liv's. Liv's strong hand on her breast was making her wild faster than she would have dreamed possible. She was breathing heavy and continuing her oral assault on Liv's neck. "So good, Liv. God. Yessss."

"Alex." Liv whispered.

Alex's hands slid out of Liv's hair and down her chest. Alex closed her eyes and simply held Liv's breasts in her hands. She thought the feeling might make her pass out. Feeling Liv's body respond beneath her hands was the most incredible sensation she'd ever experienced. Quite possibly because it was something she thought she'd _never_ experience.

"God, Alex. Please. We need to..." Liv was having trouble forming words let alone thoughts. At the same time Alex began a gentle massage of her breasts. "Need to stop. Now. Oh, uhnnn. Stop." It was difficult to speak the words because her body was defying them. Her body arched in to Alex's hands and her hips bucked.

Alex knew Liv was right. She was about to cross an already blurred line. She stilled her hands and appreciated the fullness and weight for a couple seconds before removing them. She kissed Liv lightly on the lips and climbed off her lap. "Sorry." She slumped against the back of the sofa her body pulsing with the dull thrum of arousal. "Guess I get the shameless slut award for the evening." She took several jagged breaths.

"Don't. I was as much a participant as you were." Liv put the back of her hand against her forehead. She breathed deeply and licked her lips. "Wish I had known you were such a good kisser." She turned to look at Alex with a half-grin.

"You suck." She hit Liv's arm and started to laugh.

"Well I just thank God you don't. I've got enough explaining to do as is." Liv joined Alex in laughing. Their situation was nothing if not ridiculous.

The two women sat next to each other lost in laughter for several minutes. Liv finally linked her hand with Alex's, intertwining their fingers. "I've missed you."

Alex smiled at the simple statement. Liv made it sound like she had been away for the weekend. "I missed you, too. Sometimes unbearably." She squeezed Liv's hand. "That was a pretty amazing kiss, wasn't it?" She turned her body back toward Liv's.

"Oh yeah." Liv's smile widened and she turned to mirror Alex. "Which is why doing that again is a really, really bad idea. Right?"

Alex nodded. "Right." She reached out her hand and gently touched Liv's face, tracing the lines of her forehead, cheeks and jaw.

"Which doesn't make me want to do it any less." Liv closed her eyes loving the feel of Alex's fingertips on her face. "God, Alex."

"Your skin is so much softer than I imagined." Alex thought that with her eyes closed Liv looked like an angel.

"You spent a lot of time imagining what my skin felt like?" Liv's lips parted slightly.

"You have no idea. Your hair is softer too." She couldn't draw her eyes away from Liv's parted lips. She softly traced them with the tip of her index finger.

Liv gasped at the contact, which caused her mouth to open further. Suddenly, Alex's index finger was caught between Liv's teeth. Liv's tongue traced the fingertip. Teased it. Stroked it.

Alex writhed. Her eyes flew wide open. "LIV!" As Liv began to suckle it, Alex threw her head back and whimpered. "That's...so...erotic."

Liv's answer was a smile. She continued the teasing act for another brief moment then released the digit. "You enjoyed that, huh?"

"Mmmmm hmmmm. I wish there was a way to show you how much." Alex looked wistfully at the deep chocolate brown eyes looking at her playfully. In an instant, her heart sank. She and Liv would never make love. They could tease each other to death tonight, but they could never. She'd never know Liv's intimate scent or taste. She'd never hear her call her name in ecstasy. Likewise Liv would never know those things about her. It all seemed horribly unfair. In that instant Alex felt her heart truly break. She swallowed the huge lump in her throat. She felt tears sting her eyes and tried to blink them back.

"Alex, honey, I know. I saw it in your eyes. I've got a good imagination. And if how turned on I am is any indicator of what you're feeling..." Liv cupped her cheek.

Alex closed her eyes and leaned in to Liv's palm. She suddenly heard a few words from their evening together echo through her head. Imagination. Think. Fantasy. Memories. Feelings. Mutual. Just like that, she had an evil idea. "Liv?"

"Yes, Alex?" She could tell the blonde attorney had been deep in thought.

"I have an idea. Tell me what you'd do if you could." Alex's eyes locked with Olivia's.

Olivia searched the deep blue pools for understanding. "Huh?"

Alex looked deep in to her eyes. "If it weren't for the other people in our lives, what would we be doing right now? Don't show me. Don't touch me...below the neck. Tell me." She leaned in to Liv's palm and nuzzled it.

"I..." Liv swallowed hard.

"It's just talking then. Open and honest communication." She grabbed Liv's hand. "Can we try it? If it's too awkward, we stop."

Liv's resolve broke as she looked in the hopeful blue eyes. "Yes. Anything you need." Her mouth curled in a shy smile. "I just don't know how to start."

Alex stood up. "I'd lead you to my bedroom." She took Liv by her hand.

Liv's grin got bigger as they walked slowly.

"I'd stop in the hall and kiss you until we couldn't breathe." She pushed Liv up against the wall and kissed her hard. Then she pulled away and walked down the hall and in to her bedroom.

Liv followed. "I'm with you so far."

"I'd slide my hands under the hem of that sweater and pull it over your head." Alex licked her lips and swallowed. "But I can't. You can though."

Liv nodded. She held Alex's hungry gaze as long as she could before she slipped her sweater over her head and tossed it aside. She stood before Alex in her white tank.

"God, Olivia. You really are the most beautiful woman. I'd caress your arms and trace the muscles with my fingertips."

Liv bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. She ran her left hand over her right forearm, then up higher to her shoulder and bicep and lightly down the length of her arm. "God, Alex. I want to touch you, too."

"Tell me."

"I'd run my finger under the collar of that shirt. Trace your collarbone." Liv's eyes were still closed as she whispered. "So soft."

Alex ran a single finger across her own collarbone and shuddered. "Yes."

"I'd run my hands down your sides and slowly pull that shirt up and over your head." Liv opened her eyes to watch as the blonde dutifully removed the blue sleeveless shirt she had been wearing. She bit her bottom lip as the creamy skin of Alex's abdomen was revealed as well as a pale pink satin bra covering smooth mounds of delicate flesh. Liv groaned.

Alex saw the hungry look in Liv's eyes as they raked over her body. "This is torture. Can we just agree to some state of undress and take it from there?"

"It was your idea, genius. You tell me." Liv tried focusing on breathing and not the taut nipples that were pressing against their satin coverings. "My brain stopped working about the time you removed your shirt. Blood's rushing elsewhere."

"Hmmm. And if you removed your shirt, detective? Think I would have to endure the same level of distraction?" Alex asked her voice thick with desire.

Olivia nodded.

"I'd cup your breasts through that thin cotton undershirt. Knead them just enough. Then run my fingers underneath, drawing lazy patterns on your stomach. I want to feel the ridges of muscle defining your strong stomach." Her throat went dry as Olivia followed her every instruction.

"Alex." Olivia's breathing had increased as she teased her stomach with light touch.

Alex cleared her throat and tried to speak. Her voice was rough with desire. "I'd reach behind you, lightly stroke your back and shoulders. Unhook your bra and slide your shirt and bra up and off." Alex's pupils dilated fully as she watched the muscles she'd dreamt of come in to view, flexing and straining as she removed her clothing. "My God, Liv. So beautiful." She felt a surge of desire spread warmly throughout her insides and settle with a throb between her legs. She stared at a topless Olivia. Her breasts were full and not as perky as her own, but they were awe-inspiring. She burned the image in to her memory for all time.

"Now you." Liv breathed out. Without thinking she reached out her hand.

Alex shook her head. "Tell me." She grabbed Liv's hand.

"I-I-I..." Liv stammered. Her hand shook. "I don't think...All I can think of is how much I want to touch you and how much I want you to touch me. This is crazy." Liv closed her eyes.

"Liv, sweetie, don't panic. Just take a deep breath." She turned her back to Liv. "I don't think it's against the rules for you to unhook me." She placed Liv's trembling hand on the small of her back.

Liv ran a thumb under the strap and stroked the flesh there briefly. She unhooked the bra and Alex stepped away. She gently pulled the straps down and let them fall off her shoulders and on to the floor.

"Your back is amazing, Alex...but let me see you. Turn around." Liv's voice was heavy with lust.

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Both women lay naked beside each other on Alex's king size bed. Olivia's chest was still heaving and her hand resting on her lower belly. "That was..." Her mouth was dry. "Intense." She opened her eyes and saw Alex staring at her with a satisfied smirk. "What?"

"I know. Shouldn't surprise us though. It's always been intense between us." There was one more thing Alex wanted to do. "One more indulgence, Liv?"

Liv nodded as Alex grabbed Liv's hand. "Anything."

Alex brought Liv's slightly pruned, damp fingers to her mouth and slowly sucked them in. She groaned as the heady scent of Olivia's arousal filled her nose and the tangy, salty flavor washed over her tongue. She licked each finger clean. She placed a kiss on Olivia's palm. "That's the most amazing thing I've ever tasted."

"God, Alex. What you do to me." Liv closed her eyes.

They lay in silence for several minutes, the reality of their situations washing back over them as their bodies calmed back down. Liv propped herself up on an elbow and stared at Alex's naked form.

Alex stared back at her. "What are you doing?"

Liv sighed. "Memorizing this moment. The content smile on your face. The curves of your body."

"I know. Me, too. It's almost over, isn't it?" Alex blinked several times.

Liv nodded and felt herself well up. "Before it even began."

"Thank you, Liv, for the night of a lifetime."

"You don't have to thank me. It was mutual." Liv leaned down and kissed Alex slowly. Eventually she opened her mouth and allowing their tongues to touch lightly. "I have to go." She whispered pulling away from the kiss.

"I know." Alex sighed heavily.

Liv sat up and swung her legs over the side. She stood up and searched for her clothes. Alex started to get up to help her. "It's ok, Alex. Stay in bed. I'll tuck you in before I go."

Alex smiled wider. She watched Olivia slowly dress in front of her. Sensible white cotton panties slid up long, strong legs to cover a muscular butt and dark thatch of damp curls. Jeans followed. White cotton again covered Liv's full breasts and dusky nipples. A tank top, then sweater followed over her head. She was fastening her belt when she looked up at Alex. "What?"

"Kind of enjoying the reverse strip tease. I think your socks landed over there." Alex pointed to the corner behind the vanity.

"Thanks." She sat down and put on her socks and boots. Liv looked in the mirror and smoothed out her hair a bit. She walked over to Alex. "Get under the covers."

"But..." Alex started.

"I can let myself out. I can clean up if you want and get the lights. This is how I want to remember this...you naked in bed. Pretend I got a call and had to go." Liv's eyes started to fill again.

"Ok." Alex pulled back the sheet and crawled under. She took a couple deep breaths to keep her own emotions in check.

Liv walked over to her side of the bed. "I need to break the rules." She placed her hand over the scar on Alex's right shoulder. That scar changed both of their lives forever. She leaned down and kissed it gently. Tears spilled down Liv's cheeks and on to Alex's chest. "I'll always love you and need you in my life."

"I love you, too, Liv." She gently stroked the back of Liv's head.

"Time to go." Liv's voice was weak. Liv kissed Alex on the lips one last time. She tucked the sheet around her and kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep tight, honey."

Alex cupped Liv's cheek. "Good night, Liv."

"Night, Alex." Liv turned and slowly walked out of the bedroom, stopping only to click off the light.

Alex heard the clatter of dishes, running water and then more clicking of lights. She grabbed the pillow Olivia had laid on while they...whatever it was called that they did. It was still warm and she inhaled deeply as the front door closed. With the scent of Olivia in her nose and the taste of her already fading from her lips, Alex closed her eyes and cried until sleep claimed her.

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Olivia pulled her coat more tightly around herself against the bite of night air. She looked back for the first time since she left Alex's apartment. She sighed deeply as she climbed in to the waiting cab.

She spent the cab ride home lost in thought. It was an impossible evening. She had no idea how to reconcile all that had happened. By the time the cab deposited her curbside in front of her apartment, she had sorted quite a bit out. She hoped the women in her life would understand. She looked at her watch. It was just after one in the morning.

She took the stairs to her apartment and paused as she turned the key. "I know what I want." She whispered to the empty hallway.

She went in to the bathroom and washed up. She brushed her teeth, changed in to her nightclothes and headed in to the bedroom. Casey was sleeping like a baby. She crawled in to bed next to her with a twinge of guilt. "I love you so much, Casey." She kissed her lightly on the cheek and held her close. It would be a long time before sleep would come for Olivia.

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Casey woke to the smell of coffee drifting down the hall from the kitchen. She got up and padded down the hall to the bathroom, then out to the kitchen.

Olivia looked up. "Hey. Good morning, sweetie."

Casey smiled weakly. "Good morning." She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down. "When did you get back?"

Olivia cleared her throat. "Around one."

Casey nodded. "So, did you work it all out? Finish your...business?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, we did. It was always going to be messy and complicated, Casey, unless we faced a few things."

"Uh huh. I know." Casey added sugar to her coffee and stirred. "So now what?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia's eyes searched Casey's.

"How did you leave things with Alex?" Casey looked tentative.

"It's not going to make any sense if I start at the end, Case. I promise I'll tell you everything...but if we start that conversation now, we'll both be late." She stood up and walked over to Casey. "Just know that I love you very much and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be." She kissed Casey tenderly on the lips.

Casey smiled at Olivia's words. "I love you, too."

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On her way to work, Olivia called Alex's cell.

"Liv? Good morning." Alex sounded surprised.

"Morning. You didn't expect to hear from me?"

Alex giggled. "Not really, no. I figured Casey would have forbidden all contact."

"Not hardly. So, you ok?" She was genuinely concerned.

"Yes, sort of. As ok as one can be, I guess."

"I know what you mean. Look, I meant everything I said last night. I just wanted to hear your voice and know that you were ok." Liv pulled in to her spot at the station. "You want to grab lunch one day next week?"

"I know, Liv. I know. Lunch sounds like fun." Alex spoke to someone in the background. "Can I call you back to arrange it?"

"You bet. Talk to you later." Liv smiled. It was going to be ok.

"Bye." Alex hung up her phone. She was glad Liv had called. She worried that their evening would drive a wedge between them, but that fear was quickly abated. Liv truly cared about her. She smiled for the rest of the morning.

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	14. Chapter 14

**_Author's Note: I'll make my usual statement about feedback being food for a hungry muse. I appreciate any and all feedback. Enjoy!_**

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Later that morning, Liv knocked on the door of Thomas' hospital room. "Hey, kiddo. Look at you!"

Thomas was dressed and standing beside his bed. "Hi Detective Benson." He smiled.

"You must be feeling better." Liv smiled back at the boy.

"Yeah, I can go home once my mom gets here AND I can testify. Miss Novak will be happy about that." Thomas started to fidget a little.

"Great. About your mom...is there anything you want to tell me?" Olivia sat down on his bed. "I might understand more than you think."

Thomas worried his bottom lip. "What's to tell? My Dad died of a heart attack four years ago. He left us pretty well set. Mom works to keep busy and keep away from me." He walked gingerly to the window.

"Why would she want to keep away from you?" Liv asked gently.

He took a deep breath. "I remind her of him. She dates, but her true love is Wild Turkey. When she drinks...she's just mean."

"Thomas nobody, not even your Mom, has the right to hurt you. Does she hurt you?" Anger flashed in the detective's dark eyes.

"No. She just says stuff." Olivia saw him wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm weak. I'm a wimp. I should try to be more of a man."

"She's wrong, Thomas. You're very brave. Very few grown men would have the courage to do the right thing for Angelina. AND you are confronting the people who assaulted you. That takes strength."

"I guess." Thomas sniffed.

"Well I _know_. With your testimony, James isn't going to be able to hurt anyone else. And trust me, Thomas, he was setting out on a path to hurt a lot of people." Olivia stood up. "You're twice the man at 15 that some could ever hope to be." She walked over and handed him her card. "If you ever need anything, just call me…any time." She met the boy's eyes and connected with him.

"Thanks. For everything." He took the card and gave her a weak smile.

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The rest of the trial had gone pretty much according to Casey's plan. Angelina's memory of the night in question had returned. On the stand, Langan had tried to portray her as a loose girl who had flirted with the boys and was eager to lose her virginity. Casey had shot down every attempt to cast the victim as anything but an innocent Catholic schoolgirl with every intent of remaining a virgin. Dr. Melinda Warner had verified the DNA and forensic evidence against James. Thomas testified to corroborate Angelina's account. The case against James was strong and the people rested.

Casey would take her cross of James after recess. Something about the kid made her skin crawl. She was having lunch at her desk in her office and going over her cross.

"Hey, Case." Olivia stood in her doorway.

"Hi baby." She put down her pen. "What's up?"

Olivia looked around her office. There were boxes stacked up and the walls were bare. On her desk there was a blotter and current case notes and nothing else. "This place already looks like you left."

"This is my last official case. Once we get a verdict and a sentence...this isn't my office any more." Casey sighed.

"A sentence, huh? I love it when you get cocky." Olivia walked up behind Casey and kissed her cheek.

"We won't have to worry about sentencing if you don't let me review my cross." Casey spun her chair and was facing Liv.

"Ok, fine." She kissed her quickly on the lips. "But we're having dinner tonight, right?"

"Yes. Now shoo!" She slapped Liv playfully on the butt as she turned to leave.

Casey went back to work with a grin on her face.

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Olivia sat in the front row of the gallery behind Casey right next to Angelina and her parents. She didn't see a statuesque blonde with glacier blue eyes sneak in and take a seat in the back row.

"Your witness, counselor." Judge Petrovsky said once court was again in session.

"Mr. Marsone, you have testified under oath that the sex was consensual." Casey stood directly in front of James.

"Yeah." James looked bored.

"Did she ever say 'No'?" Casey asked pointedly.

"Never." He twiddled his thumbs.

"Interesting. That's not what you told Detective Stabler. You told him she said no at first, but eventually she 'came around'. Which is it?" Casey prodded.

"She never said no, ok. I must have been mistaken with Detective Stabler." James held his head high with a cocky grin.

"How exactly did she consent to sex with you? Please use Angelina's exact words." Casey tilted her head.

"Uh, I don't know." James shrugged.

"Did she say she wanted to have sex with you?" Casey pressed.

"No."

"No? Then how did she consent?" Casey leaned in.

"She wanted it as much as I did." His cold eyes glared at Casey.

"Uh huh. How did she make her intentions known to you, Mr. Marsone?"

"She, uh, sat on my lap and kissed me." James smirked.

"Ah yes, the universal sign for roughly take my virginity in the closet." Casey snarked.

Langan stood. "Objection!"

"Sustained. Tread carefully, Miss Novak." The judge warned.

"Withdrawn. Would you assume that everyone who sits on your lap and gives you a kiss wants to have sex with you?" Casey questioned.

James shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Then what was it that led you to assume that in this instance?" Casey stood with arms open and eyes wide.

"I just knew, ok?" James had begun to squirm.

"You just knew. Fine. How do you feel about Thomas Sansone?" Casey gestured with her hands.

"What do you mean?" James squinted in confusion.

"What would you assume if Thomas sat on your lap and kissed you?" Casey asked with nonchalance.

"WHAT?" James slammed his fist on the witness chair and stood up.

"Would you assume he wanted sex? Would you go in the closet with him?" Casey now stared at the young boy.

"YOU STUPID BITCH! I WOULD NEVER!!!" James was beet red and screaming now. He lunged at Casey as the bailiff reached him. Olivia got to her feet.

"Order! Order! Mr. Marsone, control yourself!" The judge banged her gavel as she called for order in her courtroom. "Mr. Langan, instruct your client to be silent and seated or held in contempt of this court."

In the grasp of the bailiff, he continued to rant. "THAT FUCKIN' FAGGOT PANTY WASTE!!!! WHAT DID HE SAY?"

Langan shouted at his client. "James! Enough. Be quiet!!"

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Once order had been restored and the jury brought back in, James' character was already a lost cause.

Casey again approached the witness. "I would like to submit testimony already given in this case by prosecution witness Thomas Sansone, your honor. And I quote 'He called me a fucking faggot panty waste who should shut my yap or he'd shut it for me.' Do you remember making that statement, Mr. Marsone?"

James was seething. His face was red. His fists were clenching and unclenching. His nostrils flared as he spat. "Yeah."

"And why did you make that statement the night of the party?" Casey asked crossing to the jury.

"Because Thomas didn't wanna play spin the bottle." James managed through gritted teeth.

"I see. Nothing further." Casey sat down. She met Olivia's gaze and Liv winked at her and smiled.

Court was adjourned for the day with nothing but closing arguments left for first thing Monday morning.

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Liv and Casey had settled down to dinner with an array of white cardboard Chinese food containers. "So, you kicked ass today. James is as good as serving the max."

"You're prejudiced, but thank you. Pass the lo mein." Casey smirked at her lover.

She handed her a container. "How come you haven't asked about my dinner with Alex at all?" Liv asked dipping a spring roll in hot mustard.

"It's not really any of my business. If you've got something you want to share, I'm all ears. If not..." She scooped some lo mein out with chopsticks.

"Well, I want to share." Liv mumbled between bites.

"Be my guest." Casey took a sip of water.

Liv wiped her mouth and played with her napkin a bit. "Alex and I talked a lot." She took a deep breath. "We also kissed."

Casey bobbed her head. "I guess that's not surprising." She poked at the lo mein and bit her bottom lip.

"We kissed and there was some touching. It was very intense. Mostly, we just talked, Case. There's no way to say this without sounding like an ass, sweetie, so here goes. We had to. If not, it would have hung over our heads _forever_. It's over and done now. I'll always care for Alex and a part of me will always love her in some way. We were an important part of each other's lives. She's part of what led me to you." Liv paused to see if Casey was ok.

"All hail the mighty Alex." Casey mumbled.

"I guess that's fair, Case, but can you hear me out? Maybe get a piece of paper and write down the witty retorts as they come to you so we can catch up on them later?" Liv arched an eyebrow.

Casey growled. "Sorry."

"Alex is a part of my history. You're my future. I love you, Casey. I am in love with you. We've never discussed exclusivity, but I'd like to. There's no one else I want to be with." Liv exhaled. "What do you think?" She held Casey's gaze.

Casey blinked taking in what Liv had said. She clenched and unclenched her fists several times. "You know I love you." She blinked again and bit her upper lip. "You didn't sleep with Alex?"

Liv shook her head. "No."

"But you love her?" Casey's eyes asked as much as her words did.

"I do. We kissed more than once, held each other and stuff. We talked about a lot of things." Liv held her breath.

"I'm guessing not a kiss on the cheek and holding hands?" Casey gave a questioning look.

Liv shook her head. "If you want specifics..."

"I'll pass thanks. How was it then?" Casey asked quietly, her anger just under the surface.

Liv thought about it carefully. "Intense."

"Intense? Is she a good kisser?" Casey pursed her lips.

"Yeah, she's pretty good. I'm not going to lie." Liv smiled shyly.

"Better than me?" Casey arched an eyebrow.

Liv shook her head. "No. Just different."

"I see. So I win the Detective Benson sweepstakes, huh?" Casey huffed. "Yay for me."

Liv tilted her head. "If you want to think of it that way, I guess so."

"How did I win?" Casey whispered.

Liv swallowed and pondered the question. She chose her words carefully. "You make me feel safe and cared for, Casey. I know that you love me. Intense is not what I'm looking for. Not to say that what we have isn't intense...but it's more than that." She looked at Casey to see if she was following her at all.

"I'm not sure I get it." Casey looked hopeful but confused.

"So much of my life is supremely intense...my job, my mother, my brother...everything about my past. You center me. And that's what I want. If it's what you want."

"What I want?" Casey swallowed hard.

"Yes. What do you want?" Liv was laying herself bare in front of Casey.

"What I want is you." Casey didn't even need to think about her answer. "In every way possible. Heart, mind, body and soul."

Liv stood up with tears in her eyes and walked over to Casey. She got down on her knees and held her lover's hands in hers. "Then it's your lucky day, Casey Novak. Because you _so_ have me in every way possible." She kissed Casey's hands and looked deeply in to her eyes.

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Alex stepped in to Richard's apartment.

"Good morning, darling." Richard kissed his fiancé on the cheek. "How are the invitations to the engagement party coming along? I'm certain Mother will ask at brunch, so I figured I'd prep you."

"Good morning. They will be ready to go out next week. Where are we brunching again?" Alex returned his peck on the cheek.

"Manhattan Tennis Club, darling. Mother and several of her ladies who lunch will be there. A bit of a parade, but you know the drill. The car won't be here for another few minutes. How _ever_ shall we kill the time?" He brought his mouth to her ear and blew in to it lightly.

"Richard!" She swatted at him. "Seriously, you want to spend seven minutes acting like teenagers and then go to a stuffy brunch with your mother and her friends? That's almost sadistic."

He looked like a spanked puppy. "I suppose not. So, how was your dinner the other night with _the_ Detective Benson?"

"It was fine." Alex weighed whether or not this was the best time to discuss it. "We can talk over the details later, but we caught up on old times, finished some unfinished business, you know."

"Unfinished business? Intriguing. So, how many mimosas do you think Mother will sock back at brunch?" He slipped in to his navy blazer with the gold buttons.

"I like it better when we pick odds or evens." Alex smiled as she watched the handsome man she was going to marry adjust his blazer over strong shoulders. She walked up behind him and draped an arm over his shoulder. She reached up and put an open-mouthed kiss on the side of his neck. Her nose filled with the scent of aftershave. She preferred kissing him after he'd shaved and his skin was smooth.

"Alexandra Cabot. You swat me away for this sort of play. But you know I don't have that resolve when it comes to you." He smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder. "We do make a striking couple, don't we?"

"You are a handsome man, Richard Metcalf." With that she kissed him quickly on the lips and pulled back.

"You are good for my ego. Father would have adored you, Alex." Richard sighed.

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	15. Chapter 15

**_Author's Note: This is a short update, I know. I did want to get this chapter out there. As always, I truly appreciate any and all feedback. Enjoy!_**

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The weekend a pleasant but fading memory, Casey Novak climbed the granite steps of the New York County Courthouse for what would likely be one of the last times as a prosecutor. Olivia could tell that Casey was approaching the end of this phase of her career with mixed emotions. She loved fighting for the good guys, but suffered the loses personally when right didn't always win. Liv had woken her with breakfast in bed. She had wanted to do something special for her. Casey smiled at the memory.

She entered Petrovsky's courtroom with more than a little nostalgia. The courtroom was still pretty empty save a court reporter setting up and some people gathering in the gallery. She set out her files, notes and exhibits. She heard the doors open behind her and turned around. Olivia was ushering in the victim and her family. They exchanged a smile.

Liv took a moment to admire Casey from a far. She wore her gray wool suit with her pale green shell underneath. Her red hair fell over her shoulders in soft waves. She cut an attractive and intelligent figure and when she spoke, Liv knew she'd command the attention she deserved.

Minutes later, the courtroom was a flurry of activity and everyone took to their feet as her honor was brought in.

"In the matter of New York vs. Marsone, we will now hear closing arguments. First we'll hear from Casey Novak, for the people. Miss Novak?"

"The people are ready, your honor."

"Proceed." Judge Petrovsky nodded at Casey.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury." Casey began as she approached the juror's box. "We are asking you to render a decision today based solely on the facts presented in to evidence. Fact. Mr. Marsone's DNA was found inside the victim after two witnesses testified he forced her in to a closet with him. The defense claims she was a willing participant. Fact. She showed bruises, freshly torn hymen, torn clothing, mental state and other injuries consistent with rape when examined on the night in question. Fact. She had previously been a virgin. The defense claims she 'requested' this rough treatment." She paused here and made eye contact with each member of the jury. "Fiction. You need to decide if Angelina Fierini seems like the kind of girl who would request her virginity be taken brutally in a closet by a boy she didn't even like." She paused again, allowing her point to sink in.

"Fact. Mr. Marsone is also accused of brutally assaulting one of the witnesses to his crime. It is your job, ladies and gentlemen, to weigh the facts of the people's case against the fiction of the defense. Return a verdict of guilty on all charges. Take this potential career criminal off the streets for the sake of all our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters or the next time he gets the urge to play spin the bottle...it could be someone you love in the closet with him. Thank you."

Olivia knew Casey had nailed it. She watched the jury as Casey delivered the close. They were nodding and leaning in. When Langan spoke, they fidgeted and looked around. Olivia was proud.

The jury headed out just after 10am. Casey collected her things and sat at the prosecutor's table alone for a moment as the courtroom cleared. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes.

"Excellent work, counselor."

Casey's head flew up at a voice she wasn't expecting to hear. "Alex? Thank you."

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Alex asked of the woman with whom she recently realized she shared so much in common.

Casey raised her eyebrows. "Ah, sure. Why not?"

Once both women had been situated at a table in a small coffee shop called Hav-a-Java around the corner from the courthouse, Alex turned the conversation from pleasantries and chitchat. "Thanks for agreeing to talk to me."

"Well," Casey began stirring her coffee, "I'm guessing Olivia may have mentioned my weakness for coffee."

"She might have mentioned it." Alex studied the woman across from her. She was attractive enough, certainly intelligent and good at her job. "She speaks so fondly of you. Her face lights right up. I want to get to know you, Casey, and to say thank you."

Casey's eyebrows arched. "Getting to know me I get, but thank me? For what?"

Alex sipped her coffee. "For being so understanding, for loving Olivia like you do...for doing what I never could." She suddenly felt waves of emotion she wasn't expecting crash over her. "For making her feel loved and safe and cared for for the first time in her life."

"Easy, Alex." Casey could see that Alex was on the verge of letting emotions spill over. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I thought about hating you." Alex spoke mostly to her coffee. "But how could I?"

"You'd be surprised how easy some find it." Casey offered with a smile.

"Right, I forgot about your wit." Alex smiled wryly and looked heavenward.

"Do you have any idea how strange it feels to be envied by you, Alex?" Casey asked.

"What?" Alex's face registered shock and surprise.

"Liv carried a really big torch for you for a very long time. When I arrived on the job, I never thought I'd climb out of your professional shadow. I didn't realize the harder task before me was the personal hold you had on our favorite SVU detective." Casey figured honesty would work best here.

Alex nodded. "I guess."

"So, what's past is past, Alex." Casey took a long sip.

"Well, since there's no hatchet to bury, can we try being friends?" Alex's smile was tentative.

Casey shrugged. "Why not? I took the dart board with your face on it off the back of my office door...last week."

The women were laughing together when Casey's cell phone buzzed. "Novak, Sex Crimes." She had a short conversation and snapped her phone shut. "Verdict's in."

"Wow. Less than an hour. That's usually good news." Alex nodded.

"We'll know soon enough. Want to give Liv a heart attack and walk back in together?" Casey smirked.

"This could be the start of a beautiful friendship." Alex laughed.

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Casey and Alex walked in to the courtroom together with huge smiles plastered on their faces as they scanned the gallery for Olivia. She was seated beside Angelina and looked up as she heard the doors open. Her eyes widened, her eyebrows arched and she tilted her head to one side in confusion.

The women exchanged a look and then simultaneously winked at Olivia. It caused Olivia to shake her head slightly as her lips curled in to a half smirk and her eyes narrowed. She mouthed, "What the hell?"

Alex slid in to the back row as Casey settled in at the prosecution table.

"Madam foreperson, have you reached a verdict?" Judge Petrovsky inquired of the heavyset older woman leading the jury.

"We have your honor."

"The defendant will please rise." James, Trevor and Casey all stood, as did the foreperson. "On the count of rape in the first degree, how do you find?"

"We, the jury, find the defendant, James Marsone, guilty." The woman read the verdict from the slip of paper.

The judge nodded. "On the charge of aggravated assault, how do you find?"

"We find the defendant guilty."

"So say you one, so say you all?" The judge asked.

"Yes, your honor."

"Thank you. The jury is dismissed with the thanks of the court." The judge banged her gavel. "Court is adjourned. The defendant is remanded to custody until sentencing. Miss Novak? A word?" Casey approached the bench.

"Good work, Casey. It's been a pleasure even when it's been a pain. I wish you the very best in your endeavors." The judge smiled warmly.

"Thank you, your honor." Casey returned the smile and walked back to the table where Olivia and Angelina were waiting.

"Great job, counselor." Olivia was beaming.

"Thank you, Miss Novak." Angelina shook Casey's hand.

"You're welcome. Everyone was just doing their job. I'm so glad we were able to help put this guy away." Casey smiled at the young girl shaking her hand.

"We're moving to Iowa to live with my brother. My new priority is to keep my daughter safe. Thank you, too, detective." Mrs. Fierini smiled appreciatively.

"A fresh start is always good. Like Miss Novak said, it's our job to help." Liv patted her on the shoulder.

-------------------------------------------

"A couple guilty convictions and the perp's serving the max. No wonder there was a line out the door and down the block to get in here to see you, Novak." Don Cragen smiled at Casey. Her entire SVU squad stood in the doorway of ADA Casey Novak's office for the last time.

"You called for someone with a strong back and weak mind to assist with the carrying of heavy things?" Elliot grinned standing behind his Captain.

"We're gonna miss you, Novak." Chester smiled at her.

"Yeah, no matter what we say to your face, you were one of the good guys for a long time. Nobody's gonna forget that. We always got your back. Remember that, Casey." Fin walked in.

"Ah, Casey, Casey, Casey. We hardly knew ye." Munch completed the tableau.

"Is this a party or a funeral?" Liv stood behind everyone waiving a bottle of champagne. "To old friends and new beginnings?"

Alex walked in behind Olivia and passed around paper cups.

"Thanks, guys. This means a lot." When everyone but the captain had a cup, Casey repeated the toast with Olivia beside her. "To old friends and new beginnings!"

A chorus of "Cheers!" and "Here, here's!" and a single "Right on!" rang throughout the soon to be empty office.

Olivia kissed her lover on the cheek and whispered, "I love you and I'm so proud."

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	16. Chapter 16

**_Author's Note: I don't own any of the songs mentioned below. No harm, foul or infringement intended and certainly no profit being made. As always, feedback of any kind is much appreciated. Enjoy!_**

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Two months later, Casey and Olivia were dropping the Prius off with the valet in front of the Manhattan Tennis Club. "This is some place." Liv commented.

"Yeah, a formal engagement party...it's nice." Casey was wearing a little black dress that showed off her legs and a neckline that flattered her long neck.

"You look really, really sexy in that dress." Liv reached over and ran her finger along the strand of pearls that finished the look stunningly.

"Uh huh. Now stop that. We are late enough as it is." Casey's body still tingled with the memory of the effect her dress had had on her girlfriend earlier. Olivia wore a backless dress the color of the night sky. Her strong back and shoulders covered only by a light shawl. Casey looped her arm through Liv's.

"Have you ever thought about something like this?" Liv asked as they made their way inside to the banquet hall.

"Something like what?" Casey wondered where Liv was headed with this.

"Like this. A big party. All of our friends. You know, making things formal and public with one fell swoop." Liv gave a half smile.

"You want to have that talk here? Now?" Casey stopped Liv as they were about to enter. She turned Liv so they were facing each other.

"I, uh, guess not. Sorry. I'm not known for my timing." Liv blushed slightly.

"You are a mystery, Olivia Benson." She kissed her on the lips. "Yes, I've thought about the big party and making things formal. Now, let's revisit this later. Right now, a party awaits."

They walked in and Richard greeted them immediately. "Casey. Olivia." He kissed each of them.

"You work the tux well, Rich. Congratulations." Olivia kissed his cheek.

"Should be illegal for two such beauties to travel together. I'm so glad you could make it." He gestured a server over. "Make sure these lovely ladies don't go hungry or thirsty. Alex had to powder her nose. She'll be back out soon." Richard gestured to a table in the back. "You're next to Captain Cragen and Judge Donnelly."

"Congratulations, Richard." Casey gave his cheek a peck as well.

Liv and Casey ordered a drink from the server and made their way to their seats. They were making small talk with Don and Liz when Alex walked up.

"Thanks for coming. I'm so glad you all could make it." Alex smiled at everyone at the table. Her hair was done up in a French twist and she wore a flattering haltered cocktail dress that matched the color of her eyes.

"Wow, Alex. You look...gorgeous." Liv stood up and hugged her friend. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks, Liv." Alex kissed her cheek and made her rounds of the table, shaking hands, hugging and accepting compliments and congratulations with grace.

Liv watched her for long moments. She seemed built to work a room. Alexandra Cabot was suited to this lifestyle very well. She smiled. She really was happy for Alex and Richard.

By the time everyone had a drink and a tray of appetizers graced each table, Richard and Alex took the small stage and grabbed a microphone. Richard spoke first. "Alex and I thank you all for coming tonight. A few months ago, Miss Cabot made me the happiest and luckiest man in Manhattan by saying yes when I asked her to be my wife. Tonight, we ask for your help in celebrating that answer with us." He leaned down and kissed Alex chastely on the lips and handed her the microphone.

"Hello. Mr...what was your name again, handsome?" Alex smirked as Richard shook his head and laughed, as did all the party-goers.

"Metcalf." Richard stood behind her now and whispered in her ear with his hands on her small waist.

"Right, Mr. Metcalf and I want to extend our warmest thanks to you all. You have shared our lives individually and we hope this evening will be the first of many evenings you'll share with us as a couple. Please enjoy dinner and the dancing that will follow. Again, Richard and I love you all and thank you for joining us."

There was thunderous applause as Alex reached up behind her and kissed Richard again.

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The band was setting up as Liv was scooping up the last of her chocolate mousse.

"That was a fine meal." Don Cragen smiled at the ladies at the table with him.

"Yes it surely was. Alex and Richard know how to throw a party." Liz smiled back.

Casey nodded. "You've got to hand that to them."

The band took the stage and a gentleman grabbed the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen...oh and Richard...we are about to ask everyone to get off their seats and on their feet to join Alex and Richard in dancing the rest of the night away. We are here until 1am and will happily take requests. We are Feather. Hope you enjoy."

With that, the first strains of Peggy Lee's _Fever_ rang out. Alex and Richard slunk around the dance floor together and then went around collecting people to join them. Richard grabbed Casey and Liv by their hands. "Let's go, ladies. Time to cut a rug." He pulled them to the dance floor.

They wound up with about seventy-five percent participation in the dance. Liv enjoyed dancing the slow slinky dance with Casey. They were both in to it and laughing by song's end.

The drinks were flowing and everyone was having a good time when Richard appeared beside Liz Donnelly. "Will your honor do me the honor?" He offered his arm.

Alex sauntered over to the other side of the table. "Captain? Care to show me how's it done?" She gave him a charming and slightly flirtatious smile.

The band played "I Fought The Law and The Law Won" as the two couples danced.

Casey had switched to club soda with lime but Liv nursed her drink of choice. "I think Alex and Richard are going to dance with each guest here...twice."

"They seem to be having a blast." Liv swirled the ice in her glass. She looked up at Casey. The moment just struck her...the inappropriateness of their surroundings didn't. "Marry me, Casey."

Casey's head snapped up. "What?" She shook her head and blinked several times. "No more Maker's Mark for you."

Liv paused and stood up. Then she walked over and knelt beside Casey. She grabbed her hand and locked eyes. "Casey Novak, make me the happiest woman alive and tell me you want to spend the rest of your life with me and only me. Say you'll marry me, Casey. Please." She kissed her hand gently, never breaking eye contact.

Casey looked shell shocked. "Olivia." She whispered her lover's name and stared in to the warm chocolate brown eyes that held so much love and promise. The rest of the world pulled away. Liv's words rang through her head again and again. Casey's throat constricted. She swallowed. She tried her voice and it failed. She nodded.

Liv whispered. "Is that a yes?"

Casey cleared her throat and tried again. "Yes, Liv. Yes. I'll spend forever with you and only you." Her voice left her again and her eyes filled with happy tears.

Liv let out the breath she was holding and kissed Casey on the lips. When the dancers returned to the table, they found the women clutching each other in a tearful embrace.

"Everything ok?" The captain asked before he took his seat.

"Better than ok." Casey said finding her voice. She studied Liv's face for permission to continue. Liv's smirk and nod was all she needed. "You two aren't the only ones with an engagement to celebrate." Casey grinned from ear to ear.

Alex's face held an awkward expression for a moment until understanding dawned.

Richard spoke first. "Well, then, congratulations to you both!" He had already helped Judge Donnelly back to her seat. He kissed Casey and Liv on the cheek. "And you're in luck...you ladies are our next dance, isn't that right, darling?"

Alex snapped out of whatever state she was in. "Yes, congratulations...Liv. Casey. That's fabulous news. And not to take away from your moment, but they're playing our song. Liv?"

Liv placed her hand on Casey's cheek. "Thank you." She turned to Alex. "Let's get our dance on, Miss Cabot." She offered Alex her arm and escorted her to the dance floor as the band began to sing "My Favorite Mistake."

"You've got great timing and a great sense of humor, Alex." They moved together on the dance floor.

"Uh huh. You are, you know." Alex spun out and back and her body pressed in to the length of Olivia's.

Olivia put her hand on the small of Alex's back and held her in place as they moved their bodies as one with the rhythm. "Yes, I know. And so are you, sweetie."

"I really am happy for you. I wish...you deserve to be as happy as she makes you." Alex moved with Olivia.

"You deserve happiness, too, Alex. And Richard loves you very much. The two of you are adorable together." Olivia swayed their hips to the beat.

"Thank you. I'm pretty lucky." She turned in Liv's arms and she now danced with her back pressed against Liv's front.

"I think right now there's an argument for me being the luckiest person in the room. Who knew you could dance like this?" Olivia slid her hand to Alex's hip and Alex draped one arm behind Liv's neck running her fingers through Liv's hair.

"You'd be surprised what a good dancer I become after a few Bellinis." Alex laughed.

"I bet." The music was ending and Liv spun Alex away one last time for a big finish. When Alex was back in her arms at the end of the song she whispered in her ear. "You'll always be my favorite mistake, Alex."

Alex smiled and kissed Liv's cheek. She linked their hands and led Liv back to the table. "Thanks, detective. I've got more dancing to do. Thanks for coming and seriously, congratulations."

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Liv returned from the ladies room and snuck behind Casey. She placed her mouth by her ear and whispered. "May I have this dance, Miss Novak?"

Casey shivered at Liv's breath on her ear. She smiled. "Yes."

She led her to the dance floor as the opening chords of "Far Away" began. "I didn't actually have to pee. I made a request."

"You're hopeless." Casey wrapped her arms around Liv's neck and rested her head on her chest.

"I love you so much." Liv began rubbing Casey's back as she sang softly. "I love you...I have loved you all along."

By the end of the song, the two women were wrapped up in a passionate kiss and Richard hopped up on the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen...our good friends Olivia and Casey are in need of congratulations as well. We wish you both every happiness."

The room again exploded in applause as Casey blushed and buried her face in Liv's neck. "Check please." She whispered pressing a light kiss against Liv's skin.

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	17. Chapter 17

**_Author's Note: Step in to the time machine. We're going in to the future a bit. Let me know what you think. The song _Tenderly_ is the property of Sherrie Austin. No harm, foul or infringement intended and certainly no profit being made. Enjoy!_**

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Five years later…

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo hoo?"

"It's just me. You don't have to cry about it."

"You guys...really? Enough for now, ok?" Casey said exasperatedly from behind the wheel of their Volvo wagon.

"Relax. I've got a million of 'em. Mei and I can go on all day, can't we, Bug?" Liv grinned at the big brown eyes laughing in the booster seat behind her.

"Please don't." Casey groaned. "I can't believe Lin can sleep through the racket of your knock-knock marathon."

"S'ok, Ma. Lin sleepy. Mom say another knock-knock! Please, please?"

Liv smiled at her daughter. "Of course, Bug."

"Maybe you could unwrap yourself from Mei's little finger long enough to hand me a water?" She patted Liv's thigh.

Liv grinned. "You're just jealous. Hit us with a knock-knock, Ma." She reached in to the cooler bag and handed her wife a bottle of water.

Casey sighed. "For heaven's sake." She looked at Liv's bright eyes and took in the happy little girl in the back seat. "Ok, ok. Knock. Knock."

Somewhere in Connecticut, Mei fell asleep, too.

Liv studied the sleeping little girls in the back seat. It was hard to believe that they were theirs. Casey and Liv had walked in to that Chinese orphanage three years ago. Mei had taken to Liv immediately. She crawled up and attached herself to Liv's leg. That Mei had a twin sister was a bonus. Instant family. Well, instant wasn't right. By the time the paper pushing ended and the right amount of money changed hands, the twins were a year old. Now they were happy, healthy, normal three and a half year olds. They loved pushing their mothers' buttons.

Liv turned back around in her seat with a big grin. "I'm the luckiest woman alive."

"They are pretty amazing, aren't they?" Casey loved seeing Liv's eyes light up when she talked about the girls.

"Yeah, well, their Mama ain't too bad either. Three days now I've had to watch you strut around in your bikini with nothing I could do about it. You trying to give your old wife a stroke?" She let her fingers do the walking down Casey's thigh to her knee and squeezed a little.

"I do not strut. And my 'old wife' doesn't look so bad in her suit, either. But I am driving, so watch the hands." She leaned over pecked Liv on the cheek quickly. "Maybe tonight, if we get the girls in bed and the unpacking done..."

Olivia whimpered pathetically. She still desired Casey with undeniable passion, but life, schedules and children kept her from being able to demonstrate that desire as often as she wished. "Maybe." Liv winked at her wife. "Did you have fun this weekend?"

"Yes. Maine was great, just like Alex and Richard said. The bed and breakfast on the water was perfect. I think we all needed a change of scene." Casey drained her water bottle.

"I liked it, too. Three days of sun, sand, pizza and pier fries. Old Orchard Beach...who knew? Bliss." Olivia smiled contentedly.

"I know the girls liked it, too. It was fun to vacation as a family. At times, I felt like we were living a postcard." Casey phrased her next sentence carefully. "Maybe when the girls are old enough, we can come back. Just us." She rolled her neck from side to side.

"Only if you promise to bring your bikini." Liv wore her trademark smirk as Casey smiled and shook her head. She reached over and began to rub Casey's neck for her.

"We haven't really been away since our anniversary in Vermont before the girls came." Casey drifted away in thought about their Civil Union in Vermont. She dug out the Sherrie Austin CD and popped it in. She remembered sharing their first dance after the ceremony as Sherrie sang.

_*The air is cooling and the sun's going down  
The day's been grueling in this dusty old town  
My body's aching for what you do to me_

_Tenderly tenderly  
Tenderly tenderly*_

Casey smiled as she felt Liv's strong hand expertly massage her neck. It seemed as though Liv always new exactly what she needed and when she needed it.

_*The words are easy when the language is love  
You know exactly what I'm thinking of  
My heart is hungry for what you do to me_

_Tenderly tenderly  
Tenderly tenderly*_

Liv watched Casey's face as she rubbed her neck. She got a crooked smile as she wondered exactly what Casey was thinking. She had a pretty good idea as she watched the smile shaping on her wife's mouth.

_*I've had lovers go up in flames  
Been with others who've had no names  
God I've waited patiently  
For someone who really touches me*_

A wistful smile touched the corners of Casey's mouth as she drifted back to even later than night…she softly sang along.

*I feel your fingers and their touch is like fire  
Sensations linger then they turn to desire  
My body's aching for what you do to me

Tenderly tenderly  
Tenderly tenderly*

Casey was only peripherally aware that Liv's cell phone rang.

Liv recognized the number. "Hey, honey. We were just talking about thanking you and..." Liv was silent for too long. "Oh no. Oh God...no. I'm so sorry. Alex? Are you ok?"

Casey was snapped out of her reverie by the tone of Liv's voice. "What?" She mouthed to Liv.

Liv held up her hand. "We're about an hour and a half out of the city. We'll call when we get closer. I'll be there, ok?" All the color had drained from Liv's face.

"See you soon. Bye."

"What is going on, baby?" Casey saw the tears in Liv's eyes.

"Richard." It was all she could croak out before her tears fell. "He, ah..."

"Oh my God. What happened to Richard?" Casey reached out and took Liv's hand.

With her other hand, Liv wiped the tears from her cheeks. "He died. Massive heart attack. God." She covered her mouth.

"No." Casey shook her head and fought back her own tears. She took the nearest exit and pulled in to a mall parking lot. Alex and Richard had been exceptionally good friends to them. They invited them to their place in the Hamptons a couple times a summer. They had been aunt and uncle to their children. Casey and Alex had become best friends. Alex and Richard were Lin's godparents. Richard was the picture of life: fun, funny, fit, outgoing, full of energy, a good and kind soul.

When Liv found her voice again she spoke quietly. "She needs me."

"Of course she does. I can't imagine. Actually, I can. It's a nightmare that keeps me awake at night. But it doesn't usually happen to wealthy Wall Street socialites. It's so wrong." Casey squeezed Liv's hand.

Casey got them back on the road. By mid-afternoon, Olivia had phoned Alex to let her know they were only a few minutes away and asked what she needed. "Just you", was all Alex had said.

The girls were given the short explanation. "Uncle Richard got sick and died and now Aunt Alex is very sad. Remember like when we lost Fishy?" Liv tried to put it in terms they'd understand. "I'm going to stay with her to make sure she's ok." She kissed them both. "Be good for Mama, ok? I love you."

Each little girl hugged and kissed her back. "Love you, Mom."

"Call me and let me know how she is and what I can do to help, honey." Casey kissed Liv's mouth more passionately than she intended, getting caught in the emotion of the moment. This elicited some "Ewwws" from the backseat.

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Liv let herself in to the luxury apartment with her key. She immediately felt something in the pit of her stomach. It was different. She felt Richard's presence missing. The last time she'd been in the apartment, he'd greeted her at the door. Smile plastered on his handsome chiseled face, he'd wrapped her in a warm hug. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Alex?"

Olivia walked in to the living room and saw Alex curled up on the couch. She looked pale, small and fragile. Liv's heart ached at the pain etched on the patrician features. "Alex."

Alex turned her head at the sound of Liv's voice. A sob broke from the back of her throat and she turned her head back. "Sorry."

"God, no. Don't be sorry." She rushed over to her. She knelt in front of Alex and covered her hands with one of hers. "It's ok. It's all going to be ok." With the other she stroked Alex's hair.

Alex swallowed hard. "Liv. I..."

"Don't. You don't have to say anything. Let's just sit a while." Olivia soothed her.

Alex nodded.

Later that evening, Olivia brought her tea and toast. "You should eat something, sweetie. Please."

Alex nodded. "Thank you."

Liv sat beside her on the couch and handed her the cup. Alex tried to take it but her hands shook. "Here." Liv put one hand behind her head, took the cup and brought it to her lips. "Easy. Hot." Alex sipped gently. "Good girl."

Alex smiled weakly. Maternal Olivia was good to have around.

"Here." She took a triangle of toast smeared with strawberry jam and handed it to her. "Put something in your stomach." She dropped the hand to Alex's back and rubbed.

"Mmmm, good." Alex mumbled around her piece of toast.

When Alex had finished two pieces of toast and her tea, she was feeling a little better. "How ya doing?" Liv asked.

"Better, thanks."

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Liv asked her hand now rubbing up and down Alex's arm. "You cold?"

"A little." Alex shrugged. She was wearing the same thing she had on yesterday, jeans shorts and a white tank top. She had unknowingly kissed Richard good-bye for the last time in this outfit. "He was playing squash with his brother at the club."

Liv pulled her closer and wrapped her in a hug.

Alex curled up in to the warmth Olivia offered and continued. "His father died the same way. How can a heart that big in a man that strong be so weak?" Her voice faltered. "Doesn't make sense." Her shoulders began to shake. "So unfair."

"It's not fair and it will never make sense." Liv spoke the words softly in to Alex's long blonde hair. "Don't beat yourself up trying to figure it out." She pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

Alex let her sobs pour out of her. She wept and wailed in Olivia arms until her tears ran dry and her body wracked itself in silent, tearless sobs.

"Let it out, honey. Just let it all out." Liv soothed her as best she could.

Finding her voice again, she poured out her darkest fear. "I feel so guilty, Liv. I loved him, but was never truly in love with him. I was happy, but never deliriously happy. Was he? He made me feel so loved, so special and so safe. I was as content as I've ever been. Was it enough for him? Did he know how much he meant to me? God what if he didn't know?" The sobs started again.

"He knew, sweetie. Shhhh. He knew." She rocked the woman in her arms. "Even if you never told him, which I know you did, it showed in your actions. He described himself as the happiest and luckiest man in Manhattan, Alex. Because of you."

"Thanks, Liv. For being here for me. I know your family needs you with them." Alex said through her sobs.

"No thanks are necessary. I'll always be here. You're as much my family as anyone else, Alex." She pressed a kiss against her forehead.

Alex only sighed and relaxed in to Olivia's embrace.

An hour later, Alex's sobs had dissolved in to soft snores. Liv unfurled herself from around the sleeping woman, settled her on the sofa and padded to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of milk and made a ham and cheese sandwich. She ate standing up in the kitchen, her ears alert for sounds from the living room. She rinsed her dishes and put them in the sink.

She leaned against the counter, took out her cell and hit pound 1. "Hey, sweetie. It's me."

Casey's voice was filled with relief. "Hi Liv. How is she?"

Liv sighed. "Not good. She feels guilty as hell and wonders if he knew she loved him...typical grieving steps."

"Poor thing. Is anyone else there?"

"Nope. The Metcalf's are too distraught to concern themselves with the younger widow Metcalf and you know Alex's family. We're it, baby." Liv's voice held sadness and disappointment.

"You should stay with her, then. I can handle the girls for a couple days." Casey's voice was laced with concern over their friend.

"You sure?" Liv asked, knowing her wife was more than capable of running the household without her. She'd done it often enough when cases kept her in the city for days on end.

"Yes. Give her our love. The girls want to say goodnight." Casey handed the phone to Mei first.

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Alex awoke to the sound of Liv reciting Goodnight Moon from memory in the kitchen.

"Good night noises...everywhere. Good night, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. Have pleasant dreams, angels. I love you. Mwhah mwha mwha."

Alex's heart swelled at the sound of the detective blowing kisses to her daughters.

Liv padded back in to the living room to find Alex sitting up. "Hey."

"How are the girls?"

"They are all great and send their love to you." Liv smiled at thought of her family, her girls.

Alex smiled weakly. "You need to get home to them."

"Nope. You're stuck with me." Liv walked over and sat back down next to Alex.

"Stuck, huh?" Alex leaned in to Olivia.

"Yup. For as long as you need me." She wrapped an arm around the small frame of the blonde attorney.

"I guess if I'm stuck with you, I'm stuck with you."

Alex spent that night curled up in Liv's arms first on the sofa and then in her bed. She welcomed Liv's tenderness as she cried. Unlike the evening they'd spent together years before, Liv's touch now served to comfort her and not to excite.

When the morning sun broke through the bedroom window, Alex blinked against it. It was too bright and hurt her eyes. It forced her to close them again quickly. It was with her eyes closed that she came to her senses where she was, whom she was with and why. The soft warm body breathing underneath her belonged to her best friend. The soft warmth that filled the palm of her hand was Liv's breast. She carefully pulled her hand away not sure how she'd found herself in that compromising position. Liv stirred, but didn't wake.

Alex opened her eyes again and rolled on to her back. She rubbed her eyes. Liv was sleeping beside her with a content smile on her face. She slept in her black t-shirt and panties. Alex was in her nightshirt, but couldn't remember how she had gotten in to it. Liv must have helped her change after one of her sobbing sessions.

She took a couple of deep breaths. There was a lot to do this day. Arrangements needed to be made. Plans had to be sorted out. Details tended to. She knew she could face it with Olivia by her side.

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The day of the funeral was a dark overcast day. Casey arrived with the girls in the morning.

"Oh Alex, I'm so sorry." Casey wrapped her friend in a bear hug as she greeted her at the door.

"Thanks, Case." She squeezed the woman tightly. "For everything." The tall women clung to each other for a bit longer.

Two little girls with black hair and dark eyes in matching navy coats tugged on Alex's sleeve.

"Auntie Alex?" Mei asked.

"Yes, my little darlings. How are you doing?" Alex kneeled down and put an arm around each of them.

"I love you, Auntie Alex." Mei said.

"We're sorry you're sad." Lin added.

Tears slid down Alex's cheek as she hugged the two little girls. "I-I love you too."

"Hey angels!" Liv called from down the hall.

"Mom!!!" Both girls squealed and ran in to her waiting arms.

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Later that day, Alexandra Cabot-Metcalf buried her husband, her lover, her friend. She stood shoulder to shoulder with the two women in her life that meant the most to her. She struck quite an imposing figure as the young widow with her blonde hair flowing against her simple black dress and black overcoat. She lifted her face to the heavens as a warm rain began to fall. For Alex, she felt it was a cleansing rain perhaps sent by Richard himself. She smiled through her tears.

From that dark day sprang what Alex would come to know as the best years of her life. She threw herself headlong in to her work. When she wasn't working for the people of New York, she was donating generously of her time and money to a number of worthy causes. A wealthy widow before forty, she was elected New York's youngest District Attorney a couple of years later.

When she wasn't busy with work or charities, she spent her free time at a quaint cape in Queens with a large backyard and a white picket fence. Olivia and Casey and their daughters, Mei and Lin, were her family now.

Today, almost four years after her husband's funeral, she was headed there for a 4th of July picnic/SVU squad reunion.

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	18. Chapter 18

**_Author's Note: We continue our story in the future. As before, I'm doing things a little differently and will be interested in what you think. Any and all feedback is gratefully accepted. Enjoy!_**

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Elliot and Olivia stood near the grill discussing the Yankee's season thus far and the possibilities of _another_ shot at the World Series. A large collie lay at Liv's feet eagerly watching three children playing a tag/hide-n-seek hybrid in the backyard, ears perked up.

"Easy, girl." Liv scratched the dog behind the ears.

"That's right, Aurora. Eli is only playing with your kids." Elliot patted her flank affectionately.

Liv took a swig of her beer. "So, when's Maureen due again, 'gramps'?"

"Shut up already, 'captain'. She's due in January. Hard to believe." Elliot sipped his beer as well.

"You know, every time somebody calls me that, I still look over my shoulder to see where he is." Liv pondered the recent changes in their lives and smiled. Elliot and Kathy were going to be grandparents and Eli was only ten. She had gotten promoted to captain just over a year ago, after Captain Don Cragen had retired. Her girls were going to start second grade in the fall. Didn't seem possible.

She was shaken from her reverie by her girls' gleeful shouts. "Grampy Don, Grampy Don!"

"Hey! Hey." Don Cragen chuckled as two little girls with black hair and big brown eyes leaped up at him. "How are my little ladies?"

"Good. What's in the bag, Grampy?" Mei tried to look in the bag.

"It's something for later. I'll give it to your Mom. Eli, my man. Good to see you." Don set the girls down and patted their heads. "Good grief, you're getting so big."

The girls ran back off playing and giggling with Eli.

"Hey, Don. How's the golf swing coming along?" Elliot asked with a grin.

"Elliot. How's SVU's most senior detective?" He walked over and clapped him soundly on the back. Elliot was a lifer. He'd never be happy doing anything but investigating crimes and nailing perps. It was a good thing he had marked skill in that arena.

"Doing great. The 1-6 is doing well under the stewardship of our new esteemed captain." Elliot stood and flipped the burgers.

"Good to hear I passed the torch appropriately." Don hugged Liv.

The sliding glass doors opened and Kathy Stabler and Casey emerged with pitchers of lemonade and iced tea. "Don!" Casey smiled. "So glad you could make it."

"Hey, Casey. Wouldn't miss it for the world." The charming ex-captain hugged both women warmly and took the pitchers from them.

"Ah, looks like I'm just in time then...refreshing beverages and hugs from beautiful women." John Munch was the next to arrive on the deck.

John Munch had also retired. His endeavors post-SVU detective had taken him south. He said his people went to Florida in retirement. He was now the director of security for the retirement community where he lived.

"Hey Munch." Liv grinned at her old friend. "How are things in the sunshine state?"

"Sunny and shiny, my friends." John smiled at his old friends.

"Munch you old sonofagun. Good to see ya." Elliot grinned and slapped his shoulder genially. "Where's Fin? Thought he was catching a ride out with you?"

"Fin and Ken had an emergency at the center. He sends his deepest regrets along with a big bottle of gin." Munch placed a bag on the picnic table.

Odafin Tutuola had retired along with John Munch, his old partner. He and his son Ken opened a center for at risk gay youth in Fin's old neighborhood. Captain Benson and DA Cabot-Metcalf were both avid supporters of the center.

"Then I guess the gang's all here...all but our illustrious DA. Will Ms. Cabot-Metcalf be joining us?" Don asked.

"And will she be bringing her peach cobbler?" Elliot added with a wiggle of the eyebrows and a smirk.

"Alex is on her way." Casey piped up from pouring lemonade for the kids and iced tea for the adults.

Just then, Alex's M-class Mercedes pulled up in the driveway. She smiled broadly as she saw the old squad huddled together on the deck. The first person at the gate to greet her was Mei. "Auntie Alex is here!!!"

As Alex walked up to the gate, she heard her friends and family shout words of greeting. "Hi Mei. How are you, sweetie pie?" Following Mei, the large collie approached the fence, tail wagging wildly. "Hey Aurora! How's my sweet girl?"

"We're good Auntie Alex. Wanna play tag and seek with us?" Now Lin had joined her sister at the gate.

"Maybe later, girls. Hi Eli." The kids ran back off to play.

"Yeah, yeah, counselor, did you bring the cobbler?" Elliot yelled over to her.

"Is that the only reason I get invited to these things?" She grinned slyly.

"Habeus cobblerus, Counselor...or we'll sick Aurora on you." Liv smirked.

Alex held up a 9X12 pan covered in foil. "As if Aurora here would do anything but slobber me to death." She made her way through the gate.

"Hey, I eat peach cobbler and I vote." Casey joked with Alex as she met her half way and took the cobbler. "I'll keep this safe until later."

Alex kissed Casey on the lips. "Well, there's one vote then. Thanks, Case."

Alex exchanged hugs with the remaining party guests and walked up to Liv. "Smells good, captain." She greeted Liv with same peck on the lips that Casey got. "I must be just in time."

As the old friends gathered around the picnic table and remembered the glory days of the squad, Elliot mentioned how lucky they were to have only lost one among their ranks to a perp's bullet. The only person who would not be joining them for that reason was former SVU detective Chester Lake. After a couple years with the Manhattan SVU, he moved to Philadelphia's homicide division to be closer to his girlfriend. After less than a year on the job in the City of Brotherly Love, Detective Lake was shot and killed in the line of duty.

Casey squeezed Liv's hand under the table. "We're all very lucky."

"I'll drink to that." Kathy Stabler raised her glass.

"To our brothers and sisters in blue. May they all be safe tonight." Munch toasted.

Time had indeed been kind to the old SVU squad. As Liv looked around the table at her children, wife and good friends, she almost choked up. Munch was rambling on to Don about the conspiracies rampant in the adult communities of Florida. Casey and Kathy were discussing soccer camps. Elliot was pitching while Eli and the girls took turns batting and running imaginary bases. She sighed deeply.

"You look a million miles away, Liv. What are you thinking about?" Alex's voice was soft and low so as to not startle her.

"That we need to clear these dishes so we can tear in to that cobbler." Liv smiled.

"Uh huh. I can help with that." Alex started collecting the paper plates and Liv got a garbage bag.

"Thanks." Liv said as both women retreated to the kitchen.

"Yup. So, how's Casey's new schedule working out?"

"She loves it. She gets to drop the girls off at school, stretch her legal muscles until just after lunch and be here for them when they get home. It's perfect." Liv smiled broadly at the ridiculously stereotypical lifestyle they now had.

"Yeah, well, Mr. Cleaver, before you expect Casey to bring you your pipe, slippers and your Maker's Mark...make sure she's as over the moon about it as you think."

"What? You think Casey might not be happy?" Liv's brow knit with concern.

"I didn't say that. I just said you might want to confirm with her. 'Love' and 'perfect' are not the words she's used. That's all." Alex peeled the foil off the cobbler.

"When do you guys find the time to have these deep philosophical conversations?" Liv bumped Alex with her hip and tried to steal a piece of cobbler.

Alex smacked her hand. "Pillow talk, honey."

Liv shook her head and chuckled. "Well, can you at least video tape it for me next time? That sounds like my idea of a good time." She waggled her eyebrows.

Alex joined her in giggling. "Guess we've got each other's number, huh?"

"Yup." Liv reached past Alex and grabbed some plates. "Always have." She kissed her cheek.

"I'll talk to Casey. I promise." Liv walked out to the backyard with Alex and cobbler in tow.

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Later that evening, after the cobbler had been devoured, the s'mores Grampy Don brought had been made and enjoyed and the fireworks displayed, the guests took their leave of the Benson-Novak household...all but one.

Olivia was upstairs tucking the girls in and Alex and Casey were in the kitchen.

"Another rousing success, Case." Alex said while drying a casserole dish.

"Thanks, Alex. We're very lucky to have this." Casey was loading the dishwasher.

"Thanks for sharing what you have so selflessly with us...with me." Alex slung the dishtowel over her shoulder and sipped her drink.

"You know, we have this conversation over and over, sweetie. You're our family. Shut up and stop thanking us for it." Casey grinned warmly.

"You're all I have now. And I just..." Alex swallowed hard. "Especially on holidays...it's still...I get..."

Casey closed the dishwasher and walked over to Alex. She put her hand on her martini glass. "You are cut off. C'mere." She hugged the blonde to her tightly.

Alex was struggling against tears. "Casey."

"Shhhh. Don't. Just don't, ok?" She smoothed Alex's hair and rubbed her back. "For the last time, you're not borrowing our life. You're not imposing on our family. We love you and want you here."

Alex could hold back no longer. Her tears streamed down her face as her arms hung at her side.

"Hey, hey." Olivia entered the kitchen to the scene playing out. She walked over and wrapped both women in a hug. "Whatever this is all about, it can't be that bad. Remember my strict no tears on holidays policy?"

For some reason the kind words and warm embrace Olivia added to the moment only made Alex cry harder. Alex had her face buried in Casey's neck. Olivia held her from behind and whispered soothing words in her ear. Olivia also rubbed Casey's back. After several minutes, Alex seemed a bit calmer.

"Sorry, guys." Alex sniffed and wiped her eyes.

Olivia hooked her chin over Alex's shoulder. "Your apology is not accepted. Next sorry out of you results in us tickling you until you pee your pants."

Alex chuckled at Olivia's threat. "Ok, ok. Next time I'll just have to figure out a different way to get in the middle of the Casey/Olivia love sandwich."

Now it was Casey who laughed. "There are easier ways, DA Cabot." Casey kissed her friend's forehead. "Wanna watch the fireworks on TV, ladies?" Casey led the two women to the living room by their hands.

A half hour later, the women were huddled together barefoot on the large sofa enjoying the fireworks live from Washington, DC. Olivia sat in the middle with Casey curled up on her left and Alex curled up on her right. She was running her fingers through both women's hair.

Liv whispered to Alex, "How are you doing, honey? Better?"

"Hmmm. Yes." Alex always felt safe at Olivia and Casey's house. "Thanks. I just get a little weepy sometimes still."

"You've got every right, Alex." Casey added from the other side of Liv. "We're here for you, always. We're family. Got it?"

"I think I get it." She reached her arm past Liv and touched Casey on the shoulder. Casey did the same to her.

"Good." Casey laid her head on Liv's shoulder as the 1812 Overture was beginning.

Alex was running her finely manicured fingernails across the ribbed fabric of Liv's tank top over her stomach. She traced the defined muscles she felt underneath the cotton fabric. For a woman in her fifties, Liv was still in remarkable shape. Some gray had spread throughout her shoulder length chestnut locks, but it only served to make her look that much more distinguished. Casey was firmly rubbing Liv's forearm.

Liv shifted a little in her comfy nest between the two women. She was used to Alex needing to touch and be touched. She and Casey were the only people she felt comfortable enough around to display real affection. Providing comfort to Alex was important to Liv. The poor woman had been through enough. She couldn't help the feelings that were stirring as Alex's fingers traveled dangerously south on her abdomen though.

As Alex's finger's played around the area of Liv's belly button, she closed her eyes and imagined. She imagined Liv was hers. She imagined the two kids sleeping upstairs belonged to her, too. In her imagination, so did the sofa they were sitting on and the plasma TV they watched. She completely departed from her life as a single widow who hadn't been touched intimately in the four years since her husband's death. She couldn't recall the life of the youngest DA New York had ever elected. All that existed was here and now. This sofa. This woman. This moment.

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	19. Chapter 19

**_Author's Note: Fair warning on some of the M rated adult content ahead. Again, I'm doing things a little differently here, but promise all will be explained and resolved. Your feedback is always welcome. Enjoy!_**

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When Alex opened her eyes, Casey's wide green ones were staring at her. She had an odd smile on her face. Wordlessly, she leaned over Liv's lap and kissed Alex on the lips. The kiss wasn't quite chaste yet not passionate. It was a kiss of invitation.

Alex pulled back and looked down at Liv. Liv's eyes were the color of strong black coffee and her pulse was racing. She licked her lips at the sight of the two women she loved most kissing each other more than sisterly.

"Uh. Case? Alex?" She swallowed hard, her eyebrows arched. "You want me to leave you two alone?" Her fingers squeezed the shoulders of the other women tightly.

Casey looked at Alex with a short but questioning glance. Alex's ocean blue eyes registered her answer. "Does our baby feel left out?" Casey purred.

Liv whimpered and shifted uncomfortably. "What? Uh, no. I...whatever you need."

The blonde and redhead again made eye contact that spoke volumes. Casey leaned down to capture her wife's lips in a fiery kiss. Alex continued tracing patterns on Liv's stomach while reaching her other hand across and doing the same to Casey's.

Liv's fingers flexed desperately. Her arms were pinned behind the women and she struggled to free them. She wanted to touch and feel.

Casey spoke first. "Are you ok?" Casey got a nod from her wife in response. "Stop struggling, baby. Just let us do...this." She let her kisses trail down Liv's neck.

Alex took advantage of Liv's newly available lips and kissed her with all the pent up passion and sexual frustration she'd felt in the last several years. Her hand scooted up and cupped one of Liv's full breasts. Alex gasped in to Liv's mouth as she felt Casey's hand caressing the firm flesh of her buttocks.

Liv's answer was a muffled groan deep in her throat. The feeling of both women's mouths and hands upon her was overwhelming. Her mouth was a point of contact she could control so she kissed Alex deeply. Alex's mouth opened to Liv's questing tongue. Alex squirmed next to her and pressed her body in to Liv's. Liv's tongue invaded Alex's mouth. Alex's tongue then pushed in to Liv's mouth and Liv began a gentle suckling of it. Her taste was as sweet as she remembered...even the hint of vodka was the same.

Alex pulled back and arched her neck. "Oh God. Liv...Casey."

"Alex." Both Casey and Liv breathed out the woman's name in unison.

This caused Alex to giggle. "That was a little surreal." She sat back against the sofa.

"Yeah, no kidding." Liv grinned.

"Which part?" Casey smiled and joined Alex in sitting back on the sofa.

Liv took that moment to free her arms from behind the women and grab their hands. "Pretty much all of it." She sighed and half grinned. "I have to tell you both though...that was pretty amazing."

"I don't know what got in to me." Alex buried her face in her hands. "It was like we were suddenly in the Playboy Mansion."

"What got in to _you_?" Casey said with sarcasm. "How about what got in to _me_? I was the one serving my wife up like a filet mignon." Casey flushed a little at the thought.

"So, what do we do now? I'm not too ashamed to admit..." Liv smirked a sly half-smile, "my motor's still running." She squeezed the hands of the women who were responsible for working her up.

"I should excuse myself and let you go be with your wife." Alex tried to pull her hand away while smoothing out her clothing and hair.

"No way." Casey climbed over Liv's lap and straddled Alex. "We started it. We finish it." And with that Casey pushed her hips against Alex's and Eskimo kissed her. "How long has it been, sweetie?"

Alex focused on breathing but her hips bucked against the pressure as her hands rested on Casey's thighs. "Too long, Case. But that's not your responsibility."

"Your hips tell a different story." Liv teased and reached in between the women palming one breast with each hand. "So do your nipples, sweetheart. Alex, let's do this...seems like we all need each other."

Alex closed her eyes against the pleasure she was feeling. Casey again kissed her lips with a gentle yet firm open-mouthed kiss. Alex melted in to the kiss. Casey was her best friend and there was friendship, care and love in the kiss. Alex parted her lips slightly as Casey tugged and nipped at them. Alex's hands found the silky flesh of Casey's neck and stroked it gently. Casey's hands slid down Alex's chest until her palms came to rest on the firm mounds of her breasts. Casey cupped the flesh in her hand.

When Liv spoke, her voice was low and husky. "Let us take care of you, Alex. We want to. We want _you_."

Alex groaned her response. One of her hands found it's way under Casey's shirt and stroked the warm flesh of her back. The other searched desperately for Olivia. Liv grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She kissed Alex's palm and then placed it under her shirt.

Liv sat back a little and watched Casey and Alex make out. She was flushed with the excitement and naughtiness of it all. The kisses were escalating and Alex brought her hands to the hems of the other women's shirts. Liv quickly assisted in removing her own shirt and Casey's.

Alex gazed on the now bra-clad women who were about to become her lovers and took a deep breath. "You are both gorgeous." She bit her bottom lip.

Casey grabbed one side of Alex's shirt and Liv grabbed the other. They struggled a bit but managed to divest Alex of her shirt as well. "Speaking of gorgeous..." Casey bent her head and began kissing the newly exposed skin of Alex's chest.

Liv cozied in next to the two women and began lavishing attention on Alex's neck. Alex squirmed under the ministrations. "Oh God. Casey. Liv. Yessss."

Liv pressed her tongue flat against Alex's neck and felt her rapid pulse underneath it. "Oh Alex." She whispered a low growl against the tender flesh before raking her teeth across the pulse point only to lave it with her tongue after.

Alex could feel her desire pooling between her legs and pushed her hips up in to Casey desperately. Casey's mouth was teasing the curve of her breast while her fingers tweaked her nipple through the satin fabric. "Oh Casey...mmmmmmmmm." Her eyes were shut tight.

"Seems like you need something, hmmm, Alex?" Liv teased.

"What is it, Alex?" Casey asked.

Both women had stopped their ministrations and she ached for the contact to return. "You. Please. Come back."

"Alex, honey..." Liv's voice was distant now.

"Don't go. Don't leave me...not like this. Not fair."

"Sweetie, no one's going any where. Alex?" Liv's voice was laced with concern. "Alex, I think you're having a nightmare. Baby, wake up." She placed her hand on Alex's shoulder and gave her a gentle shake.

Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her down on top of her. "Come back." Alex murmured. "Please."

Liv held Alex close and attempted again to rouse her. "Alex, honey. You've got to wake up. Everything's ok. It's Liv and you're safe."

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	20. Chapter 20

**_Author's Note: This is the conclusion folks. I thank all who read this story and a special thanks to those that leave feedback. Extra special thanks to those who gave me the courage to publish this story...something I _never_ would have done on my own. Enjoy!_**

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Alex's eyes shot open. "Liv?" She swallowed hard and squirmed out from under her. "Where's Casey?" She curled up on the opposite end of the sofa.

"Shhhh, it's ok. Case went to bed. I was tucking you in down here and getting ready to turn in myself...but it sounded like you were having a nightmare." Liv inched closer to the blonde who'd pulled herself in to the fetal position.

"No, Liv. I'm fine. I should go. Sorry I fell asleep on you." Alex's face was flushed yet she shivered.

"No way. Casey will kill me _twice_ if I let you drive home at 1am. I'll get you settled upstairs. Come on." Liv offered her hand. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine...but you're not leaving."

Alex made no move to leave the sanctity of her corner of the couch.

Liv walked over to Alex, kneeled next to her and put her hand on her forehead. "You feeling ok?"

Alex jerked out from under the touch. "Yes, Liv. Please." Alex closed her eyes and tried to even her breath. _A dream. It had all been a dream. A stupid dream. A wet dream. Oh God. I'm still worked up._ Her stomach lurched a little and she covered her mouth. "Excuse me. Sorry."

Liv watched in astonished silence as Alex scurried off to the downstairs bathroom acting like she was going to be sick. She ran both hands through her hair as she stood by the bathroom door and waited. She eventually heard the toilet flush and the water running.

Alex's loneliness since Richard's death had only rarely taken a physical form. After the first year of their marriage, their love life would have made most nuns look like swingers. They were intimate once a month or so if their schedules allowed it. Mostly, she enjoyed his physical presence more than their physical intimacy. Being held, hugged, kissed and caressed meant more to her than toe-curling sex. Yet, she was only human and eventually her baser needs would surface. But why here, tonight...and with _both_ of her dearest friends? What kind of sick, twisted perversion of their friendship was that? She sat on the toilet and hung her head.

After several minutes, Alex placed her hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. "Hey, Liv. Sorry about that. I guess maybe you were right. I'm not feeling well."

"Ya think?" Liv cocked her head. "C'mon. Let's get you upstairs and in bed." She offered Alex her hand.

"That's a good idea, but I'm just not in a touchy, feely place right now. I'll put myself to bed, thanks." Alex thought her words seemed harsher than she meant them. She rarely turned down offered touch from Olivia.

Liv furrowed her brow, rocked back on her heels and blocked the doorway. "What was your nightmare?"

Alex made her lips a thin line and rubbed her forehead. "It wasn't a nightmare."

Liv stroked her chin and played with her bottom lip. She sighed then pursed her lips. "Well, something happened while you were asleep and it has rocked you pretty hard. Since I care about you, Alex, I'm going to ask you one more time, then I'll be forced to tickle it out of you." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Don't you dare. Liv...really. Don't." Alex backed up slightly. She didn't know what having Liv's hands on her body even in a teasing, tickling way would do to her in her current state.

"Then answer the question. What was your nightmare?" Liv took one step in to the bathroom.

"It wasn't a nightmare, ok? I swear. Now let me out of here." Alex took another step backwards.

"Have it your way." Liv advanced on Alex with her hands outstretched. It was obvious that Alex wasn't in the mood to play. "At least let me give you a hug."

Alex closed her eyes and didn't back up when Liv closed the remaining distance between them. She felt Liv's strong arms wrap around her as they had so many times before offering her safe harbor. Liv rubbed soothing circles on her back and pressed Alex's head to her shoulder before running her fingers through the silky blonde strands.

Alex felt waves of emotion crash over her. Fear. Shame. Doubt. Desire. And the undertow of love. "Liv. Let go of me, please."

Liv shook her head. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

She tried to wiggle from Liv's grasp, but that was never going to happen. Liv was far stronger though a few inches shorter. "Liv. Stop."

"Shhhh. Alex, c'mon. It's Olivia you're talking to here. It's all going to be ok. Just don't shut me out." She whispered her words low and in to Alex's ear.

Alex had begun to cry. "Please just let me go."

"Never." Liv continued to hold her and began to rock her a little. She pressed a kiss on the side of her head. "Please tell me what has you this upset."

"Ok. But only if you let me leave the bathroom."

"Fair enough. Where's a better place?" Liv released Alex from her embrace and grabbed her hand.

Alex wiped her eyes with her free hand and led Olivia back to the family room. "No place like the family room for an inquisition, right, captain?"

Liv groaned both at the insinuation and the use of her title. "So, tell me, DA Cabot-Metcalf, what has you so upset this evening?"

Alex plopped on to the sofa and buried her head in her hands. "You're really going to make me tell you, aren't you?"

Liv nodded. "Alex, I've managed to put together that you weren't having a nightmare. So that really leaves only one other kind of dream that you wouldn't be willing to share."

Alex spoke from behind her hands. "Yes. I was having an erotic dream. Happy now?"

"Depends. How was I?" Liv sat next to Alex but left a respectful distance between them.

"You're so convinced you had a staring role?" Alex lowered her hands and looked at Liv. She was relieved to see no judgment or ill feeling there, only a slight smirk.

Liv moved her head from side to side. "I didn't? Hmmm, must be slipping in my old age."

Alex took a breath and looked Liv in the eye. "Your role was more of a co-star."

"Ah. You know that actually makes sense. Richard and I are the people you feel safest with. And you're human, Alex. You have needs. If you don't consciously address them, they'll come out in other avenues."

"You think you've got all the answers?" Alex widened her eyes. "Richard wasn't your co-star."

Now it was Liv's turn to widen her eyes. Then her brows knit tightly and she squinted. Alex loved watching her face process the information. It was Liv's detective face. "Casey?"

"You should be a detective, you know?" Alex snarked.

A mischievous smirk danced across Liv's dark features. "You know that your dream was not all that original, right?"

Alex coughed. "What do you mean?"

"You're a beautiful woman, Alex. You hug and kiss us in a way that's just north of friendship. I'd be lying if I told you Casey and I hadn't fantasized about the Alex Love Sandwich." She picked up Alex's hand and kissed it.

Alex shook her head. "WHAT?"

"Casey and I have been together almost ten years, Alex. Eventually, you have to spice things up in the bedroom or things fall flat. One of the things we do is share fantasies. You remember how erotic it was when we did that with each other? You're one of our fantasies."

"But...but..." Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. "It felt like such a betrayal to me when I thought of you, both of you, that way."

"I guess I understand that. But, sweetie, it's ok. Really." She moved her hand up Alex's arm and rubbed it.

"And Casey's ok with it, too?"

"I think Casey got a bigger charge out of it than I did." Liv grinned.

Alex arched an eyebrow. "Huh."

"Can we get some sleep now?" Liv asked with a yawn.

"Yeah, I feel a lot less dirty now. Thanks, Liv." She reached over and kissed her cheek.

"You wanna upgrade from the guest room?" Liv smirked and wiggled her brows.

"Give me a break." Alex shook her head.

"Just to sleep?" Liv arched both eyebrows.

"Nuh uh. I'm probably going to need some, uhm, alone time before I can drift off." Alex blushed.

Liv nodded. "Well, if you just want to sleep after, you know where to find us. I'm gonna head up, then." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead. "Good night, Alex. Oh, and sweet dreams!" She winked and headed up the stairs.

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About a half hour later, Liv heard the bedroom door open. Her eyes blinked open and her ears perked up. A moment later, once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she made out Alex's silhouette in the doorframe, backlit by the nightlight in the hall.

"Alex?"

Liv's head turned to the woman she thought was sleeping next to her. Sleepy green eyes met hers then turned towards the door.

Casey groggily spoke up. "Alex, honey, you ok?"

Alex shrugged silently and padded barefoot and clad in her nightshirt over to the foot of the bed. She looked down at the two women who lay in the king size bed. In the dark, her eyes seemed almost gray.

Liv and Casey exchanged a look and then reached out their hands to Alex. Alex slowly crawled across the bed and with the help of the other women, insinuated herself under the covers between them.

When they were finally settled, Alex was curled facing Casey and Liv was nestled in against Alex's back. In almost ridiculous unison, the three women sighed contentedly.

"Good night." Alex pressed a kiss against Casey's neck.

"Night Alex." Casey managed to mumble.

"Sweet dreams, ladies." Liv kissed the back of Alex's head and draped her arm over Alex so that her hand came to rest on Casey's hip.

The three women drifted to sleep surrounded by warmth, comfort, strength and love.

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The End


End file.
